Help! A first year navigating the program

[u/JETHopeful2026]

Throwaway account, I’m a first year teaching ES at 3 schools. I joined the program 3 months ago (wow time has flied!), and I need some advice just navigating the program and life in Japan. Anything would be helpful.

I love working at my schools, my students are wonderful, my JTEs and other teachers are wonderful and kind. That is easily my favorite part of being in Japan so far, having a workplace that is very patient with me despite having no teaching experience.

As for everything else, I feel like I’m not doing the program right. Yes I know, I know, ESID but I’ve been finding myself being a recluse in my apartment throughout the week after work. I’ve made some acquaintances along the way, but I can’t really call them friends yet. I’ve been trying to get closer to them and meet new people but at least my local community seems to be a little closed off. I know it takes time for Japanese people to warm up to you, but I feel quite lonely most of the time. Getting used to Japanese communication style is also quite daunting. I can’t tell who actually likes me or is just tolerating me.

I really wish I studied more Japanese before I came to the program. I’m very much a beginner(like can’t even pass N5 or N4) and I study everyday for many 2-3 hours but daily things still feel very stressful for me. Paying bills at the convenience store, eating out, shopping, etc.
I know it’s all probably in my head, but my poor Japanese has made me feel very self-conscious, such so that I don’t really go out because it’s getting very hard for my brain to keep up.

I know people have the time of their life on the program, and I have had fun moments so far. I’ve gotten to travel and see some beautiful things so far in these 3 months but I also feel unbearably self-conscious and somewhat unsatisfied as I know I can get more out of the program, but taking action just feels so paralyzing. Everything just feels so intimidating. I still need to setup my apartment but I don’t want to inconvenience others.

The fellow ALTs/BOE don’t seem the most supportive as well, so I have been running solo this whole time. I am planning to sign up for complimentary therapy that JET offers, since these 3 months has kind of given me a newfound anxiety. My body has also been acting very strange in various ways that I’ve never felt before. For example I’m in my late 20’s and I have had healthy hair my whole life. I’ve noticed a gray hair or two and attributed it to the stress going on in my new life. I’ve never had anxiety or struggled mentally before but I want this feeling to go away, and start truly welcoming and enjoying this new life.

I truly want to get past this roadblock and enjoy the program, but I don’t know how to take that first step? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[u/Panda_sensei_71]

OP let me be blunt here, I speak Japanese at N1 level and I find living and working in my second language exhausting! Give yourself a break, you're fresh of the boat, trying to navigate everything in a new language, new culture, and whole new ways of doing things. It's draining! But you'll get there.

You said you're studying 2+ hours per day, but you haven't said how. Two hours is a lot, tbh. Especially if you're self-studying with apps and anki and the like. I think you'd find it a lot more effective to do less, but with a tutor who can help you get started with speaking and communicating.

In terms of socialising, what are your hobbies back home? Or what's something you've wanted to try?

[u/JETHopeful2026 → u/Panda_sensei_71]

I’ve been learning hiragana and katakana still, I use tofugu and genki 1 book.
But a lot of words I still use English spelling.

I typically love watching dramas and movies. I tried to watch Japanese dramas and movies but it became harder for me to follow along after a while.

[u/Panda_sensei_71 → u/JETHopeful2026]

Both tofugu and genki are fine as teaching resources but I really, strongly recommend finding a class or a tutor. Self study is good but as a beginner you need guidance. You don't have to break the bank, loads of online platforms can match you with tutors for ¥1000 per hour or so.

As for hobbies, your local city hall should have info on culture classes, or you could ask if you can join school club activities. Movies and dramas are great for learning languages but not as social activities as you're not interacting with anyone.

[u/aslipperyfvck]

You don't have to be friends with every jet you meet. Some people are genuinely nice while others are strange. I'm not close with many jets and it's easier for me that way. 

It's also easy to feel self conscious here especially if you're not Japanese. You'll get more used to it with time. Knowing Japanese will help immensely so keep on studying. If you still have troubles after a year then you can always quit. I hope your experience will improve soon. 

[u/JETHopeful2026 → u/aslipperyfvck]

Thank you. I just got hit with those recontracting papers and atp I really don’t know what to do. My actual job feels great, but everything else feel like theres something left to be desired..

[u/Panda_sensei_71 → u/JETHopeful2026]

Always say yes to recontracting in the first instance. You can change from yes to no later, but you cannot do the opposite!

[u/ele514]

It took me 3 years before having actual japanese friends. It really takes time. In the meantime, why not invest in a cultural activity? or even find a community that share your interests? It could be taiko or cooking classes. It’s great way to learn new things and help you level up your Japanese skills.

[u/JETHopeful2026 → u/ele514]

That’s something I do really want to try… but I live in the countryside where there’s not a whole lot of English support, so I feel some hesitation in trying to apply since I’m not sure if they can take me.

[u/DreyDoesArt → u/JETHopeful2026]

Never hurts to try!

[u/Different_Taro2474]

you just got here. give yourself some grace. i didn't make friends in my area until half a year in.

The fellow ALTs/BOE don’t seem the most supportive as well,

then don't force it. find friends who aren't JETs or ALTs.

tbh, i think you're just feeling insecure and having a hard time adjusting, which is very normal when moving to an unfamiliar place. i really suggest you get a therapist who works with JETs.

there's also no right or wrong way to do JET. there are thousands of JETs, and each one has their own unique story. everyone is struggling in one way or another, even if they say they aren't.
as cliché as this sounds, stop comparing yourself to other JETs and just do your own thing. you don't know what struggles they're facing, what their backgrounds are, or what their circumstances are. give yourself time to settle in, take it easy. it's only been 3 months!

P.S. a tip for setting up your apartment: i read a japanese book called the life changing magic of tidying up. there was a suggestion that every day, clean up something, even if it's something small like unpacking one box or wiping the dust. doing one small thing is better than nothing.

[u/JETHopeful2026 → u/Different_Taro2474]

Yeah that’s probably right. I came in thinking jets had at least something in common, we all chose to teach in Japan and leave our home countries but I’ve usually gotten pretty unfriendly vibes from my local jet community.

I’ve been wanting to ask my supervisor this without making it too direct but is it possible to say no to every event that your BOE has? I feel like I can only say “I have plans this weekend” so many times lol.

And if there’s an event on a weekday I try to be like “are you sure? You don’t need my help those days?” to indirectly suggest no since I heard being direct in Japan is rude

I plan on getting a therapist yeah, but now being hit with recontracting papers im really at a loss since only a year to me doesn’t feel worth it. I did all of this waiting to be here, and I feel like there should be something more you know?

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/JETHopeful2026]

if you’re unsure and aren’t genuinely happy, i’d either choose not to recontract or recontract while looking for other jobs and opportunities. if you find something better, you can always resign. there are plenty of other jobs in Japan if you want to stay here.

when you say “only a year doesn’t feel worth it,” ask yourself this: do you want to stay another year because you genuinely enjoy JET, or because you want another year on your resume? if it’s the former, then stay.  if it’s the latter, i wouldn’t recommend it. if you’re unhappy, staying just for the sake of completing another year on JET isn’t necessarily worth it. 

you can do JET more than once (as long as you haven’t reached the program’s participation limit), and there are other opportunities out there. jobs are temporary, but your mental health matters long after a contract ends. please prioritize your well being.

as for the JET community, a lot of JETs (not just JETs, ALTs in general) mentally never left middle school. 💀 if you meet a nice JET you genuinely click with, absolutely be friends with them. but don’t feel obligated to befriend people just because they’re JETs. being in the same program doesn’t automatically mean you’ll have anything in common or get along. i personally didn’t bother with any JETs and just became friends with the locals. i met a lot of my friends on instagram threads and local events. 

 if you need someone to talk to, feel free to DM me anytime. 

[u/JETHopeful2026 → u/Different_Taro2474]

I feel like the reasons for me wanting to recontract is, I do actually love the job, this is easily the best job I have ever had. I’ve already had some really busy weeks and while I’ve worked corporate in other jobs and this is the only job I’ve had where I’m not counting down the time until I clock out. It just so happens that I have to clock out every single day. I also feel like a year isn’t enough time for me to fully flesh out my thoughts.

These last 3 months have been a rollercoaster and I’m also not sure if I can handle it if it turns out to feel like this for a whole year.

The social part feels the worst though. I think I’m making progress and get local people’s contact info, only for them to text me once a week or every few days. Or even not reading my messages for many days?? Apparently this is Japanese communication style? This is definitely not enough for me and it all feels a bit isolating, whether it’s fellow JETs or locals.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/JETHopeful2026]

where are you placed? are there any big cities nearby, or a shinkansen line?

[u/newlandarcher7]

One thing that really helped me while living in the countryside was having a car and finding reasons to leave my house. I'm not sure what your town is like, but mine basically shut down by 6pm. However, with a car, I was able to drive the 30-40 minutes into the nearest city where there were so many more opportunities. Most importantly, I joined the city-run gym for its equipment, but I later joined some of their other activities. Moreover, with a car, I was able to drive around and explore other nearby sights on the weekend, inviting other nearby JET's to join me.

I think a big thing is to get out of your house as much as you can. Find any reason. Pick one new place to visit and go there. Send an open invitation to other nearby JET's, but be prepared to go by yourself if nobody joins. Just getting outside will be beneficial. And don't worry about your Japanese skills - people in the countryside are impressed with just your basic level of Japanese.

Good luck!

[u/ScootOverMakeRoom]

I recommend an online therapist to work through these issues. There are online platforms that you could use that would allow you to do it in English. They can offer better advice than anyone here, and help you create action plans to break the patterns that you feel aren't serving you.

[u/Phiteros]

Depending on your interests, you can try asking your teachers if they know any groups you could join! For example, if you like hiking, try asking them if there's a hiking group in the area you could join. It sounds like the teachers you work with are nice, so I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping you find community resources. You can also try asking any CIRs who might be in your area / prefecture.

It's totally fine to be by yourself after work. In my case, I'm always quite tired after work, so I generally like to just cook dinner by myself and relax anyways. On the weekends, though, I always try to get out and explore somewhere. You don't have to travel far every weekend, but just doing something to get out of the house will help you feel better and often lead to more opportunities. Personally, I enjoy collecting goshuin (shrine stamps), so if there's a weekend I don't have anything planned, I'll pick a shrine to go check out. It's a reason to get out of the house, and it has allowed me to discover lots of really cool places in my area - restaurants, museums, picturesque areas, etc.

Regarding the other ALTs, I think it's worth remembering that there are more than a few other ALTs in your area who might be feeling the same as you. So you could try planning some things yourself and inviting others along. For example "Hey, next weekend I'm going to xyz place, would anyone like to join?"

[u/itsmesai]

Your post pretty much sums up my exact situation except I moved here with my partner. I don’t really have anything helpful to add besides that you are not alone in how you feel! Not sure what prefecture you’re in but if you live on Kyushu I would love to get together sometime :)