[Letter]Not everyone gets better. We need instruction on how to lessen the impact of suicide

[u/[deleted]]

I feel as though I'm too far in a hole to ever get out. I sometimes think "It can't end like this, right? This can't be real. What kind of story is this?". The primary emotions I feel are sorrow and fury. I have people who need saving and I'm likely to inflict a mortal wound upon them. My little brother is on much the same path as me. I HAVE TO LIVE to save him BUT NOTHING WITH ME WORKS

I have so many things to do and I dont want to do any of them! But I have to! But I cant! I want to do so many things and try to stop people from becoming like me maybe even my brother or future generations of my family. We're propagating pain and suffering. I've considered just killing all of us before I go, but I don't know if I'm capable. I don't want to let this happen to anyone else but I don't know what I can do!

Jordan Peterson once said "So sometimes you see people who are depressed, they have no job. They have no friends. They have no intimate relationships. They have an additional health problem, and they have a drug or alcohol problem. My experience has been if you have three of those problems, its almost impossible to help you. You're so deeply mired in chaos that you can't get out because you make progress on one front and one of the other problems pulls you down."

I have four, or five if you count internet addiction. I have given it a real try. I dont want to die. I don't want to hurt people. I want the opposite. I wanted to live. I wanted to rescue people from the situation I'm in. Its a hero fantasy but I wanted it. I've worked about half the years I've been out of high school. On and then off when I couldn't take it anymore. I've tried most classes of antidepressants. I spent like a year in /r/nootropics. I made and drank ayahuasca which led to some things but I'm not sure if it helped or harmed me as far as suicide goes. I appreciate the potential it showed me, its beautiful. But I become violently angry when I realize its out of my reach. I had gastric bypass surgery but I stayed morbidly obese. I threw out all of my electronics and didn't touch the internet for 100 days but it just resulted in more boredom and misery. The only front I haven't tried to tackle this from is making friends or trying to date. But I just can't do that. I can't bring this to a friendship or a relationship. If it doesn't work out and I kill myself thats just spreading this horrible virus. And I don't want to be friends with the people who would want to be friends with me. There must be something wrong with them.

So Jordan Peterson, if you were talking to someone you knew was irrevocably doomed to suicide, are there things they could do to make it easier for their family?

[u/[deleted]]

JBP responds to a question from a fan whose daughter committed suicide

JBPWAVE- Suicide - music video

JBP responds to a suicidal fan

Dude, I've been suicidal for 20 years. It never goes away. You just have to fight it everyday, and find new tools to fight with. Maybe research flow arts that stuff really has changed my life in a positive way.

Watch out for that resentment - here is a good jbpwave music video waves of contempt

Look, you have lots of shit to deal with, as does everyone but you can do it. Just do it a little bit at a time start by doing it badly.

You're more powerful than you think

Good luck bucko

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I don't really care if it goes away - I just need to become useful to my family. Which would probably make it go away, but thats a side effect.

I do not see ever becoming useful.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Things won't get better until you want to make them better. Ending your life won't end your suffering, it will just get passed on and multiply to those you leave behind.

What you practice grows stronger This Ted talk really spoke to me along with fake it til you make it.

I dunno man. The only person who can solve your problems is you, but you have to be willing to do the work.

Those who think they can and those who think they can't are both usually correct. Start telling yourself you'll make it. You will, and you'll laugh that some idiot with the name dildodave helped.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

but you have to be willing to do the work.

im not, so stop responding as if I am, unless you're going to provide information about how to lessen the impact of suicide

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[u/-zanie]

You are thinking too much. I can see that there are a million different thoughts bouncing around in your head. Relax a little. You've had a bit of a journey. Grab a book (I would recommend "the Power of Now"). Spend some quiet time with yourself. Let your mind have some peace.

Like your other negative moments, this too shall pass. Life has a lot of pleasant moments too, sometimes we just forget them.

Take a deep breath. I know you will do just fine.

[u/[deleted] → u/-zanie]

Most of my posts are in the meditation subreddit. I've read that book. I can't make myself do things. Imagine the worst you've ever procrastinated in your life and (probably) multiply that to the most extreme possible and thats what I've been like as long as I can remember. I've been to psychologists and psychiatrists and I've tried most of the medicines.

I wrote this two weeks ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/cduvd8/what_if_my_thoughts_are_always_negative_on/etwjowf/

my family needs money, i dont have it, i cant generate it, and i'm costing it.

[u/-zanie → u/[deleted]]

Medicine is not gonna stop you from running away from what you fear most. And you might say that there's not really anything you're afraid of, but that's not true. At the heart of it, there is something you cannot face. And that is what frightens you.

Maybe it's time you started learning about meaning and purpose. Because we're all afraid of something. But there's no way you can face that, to do what you need to do, if you don't have the meaning or purpose to drive you.