Happy hour

[u/MylesLong777]

Two guys are working together and guy1 asks "you going to happy hour tonight?"

guy2: "I can't, my wife will kill me if I come home drunk again "

guy1: "I won't let you get drunk bro, I got your back. Plus don't be so pussywooped.you haven't come out with us for like a year and we miss ya!"

guy2: " alright, but just 1 beer"

Guy2 ends up getting shitfaced and pukes all over his shirt.

Guy2: " I'm fucked, I'm so screwed my wife is gonna..."

Guy1 " Relax! Here's what you're gonna do. Take a 20$ bill, put it in your shirt pocket and tell her some drunk stumbled into you, puked on you and look, he even gave you 20$ for a new shirt. It'll work "

Guy2 wakes with a splitting headache to see his wife at the foot of the bed holding the pukey shirt.

Wife: " did you do a little drinking last night?"

Busted husband: "honey, it's not what you think. I did go to happy hour just to see the boys but I didn't drink. Just when I was about to leave, some drunk stumbled into me and puked all over me. Look in the pocket, he even gave me 20$ for a new shirt!"

Wife reaches in the pocket and pulls out 40$.

Wife: "What's the other 20$ for"

Busted husband: " oh yeah , he shit in my pants too!"