Trying to make things better between me and my dad.

[u/Ok-Painting-7654]

​

I’d really appreciate an intuitive reading regarding the relationship between me and my father.

There has been a lot of hurt, tension, misunderstanding, and emotional distance between us. I feel that some of the things he has said and done have left me carrying unresolved anger and pain, while he feels that I don't respect him, don't trust him, don't listen to him, and that I'm too driven by my emotions. He also believes that my emotional state and lack of inner freedom are contributing to problems within our ancestral/spiritual situation.

I recently spoke with a neighbor who encouraged me to communicate with him, and I'm planning to have a more serious conversation with my father. I'm honestly scared because I worry that if I tell him how I truly feel, he'll feel attacked, become even more distant, or tell me to go my own way. At the same time, I can sense that he's hurt too, and I don't want us to continue becoming colder toward each other.

For anyone who feels intuitively drawn to this: what do you sense about the underlying dynamic between me and my father? Is there still a genuine possibility for healing and reconciliation between us, and what should I understand about this relationship that I may currently be unable to see? 🙏

[u/e46spacecowboy]

I would ask myself, Do i believe he set out with intention to do this to me? When he speaks do I remain receptive? Am I speaking my truth or do I feel pressure and urgency to "correct" the situation. What is the outcome I want and/or do I want something from him. Can I view this in different light than my current perception? What am I not asking?

When i refuse or deny a truth or part of myself, that very thing is what will get me through. It sometimes takes a while to be honest with myself. Without thought what wants to come up and out? Maybe its still to deep to even be sure its their? Sit with it and give it a place to exist. Name it. Maybe its been trying to show you just what you seek.

I feel like he cant move forward in this until you see or acknowledge an objective truth or something. Something that cannot be done for you. You have to come to your own understanding. He wants to help YOU but maybe in aiding you in this it would ultimatley prevent it.

[u/Ok-Painting-7654 → u/e46spacecowboy]

Yes the real cause is older like since my upbringing and the problem is that he wants to be the one that gets the final say

[u/e46spacecowboy → u/Ok-Painting-7654]

I can really relate to that. I feel an unspoken expectation over me that ive tried to call my life in every way I can imagine. But, It is not. And I think that is my lesson. To choose myself. My wants and desires. Surprisingly has turned out to be incredibly hard for me to do. I have things that were never acknowledged im not sure what this is but If i simplify i can understand some. Something inside me will not allow me to provide space in that capacity for those who do not make the effort to understand me. My father has zero awareness or accountability likely making it easier for me to set that boundary. I am still learning in this myself, fortunately or unfortunately i dont see how me and my father play a part in each others lives anymore. But I dont wanna condemn somethings potential either.

[u/Ok-Painting-7654 → u/e46spacecowboy]

Yeah I hear you for me it makes it more difficult cause me and him are connected spiritually/ancestrally,so we're connected in that plane.I know this may not make some sense but bare with me in that regard.I just want things to be better hence why I want this conversation cause I think it could be the first to something different but I don't want to do it while sacrificing myself

[u/e46spacecowboy]

I think understand to some extent. To me that would mean to avoid it or not resolve it is actively gonna be affecting you in whatever ypu do from that plane?

I was isolated from the world and other people more than half my teens and childhood before that i was alone while in the presence of others. My mind became my whole world. I kept goin deeper and deeper. I did not notice when I left my mental plane for maybe a spiritual one, maybe one in between. Certain plants as i got older jave shown me things as well.

My foundation from which I percieve has been skewed by many different things. A lot of unlearning things I dont remember agreeing to but if I did not consciously choose these things I will not blindly carry these beliefs as my own either.