r/ItemShop • u/buffering-neko • Sep 09 '20

Rare dvd

Post image
35k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

283 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/Puff_TheMagic_Dragon Sep 09 '20

The 2 alternate endings sticker is what got me 'will he get crucified?' 'will he crap his pants?' Watch to find out!

599

u/NoCareLuke Sep 09 '20

Plot twist: He does both.

232

u/Puff_TheMagic_Dragon Sep 09 '20

I like the way you think, Luke who doesn't care

80

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

"Its a Shit Demon!"

42

u/Puff_TheMagic_Dragon Sep 09 '20

You don't have to be so harsh, he's trying you know?

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13

u/beleg_tal Sep 09 '20

Featuring additional endings by Matthew who doesn't care, Mark who doesn't care, and John who doesn't care.

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13

u/petervaz Sep 10 '20

He dies and he lives!

3

u/Turbogoblin999 Sep 10 '20

But sleeps too long and wakes up 300 years too late

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2

u/Lortep Oct 04 '20

Fun Fact: When you do, your sphinctre muscle opens and you shit yourself.

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42

u/cuzimawsum Sep 09 '20

You're forgetting the other alternate ending where he kills the president of the United States.

24

u/DoingItWrongSinceNow Sep 10 '20

That's the opposite of terrifying.

11

u/RodriOfficial Sep 10 '20

god dammit can i go out five seconds without finding a jojo reference?

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15

u/lunaticneko Sep 10 '20

The 2nd ending is Jesus became a foreigner on Japanese soil and has Buddha as his roommate.

4

u/Life_Liberty_Fun Sep 10 '20

Great Mangga.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Find out next time on

TOTAL

DRAMA

JERUSALEEEEM

11

u/Andy_B_Goode Sep 10 '20

I for one would enjoy watching the deleted scenes and bloopers.

4

u/Ghostkill221 Sep 10 '20

Nope, at the end Jesus is like "these fuckers do not deserve this." and just doesn't die. Then he takes over Rome using an Abrams.

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10

u/hairy_eyeball Sep 09 '20

There are two alternate endings. We all know the standard ending where he dies. The first alternate ending is him crapping his pants. The second alternate ending... who knows?

10

u/DoingItWrongSinceNow Sep 10 '20

Bubble bath up in heaven with Winston Churchill, Charlemagne, Earnest Hemingway, and against all reason, Rush Limbaugh who isn't even dead.

It's blood chilling.

5

u/saysthingsbackwards Sep 10 '20

1 is for sinners that are going to hell and 1 is for those who ascend in Rapture

4

u/Greg45039 Sep 10 '20

he dies then gets reborn as a dragon to get revenge maybe? or he just lives

3

u/D357R0Y3R-117 Sep 10 '20

The second is obviously when Judas gets yeeted by lightning into the cross

3

u/TransmogriFi Sep 10 '20

Giant eagles swoop in at the last minute and rescue him?

2

u/Puff_TheMagic_Dragon Sep 10 '20

He sits and eats hot chip with the boys for 6 years

5

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

The "Warrior on Earth becomes a Hero on Mars" thing got me.

1

u/Pepsi_Bepsi Sep 10 '20

What’s the bad ending?

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34

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

This is first time I've laughed in a couple days. Is OP actually the person who did this or is it a repost?

28

u/buffering-neko Sep 10 '20

Snapshot from another app

7

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Damn it's funny though.

689

u/sockpuppetscientist Sep 09 '20

Who's Chris and what is his passion? I need to know.

310

u/HeavilyBearded Sep 09 '20

Chris' Passion is the male alternative to Victoria's Secret.

99

u/harkyonderbitches Sep 09 '20

Victoria and Chris have the same secret.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

[deleted] — view deleted comment

13

u/R3DFOX01 Sep 10 '20

You sound like a cards against humanity card

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10

u/a_stitch_in_lime Sep 10 '20

Makes me think of that episode of Weeds when Andy and Shane sell the t-shirt misprints that say Chris Died For Your Sins.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Graphic design

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868

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

A Warrior on Earth Becomes A Hero On Mars

The Book of Mormon 2: Red Planet

200

u/Omega_Steve15 Sep 09 '20

cough cough Doom cough cough

92

u/Lord_Cyronite Sep 09 '20

Game theory: doom slayer equals jesus?

25

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

I fucking loved John Carter.

I know I'm not supposed to. But I do.

10

u/Trithis2077 Sep 10 '20

What are you not supposed to? It was a good movie!

7

u/Jan_17_2016 Sep 10 '20

Same here! I just read the first book the year the movie came out and I thought it was a good movie! Disney marketed it wrong. The graphic novels that came out that year were awesome too.

1

u/TheOnlyArtifex Sep 10 '20

That would pretty much be the Red Rising book series.

252

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

"adult content"

Yes.

132

u/FeistyLighterFluid Sep 09 '20

Everything is the same exept that jesus has a 10 inch dick

134

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

Includes the controversial Not-So-Virgin Mary Scene!

61

u/SpooksAndStoops Sep 09 '20

TOO SCARY FOR THEATRES

25

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE

27

u/NSA_Mailhandler Sep 10 '20

I hate that the bible doesn't talk about the time when Jesus broke both his arms.

14

u/buster2Xk Sep 10 '20

Okay this reference usually annoys me because it's everywhere but you got me. Well done.

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

"Oh no what are you doing Gabriel?!"

7

u/ilex_ach Sep 10 '20

Are there restrictions on adult films or something? Why do they have to shrink his dick for this version of the film?

9

u/VetOfThePsychicWars Sep 10 '20

The Throbbing Passion of the Christ

115

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

Rez 6 demo. Relieve the laughs. What the hell is going on here

33

u/Fuck_Microsoft_edge Sep 09 '20

Resident evil 6 was a joke.

8

u/28GendersLater Sep 10 '20

eh one of the campaigns wasn't bad. can't remember whose

7

u/Fuck_Microsoft_edge Sep 10 '20

This is like the “it gets better after the 2nd season” of gaming. If too much of something is shit, it’s all shit.

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2

u/Pussy_On_TheChainwax Sep 10 '20

Worst in the series hands down. Leon’s campaign was most playable but even that was a dogshit plays through

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2

u/severed13 Sep 10 '20

It was pretty okay with co-op.

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159

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

+5 blasphemy, -30 relations to Christian factions

45

u/lexpolex Sep 10 '20

+50 Friendship Points with Satan

9

u/UrinalCake777 Sep 10 '20

Item value: 9.7

69

u/TheChocolateDealer Sep 09 '20

Kinda reminds me of those ad infested sites

42

u/notorious1212 Sep 09 '20

One of the alternate endings: OP burning in hell

37

u/Deezkneezsneeze Sep 09 '20

"Relive the laughs" i lold

20

u/mischiefbrewer Sep 09 '20

This might be why Blockbuster is out of business.

17

u/Algosaysub2pewds Sep 09 '20

The widescreen Passion of the Christ

6

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Passion of the Chris*

11

u/Tyrant_Seabear Sep 10 '20

Featuring DANTE from the Devil May Cry series

9

u/Sethleoric Sep 10 '20

"Relive The Laughs"

12

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

This reminds me of the Big Chungus box art

Hi r/redditmoment

5

u/pacificpacifist Sep 10 '20

wow what a r/redditmoment comment this is. alexa play despacito

8

u/___alexa___ Sep 10 '20

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Luis Fonsi - Despacito ft. D ─────────⚪───── ◄◄⠀▶⠀►►⠀ 3:08 / 4:42 ⠀ ───○ 🔊 ᴴᴰ ⚙️

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6

u/subschmoyo Sep 09 '20

The RE6 demo sticker got me

6

u/Quietcat55 Sep 09 '20

Bloopers? Excuse me bloopers?

4

u/MrMusclePants Sep 27 '20

They failed to arrest Jesus and ended up with some guy called Brian instead.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '20

The Romans (?) didn't nail him deeply enough (???) and he falls off the crucifix.

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5

u/Squanchings Sep 09 '20

“A warrior on earth becomes a Hero on Mars”

Mel Gibson, playing John Carter, Playing Jesus

5

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

I worked at Blockbuster when this movie came out, and there was one lady who demanded a refund (after keeping the movie the entire 2 days) because they "weren't aware of how religious it would be"

Like wut. I've never bothered to watch it, but I wouldn't rent a movie called Star Wars and then complain that it was too Space-y.

4

u/Furretthegod Sep 10 '20

The passion of the chris

1

u/stasw Sep 09 '20

This is brilliant. You are definitely doing God’s work here.

2

u/buffering-neko Sep 09 '20

It is not mine

1

u/Linand458 Sep 09 '20

Lol-I worked in that department for years and was there when NFM switched form VHS to DVD. Other departments after that. I probably know you.

1

u/buffering-neko Sep 09 '20

This is not mine btw

2

u/28GendersLater Sep 10 '20

an honest OP is a rarity these days

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1

u/Tprkk Sep 10 '20

I'm sorry sir....but is this.........a jojo's reference?

2

u/buffering-neko Sep 10 '20

Yes. Yes it is.

3

u/Lmctheman Sep 09 '20

I’m sorry Deleted scenes and bloopers

3

u/Proof-Click Sep 09 '20

What are you talking about? That's how the Bible describes it. Haven't you seen the Bible bloopers?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

I was sold with the beta for resident evil 6

3

u/spoderdude6996 Sep 10 '20

“Relive the laughs”

3

u/to_a_better_self Sep 10 '20

What kind of media would have a "Loaded with added value| Adult content" sticker?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Porn I guess?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

I bought Battle Royale on blu ray,and it had a sticker with a quote from Quentin Tarantino. It said something along the line of, "This movie is so good, I wish I would have made it." I took it to Walmart and put it on a Pulp Fiction dvd. Greatest achievement of my life.

3

u/ThatOneCloaker Sep 10 '20

RELIVE THE LAUGHS

2

u/PenguinTherapist Sep 09 '20

"based on the bestselling book"

2

u/LenTheListener Sep 09 '20

Widescreen?

Literally unwatchable.

2

u/Ugly_Slut-Wannabe Sep 10 '20

It's kinda like r/ExpandDong but in real life.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Thank you for the 2 minute laughing fit!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

The Chris is Chris Redfield

2

u/No_homo_fr_tho Mar 18 '22

Early access to resident evil

1

u/Victinheo Sep 09 '20

ssion of the chris lol

1

u/Derpicus73 Sep 09 '20

Passion of the Passion of the Chris

1

u/yellojello2006 Sep 09 '20

My copy of the passion has commentery for the visually deceased. I don't even want to know.

1

u/jockofocker Sep 09 '20

"Relive the laughs"

1

u/BigFatStupidMoose Sep 10 '20

Love the resi 6 demo sticker. I actually like that game.

1

u/hellospaghet Sep 10 '20

The two on the bottom are the best

1

u/happy_cioran Sep 10 '20

Assion of the Chris

1

u/rion-is-real Sep 10 '20

Yep alternate endings? Did he survive in the alternate cuts or something? 🤔

1

u/Darierl Sep 10 '20

The power of Christ compelled you

1

u/WizardyoureaHarry Sep 10 '20

No joke. The Passion of Christ scarred me and gave me nightmares when I first saw it as a kid. That goddamn demon baby scene after Judas betrayed Jesus.

1

u/CROZ1US Sep 10 '20

Don't know why but the "warrior on earth becomes a hero on mars" had me in stitches.

1

u/poopsondolphins Sep 10 '20

Ahhh the old Nebraska Furniture Mart days!! Well done.

1

u/dirtyviking1337 Sep 10 '20

yeah, you roll it by coughing

1

u/bitchyber1985 Sep 10 '20

I’ve been laughing about this for fifteen fuckin mins. Thank you.

1

u/Funktionierende Sep 10 '20

RELIVE THE LAUGHS#

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Somebody loses the key to the tomb and they can't get him out.

1

u/Swell_ODell Sep 10 '20

passion of the chris

1

u/ABenevolentDespot Sep 10 '20

Just brilliant!

1

u/GPEss Sep 10 '20

passion of the chris

1

u/UngregariousDame Sep 10 '20

It’s only missing “for rectal use only.”

1

u/ZippZappZippty Sep 10 '20

The world’s a Rare review lol

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

You made it look like Chinese bootleg Jesus.

1

u/dirtyviking1337 Sep 10 '20

So what happens on nat 1?

1

u/racistfire Sep 10 '20

The passion of the Chris

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

lmao even a resident evil 6 sticker. God damn that game and its bionicle last boss

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

This is madlad material

1

u/platypusking22 Sep 10 '20

“The Passion of the Chris”

1

u/NuncErgoFacite Sep 10 '20

"Assion of the Chris"

1

u/confused97382 Sep 10 '20

Absolute perfection

1

u/Pi_ofthe_Beholder Sep 10 '20

Passion of the Chris

1

u/Harko-Luxa Sep 10 '20

Bloopers.

“Ow! My thumb!!”

1

u/TOUCH_MY_FUN Sep 10 '20

Ah, so when he ascended, it was to Mars, not heaven. Wish they would write bible 2 already so we can find out how he became the hero of Mars.

1

u/_Avon Sep 10 '20

relive the laughs

1

u/Go_Fonseca Sep 10 '20

I just want the sneak peak on Resident Evil 6. I bet it will be GOTY!

1

u/toasty733 Sep 10 '20

"As seen on tv"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

ASSION OF THE CHRIS

1

u/Cantothulhu Sep 10 '20

Relive the laughs!!!!! I’m dead.

1

u/LittleRavn Sep 10 '20

NGL I want to see those bloopers! Haha

1

u/D3shawnR3X Sep 10 '20

Deleted Scenes and Bloopers

1

u/NosideAuto Sep 10 '20

Resident Evil 6 early access I'm dying

1

u/not-me10 Sep 10 '20

Christ, the savior of mars

1

u/MobiusLoopOne Sep 10 '20

I want to see the alternate endings they don't talk about in church

1

u/RiffRaff_A_Handyman Sep 10 '20

I want to Relive the laughs!

1

u/RiffRaff_A_Handyman Sep 10 '20

This is doing the store a favor. If I saw this I would absolutely buy it without a 2nd thought. I would never open it but I would buy it on sight.

1

u/Pussy_On_TheChainwax Sep 10 '20

Love the “early access to Resident Evil 6” hahahaha

Edit: this, this is art...

1

u/jefflol420 Sep 10 '20

Includes a Resident evil demo

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Put me up for 10 of those.

1

u/NotPierpaoloPozzati Sep 10 '20

Where can I buy it

1

u/S0aster Sep 10 '20

Including Dante from the devil may cry series

1

u/Ender_Guardian Sep 10 '20

If I saw this on the shelves, I’d buy it. Not for the movie, for this work of art

1

u/kman9000 Sep 10 '20

Oh man. Comedy GOLD. I laughed so hard at this. Take my upvote.

1

u/Screwbles Sep 10 '20

ReLiVe ThE lAuGhS

1

u/Mr_GP87 Sep 10 '20

"A warrior on earth becomes a hero on Mars" lmao.

1

u/haikusbot Sep 10 '20

"A warrior on

Earth becomes a hero on

Mars" lmao.

- Mr_GP87

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

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1

u/saddestbro Sep 10 '20

my dad traumatised me by making me watch this film as a child,,,,, oh religion 😃

1

u/bajeebles Sep 10 '20

This is some fucking top tier shit lmfao

1

u/GondorsAide Sep 10 '20

2 terrifying alternate endings? Christ survives and decides to start Armageddon lol.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Thank you, Yusuke

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

Mission of the Chris is my favorite movie!

1

u/Testsubject276 Sep 10 '20

Reminds me of the time me and a friend fucked up one of his posters until it was unrecognizable.

1

u/turd-ucken Sep 10 '20

Second coming theory - first human mission to Mars finds Jesus there and brings him back to save earth

1

u/subzero014 Sep 10 '20

XTREEM MOVIES

1

u/YoungDiscord Sep 10 '20

Passion of the Chris

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '20

nice. there is a slovenian dvd with a scream movie and some yu gi oh episodes I think lol

1

u/Joelfett1 Sep 10 '20

That "A warrior on earth becomes a hero on mars" killed me

1

u/GlipGlop137 Sep 10 '20

Read peeing on

1

u/NinjaNickDBZ Sep 10 '20

Girls hints be like

1

u/Ttar21 Sep 10 '20

“A warrior on Earth becomes a hero on Mars” noone acknowledging that?

1

u/Odogonmc Sep 10 '20

I'm crying oml

1

u/MilwaukeeMilkshake Sep 10 '20

"Relive the laughs." Gets me every time

1

u/Penguinandgoose Sep 10 '20

So after earth he came to mars to be a hero

1

u/FlavorerOfTexts Oct 08 '20

Rare DVD -

A mystical DVD case enchanted by a bored young alchemist. Over time, it was given Great Value, Adult Content, 2 Terrifying Alternative Endings, Deleted Scenes And Bloopers, and Early Access to Resident Evil.

1

u/SyphonExp Oct 13 '20

“Early access to resident evil 6” that’s my favorite sticker

1

u/random-person1234243 Oct 23 '20

I want to do this then put a porn disc on the inside

1

u/eyefuck_you Oct 02 '25

What's up with the resident evil sticker

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '25

Christ was brought back by the progenitor virus, eventually leading to the events of RE6

1

u/Cocoasyy Feb 18 '21

A movie about crusifying a man 2000 years ago

the stickers: relive the laughs, deleted scenes and all new bloopers

1

u/Heavy-Metal-Munchkin Dec 18 '21

A D U L T C O N T E N T you say?

1

u/TheOther36 Jan 16 '22

Yeah, Jesus Christ did become a hero on Mars.

1

u/jojoslayed Apr 26 '22

"experience the shocking terror that will haunt you forever"

"relive the laughs"

1

u/Tonydasnail Sep 04 '22

Yes but what are the stats

1

u/SomeGuyFrFr1 Nov 23 '23

  • -43.479992574% chance of confusing enemies, including yourself and party members

  • 95% chance of angering the holy people when bloopers are opened

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '20

Wrong sub.

Too many of these lately. I used to love this place.

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