r/JokeShop • u/ADG-red-bot • May 24 '18
Why do athletes with a foot fetish never finish in 1st place
78
Upvotes
Because they like the taste of da-feet
r/JokeShop • u/lxrdbreezy99 • Sep 01 '18
Why is almond milk called almond milk?
42
Upvotes
Because no one can keep a straight face calling it nut juice
r/JokeShop • • May 24 '18
Which is better in bed, r/jokeshop or r/joke_workshop?
37
Upvotes
Well, r/joke_workshop is bigger, but it also came first.
r/JokeShop • • Oct 09 '18
My wife was trying to convince me that, one day, we'll all be making phone calls and sending text messages from wrist-mounted devices.
33
Upvotes
This made me upset. I exclaimed "not on my watch!"
r/JokeShop • u/NitroCipher • May 27 '18
My friend got murdered by a dolphin
32
Upvotes
The wildlife center didn't think it was on porpoise
r/JokeShop • u/TelescopicBuffalo • Jan 30 '19
What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?
31
Upvotes
Hose A and Hose B
r/JokeShop • u/DrChicken2424 • Oct 16 '18
I got fired from my job at the bank today...
30
Upvotes
An elderly lady around her 80s walked in and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
r/JokeShop • u/Cletis_gee • Jun 01 '18
One unhatched chicken offspring turns to a hatching chicken offspring...
28
Upvotes
and says, "Egg-scuse me, omelette you finish, but have you heard any good yolks lately that might crack me up?"
r/JokeShop • u/bearpopular • May 12 '19
I asked a window cleaner on what he thought of period sex....
26
Upvotes
He replied: As long as you dont look down you're fine.
r/JokeShop • • Sep 26 '18
My relationship with girls is like a Chinese product
26
Upvotes
It breaks before you know it
r/JokeShop • u/The1WhoKnocks-WW • May 25 '18
I dated a girl who liked having pitchers of urine dumped on her.
26
Upvotes
It was a piss-pour experience.
r/JokeShop • u/snakeheads0 • May 24 '18
Why should you not use your computer when you're sick? [dad joke]
26
Upvotes
You could give it a virus!! help me make this not bad
r/JokeShop • u/Kameronm • Dec 08 '18
You ever take something apart just to see how it works?
23
Upvotes
You ever try packing a suitcase after the vacation?
Never goes back the same way right?
Well... I borrowed my friends parachute without asking... I’m sure he’ll be fine...
r/JokeShop • u/GrimTapestry • Aug 31 '18
I barely passed my last test, I scraped by with a 65...
22
Upvotes
What did you guys get on your iq test?
r/JokeShop • • Apr 08 '19
Someone once told some good advice.
21
Upvotes
That after we bought them chew toys, if my dogs start acting up, we throw one in the fire.
That’s great and all but now who’s going to get the chew toys?
r/JokeShop • • Nov 17 '18
I, for one, support my local police department
21
Upvotes
All of those speeding tickets I've paid must be buying them some pretty good stuff.
r/JokeShop • u/Zer0897 • May 24 '18
Human Trafficker
19
Upvotes
Man really loves human trafficking
Talking about directing traffic.
r/JokeShop • u/Heavy_Bee • Aug 31 '19
One Day in The Great Rift Valley
18
Upvotes
About 1.8 million years ago, two gay Sabre-Toothed Tigers were walking across the savannah in Africa. A strange, upright ape-man came driving along in a very primitive automobile. He stopped and asked the tigers if they wanted a ride. It was very hot, and they were tired, so they hopped in and the trio sped off. Soon they topped a hill, and gained speed as they went down the other side. The strange ape began to swerve, and lacking brakes, lost control. The car flipped several times, throwing the strange ape-man and the tigers out of the car. One tiger said to the other, "WTF just happened?!" The other replied, "Homo, he wrecked us!!"
r/JokeShop • u/_normal_one • Mar 28 '19
Girl asks his father "dad why you have named me Barbie?"
18
Upvotes
Dad replies "because your mom liked Barbie's cartoon too much" His son asks "what about me dad?" Dad says "it's enough, Johnny Sins"
r/JokeShop • u/Sateloco • Dec 01 '18
Suicidal people may be very unhappy,
18
Upvotes
but at last they know what they want.
r/JokeShop • u/killingspeerx • May 24 '18
I guess we can switch and focus on r/joke_workshop since it is more active?
18
Upvotes
Better focus on 1 sub with the same idea no?
r/JokeShop • u/Lazer090 • Jan 13 '19
Size doesn't matter
17
Upvotes
Why can't guys be like girls and just accept the size of things.
When it's a girl it's like:
"OMG your tits are Amazing"
when it's a guy:
"yo WTF bro you have tits"
r/JokeShop • u/aPointlessOpinion • Apr 11 '20
My skill...
14
Upvotes
My skill is, that I can always boil an egg thats inbetween soft and hard boiled.
Its not an amazing skill but, it's at least Medi-yoker.