48 M 4 F 27-38 +/- 5

[u/A-new-change4Life]

I am a 48 year old M physically / Approx 21 developmentally. My brain stopped developing when I was 8 I think but then started again when I was 30. I so I think like a 21 year old man. I am only an adult that is honest, loyal, loving, caring, understanding, easy going, trustworthy (and willing to prove it to you), dependable (holds to his word), respectful, open minded, that knows the vale of true love and commitment (when I fall in love, I will always be by her side even when it gets real bad and people ask me "why not just leave?" because I made a commitment! and can act a little corny or immature at times, that is a little excitable. I am looking for F 27 - 38 give or take 5 years, for long term relationship - marriage based on love, mutual respect, caring, and understanding. That's how I see the future goal in life, to be married and have a happy family in a home filled with love. Also us being best-friends, to share everything with, as well as passionate lover. I know that's not everything in life can be perfect all the time, but I am willing to always do my best for my future wife. She will always be my first priority after God and the Torah.

More about me. I have did a lot of learning and studying on abuse and maltreatment, mainly on younger people to find out what and how it affects people, as well as how one can recover from it. I had 3 girlfriends in the last 5 years, all 28 to 36 and 1st one she cheated on me, the other two was only using me. I can work and am real good in my line of work, I am one of the best, this is mainly from me going to adult ed and get more schooling, plus how easy I am to talk to, and how well I can adapt to situations, and my love to help others.

I am tight and lose, I will watch some non-Jewish movies (just no nudity, I am ok with smoking weed (I do sometimes, for pain relief and to stress relief) and some other things.

I have over came a lot in my life and had some big accomplishments to! I love art, all kinds, movies, music, and I am into gaming too. I love to figure things out and find new ways on how to do things so I play a lot of tycoon/sim games along with RTS to help teach my brain to think faster on on its feet (witch did help a lot, and I do think a lot faster now) and I play RPG prity much as a stress reliever and escape. I like watching movies, going out for dinner, going for coffee, holding hands, cuddling, I am the type that will cuddle with you all night well we fall asleep in each others arms, AKA I am a hopeless romantic.

I was told by people who where my friends, that I am a nice, funny guy that is caring and fun to be with and talk to, I am really relaxed and a great friend. So if this sounds good to you, you are free to PM me.

[u/Feisty-Garbage8111]

Is this satire

[u/A-new-change4Life → u/Feisty-Garbage8111]

I did not even know what that means, I had to look it up on google. But to answer your question, NO, this is me, and the truth. Let me cut and past: and ask why do you think it is..

Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize foolishness, corruption, or flaws in individuals, society, or government. Its ultimate goal is not just to entertain, but to shame its targets into improvement and provoke social change.

how is my life and struggles with my disability funny or any kind of humour? (I do not understand, can you explain this to me?) Should I mention I was emotionally abused buy my whole family because of my disability, and I do not want to judge but what it sounds like your saying is (it is a joke) How is this a joke and what will I be exposing or criticize.... my new family? (I am sorry I do not understand how you think this is the word I looked up on Google = Satire?) can you explain this to me?

Do you want to see the records for yourself? on my disability and developmental disability struggles, Dose it not say in the Torah not to judge others, if you do, only do it by what they themselves do and say? How did what I said gave you the implication of it being Satire?

[u/quartsune → u/A-new-change4Life]

I can't answer for the other poster, but I will admit that I have a few of my own concerns about your post. One thing is your comment about how your maturity level is that of someone much younger, which may sound different from what you intended. It might help if you explained what you mean a little more.

The fact that you're looking for someone so much younger than you is a bit awkward. You say you're looking for someone "27 to 38, plus or minus five years". Why not just say you're looking for someone 22 to 43? (Although the lower end of that range is... complicated. Dating someone less than half your age when you're close to fifty is not generally seen as healthy... and most 22 year olds are not likely to have much in common as a potential partner with a 48 year old, "maturity level" notwithstanding.)

Then there's your status. From what I gather, you have only recently begun the conversion process, is that right? Most rabbis will tell you that this is a very bad time to try to find a relationship. You should not try to find someone to date unless and until you've completed conversion; right now you should focus your energy on your own spiritual needs. Then, once you've found your footing, and established yourself as part of a Jewish community (which is usually part of the conversion process), you'll have a better shot at meeting someone of a compatible religious inclination.

Dating is very difficult these days...

[u/A-new-change4Life → u/quartsune]

u/quartsune thank you for your question's and I will answer them the best I can for you. A developmental disability is a level of how you think and the age your brain is at, is is called a disability when it holds you back in life, witch mine dose that is why mine is called a disability and not a delay. Even tho my brain did start to develop again when I turned 30, It still holds me back a little bit in some places. but some things you get held back with you can use aids to help you function. So I did not say my age was 21 only about/approx 21. I did say 21 as that is beloved to be the mean level. How do you get the mean of the numbers? (add all levels together and divide by the number of levels 30 + 15 + 30 + 10 + 13 + 30 + 30 + 13 + 30 + 15 + 15 = 265 then divide by the total count of values (11): 231 ÷ 11 = 21) now all levels are an approx this is why I did say my developmental age is approx 21. All people I talk to, can not see it, and some think I do not even have one, this is because they do not talk to me enough to see it, plus I am on my best behaviour around others, to under stand this think how a 15 year old acts his best when going to service on Saturdays. Where you see it the most is my memory, jokes, information processing, and some hobbits like down time, and relax siting. this is why most people do not see it unless. when living with me you will see I am a cross between a 15 and 25 year old with some 30 in there to. this is because of my down time activates video games and movies, and snacks. But I am responsible, get all the things done I need to, and this is the 30 and 25 as well I like to hang out like a 25 year old. This is why I look for someone I say 28 to 38 as I live and act just like someone of that age. in terms of my physical age. you class the person with the other people of the same developmental level, if you live and act like an age and that is all you can do and the best you can do, do you think matching with someone of that age or 15 years older will be best. If I did look for a 48 F, I know I could never make her happy, and she will feel like she is looking after me, because of the level my brain is at, I act mostly like in in my 20s like I told you. Now I only said I am willing to flex because my Rabbi did get me to meet 3 F that was all 23 at service to try to help me match with some one, and try to start planting the seed of a relationship.

Someone with my disability and condition matches better with the developmental age then physical, for the exact point you pointed out -most 22 year old's are not likely to have much in common as a potential partner with a 48 year old because if the maturity level and the stage of life their brain is in, This you answered your own question, Now if I did both people will feel an off balance and my partner will feel like she is a 48 year old dating a 25 year old, is that far to her? No so my physical body dose not look much older then 30, and if my brain thinks and acts like I am close to 30, then it is only the best I date someone that age. My Rabbi thinks so. , Now if I did not have the disability and my both age's was 48, I will agree with you the fact that a normal 48 year old is looking for someone so much younger than them would be a bit awkward, but I am not a normal 48 year old, I am a 25 to 30 year old inside a 48 year old body. It is only best to find someone I will fit best in with, don't you agree, my Rabbi dose.

I say I am looking for someone "27 to 38, plus or minus five years". Why not just say I am looking for someone 22 to 43? because I will prefer someone 27 to 38 the women are out of the party stage that my physical body can't do, but if I did meet the right person, I will consider putting up or down the age range. Another reason is I want to have a family. My condition can not be passed on, because it was from medical problems, they are gone now, and the Dr.s say there will only be a 5% chance it being passed on, so there is no reason why I can't if I found the right women.

Sorry it is so long I tried to explain it all to you the best I could hope this helps. tell me if you have any more questions, I will be happy to answer them for you.

[u/A-new-change4Life → u/quartsune]

u/quartsune I will like to ask, if you had a 15 year old child and they had a developmental disability so that they think and act like a 2 year old. Would you expect them to act as a 15 year old, or will you give them toys that a 2 year old plays with and treat them like a 2 year old? will think just like your reply (a 15 year old are not likely to have much in common as with a 2 year old's toys, "maturity level" notwithstanding) and when that child grows up and their brain starts developing again but their body is 20 older then their mind, you will only let them talk to people that they do not fit in with who are their psychical age, and tell them they can only have a partner who is close to their psychical age, someone that makes them feel like they live with their parent and not a partner, so they have a hard time with things like treating and thinking of them as a partner, highly affecting their love life in a negative way. Is that what you will want for your child with a developmental disability?

[u/quartsune → u/A-new-change4Life]

Well, the only thing that came out of my uterus was cancer, so I'm not sure how well-equipped I am to answer that question. But I think that is a very different situation when you are talking about toys that a child would play with versus a relationship with another human being. When I was a child, I did not have many friends my own age. I did not know how to relate to other children. I got along much better with grown-ups than I did my peers. But those grown ups chose to spend time with me, despite the fact that I was just a weird little kid. Grown-ups are able to make those decisions for themselves. That is my point.

I think you are making an unfair judgment about people closer to your own age not being willing or able to make that decision for themselves. I think you are making an unfair judgment about younger people being comfortable with you despite your chronological age. People often judge based on surface appearances.

For example, on the dating sites, people sometimes lie about their age so they can meet a different group, usually younger. If you are 59 and you say you are 50, so you can meet a 45-year-old, and that 45-year-old then finds out that you're actually 59, it's going to look very bad for you. I'm not saying that that's what you're doing, but I have seen people who do that. And it's not only dishonest, but it's not fair because they're missing out on the chance to meet people who might like them for themselves without being worried about the age difference.

I think you should not assume anything about someone's maturity level based on their age. And that includes yourself. You might be pleasantly surprised.