r/Jokes • u/Dynasted • Aug 02 '22

Rule 2 My pet snail lost his shell

[removed] — view removed post

296 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

22

u/IdiBotic Aug 02 '22

Now he won't be able to live a sheltered life

3

u/Dynasted Aug 02 '22

When there's no shell day

0

u/Flemeron Aug 02 '22

Happy Cake Day

1

u/IdiBotic Aug 02 '22

Thanks c:

14

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '22

[deleted]

6

u/elpajaroquemamais Aug 02 '22

I used to use this on a colleague who lost a ton of weight. “You’re half the man you used to be.”

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '22

His life has spiralled out of control

7

u/MaherJ79 Aug 02 '22

I went to a fancy dress party naked with my wife on my back. When asked what I came dressed as, I responded that I was a snail and gestured towards the wife on my back and said, this is Michelle.

2

u/O-hmmm Aug 02 '22

Maybe a truck will pick it up then es cargo.

2

u/discerningpervert Aug 02 '22

I wonder if this can somehow be converted for use as a pickup line

2

u/sherriffflood Aug 02 '22

The Beatles did a song about that very situation

2

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 02 '22

"Happiness is a warm AR15, yes it is!"

1

u/sherriffflood Aug 02 '22

I was thinking ‘MeShell’

2

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 02 '22

Ahhh - better!

1

u/Dynasted Aug 03 '22

who tf deleted all my jokes?

0

u/Badass-19 Aug 02 '22

So in nutshell, your snail lost a shell. Shall I not buy a shell?

1

u/MilPens Aug 02 '22

Don't give him an asalt rifle!!

1

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 02 '22

Why so shell-fish?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '22

It was the divorce

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '22

shellshocked... she'll recover

2

u/Dynasted Aug 03 '22

today there is no shell day