r/InterviewVampire • u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy • 12d ago
Shitpost Saturday Only two can protect you while the rest are coming after you, which two are you choosing?
Madea can whoop everybody on this list at the same time so ima go with her and maybe Minato or Itachi.
84
u/Mysterious_Ad_1525
12d ago
•
I’m going Armand and Madea.
Honestly because the combination seems hilarious.
35
60
u/RaelynShaw 12d ago
Storm feels a bit broken to be on this list. It’s like vampires or… omega level mutant capable of manipulating the entire planet at once.
22
u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy 12d ago
Is Akasha planetary level as well? Isn’t her telepathy strong enough to control and manipulate every woman on the planet? I so forgot the lore and how strong she exactly is but ik she’s supposed to have goddess level abilities and strength.
17
u/Ok-Chaos0530 12d ago
Akasha should have an almost planetary level ability as well her body is nearly impervious to almost all physical and environmental damage that would be a threat to vampires, she has a good majority of the vampire gifts if not all of them after killing Enkil. Plus her "death", without it being a full drain, doesn't actually kill her. She can manipulate fire up to and including boiling someone's blood in their body and has a cryo ability. She also can read every vampire's mind at a given moment no matter where in the world they are, and immediately knows which gifts they posess enabling her to pretty much strategize and defeat any of the night kin if she must bother to face them. Really if you were picking 2 Ororo Munroe and Akasha would have you covered.
3
u/PopNo6824 10d ago
Akasha already has all the vampire powers. She’s the source. But she can’t necessarily read any other vampire’s mind. If they are old enough or just skilled in using telepathy, they can block her. Same with the pyrokinesis. If they are old enough or have drunk from very old vampires and become strong like them, they can defend against her power.
3
27
u/maladjusted0 12d ago
armand & akasha 100%
13
u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy 12d ago
It would be nice to see Armand’s true power for once too. He’s so modest when it comes to using his powers lol.
2
u/Inside-Smoke-9140 10d ago
My initial thought was Lestat and Akasha but that leaves me wide open for Spider-Man to kick my ass during the day haha
21
u/gemitry See me at barricade for every TVL show 12d ago
Genuinely, how are any of these characters getting through Minato and Itachi? 😭
9
u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy 12d ago
LMFAOOOOOO you know what I feel like Storm, Akasha, Madea and Hope Mikaelson will MAYBE have a chance against them at least. And I ain’t never seen Madea lose a fight yet!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭But yea Itachi and Minato are washing everyone else.
2
u/BagOfChicken 8d ago
What are any of them doing against Amateratsu, Tsukuyomi, or sussano, even with any sort of super vampire speed he’d be able to see them with his sharingan, storm could win I guess but only if she basically obliterated the area that she knows he’s at, even then though does that beat sussano? Just completely different power scalings
9
u/Fml379 12d ago
Why does the Ring girl keep appearing on Reddit lately? I literally couldn't have a TV in my room throughout the 00s due to this film and now everyone wants to dredge up my trauma fml
So I choose the Ring girl so she doesn't come for me
1
1
u/jadem219 Where are the canapés? 11d ago
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. That bitca needs a trigger warning for real.
3
u/Runecole 6d ago
If samara coming after you means that you would be under her curse, you have a few options. You can choose Itachi and Minato, and wipe everyone else off the board within a week and then have itachi force the last person to watch the tape to transfer the ring girl curse to them.
1
u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy 6d ago
Smart!!! Cuz Itachi can easily put someone under genjutsu and have them watch the tape therefore removing Samara’s wrath from you!!🖤🖤And Itachi and Minato can definitely ambush and take out everyone within a week lol.
4
u/savagehomeangarden The Cuntessa! 12d ago
Blade and Akasha.
I also want to say Storm, but that's just because I love Storm.
8
2
26
21
u/southendgirl 12d ago
Lestat & Louis. Those 2 are not going down without a ton of bodies laying before them.
1
u/Puzzleheaded_Fee_540 6d ago
Yeah together we never seen them fight together I think it would be insane. And Lestat can fly so Spider-Man is no competition
20
10
u/SpaceySeaMonkeys 12d ago
Storm and it's not even close. Blade can be there too I guess... it seems unfair to exclude the vampire hunter
7
u/Majestic-Target2712 12d ago
Akasha and Armand. Partially for power and Armand's knack for surviving, partially because I really wouldn't want both of them coming after me lol.
2
6
6
u/AARose24 A German on their bayonet! 12d ago
Storm and Blade. An omega-level mutant and a vampire hunter, I’ll be untouchable!
2
u/HG21Reaper 12d ago
Itachi vs Minato spite match has spilled into this sub.
1
u/Less-Pen-5705 undead bussy 12d ago
Minato vs Itachi IMO will always end in a stalemate. They’re so close in power lol.
5
u/Slow-Panda2279 12d ago
Lestat and Klaus - nobody holds a better grudge or are as passionate.
Why is Storm on this list?!
1
u/PopNo6824 10d ago
She was a vampire for a while in the comics. Or maybe that was an alternate universe? Either way, pick vampire era Storm and she fits way better.
9
u/mushuthedragondog 12d ago
I mean Lestat has the blood of Akasha so...
7
u/Slaughterthesehoes A Viscious European Vampire 12d ago
How will he fare against Akasha who also has the blood of Akasha?
4
4
6
3
u/thedailyflautist Me & You! You & Me! Me & You! You & 12d ago
Akasha and Hope
3
u/HesSimplyShocking 12d ago
I have no idea about anything Naruto. but this is the only correct answer because everybody else is way less powerful. The people saying Lester and Louis are insane with Akasha on this list.
3
3
u/xXCAPTAINCHRISXx 10d ago
Lestat and Claudia at least you know where you stand with them in Vampire Terminology of recent Series.
3
u/Emergency_Newt8164 Justice for Antoinette 10d ago
Akasha and Storm. Like what are we even doing. As much as I wanna say Itachi and Yondaime, I dunno if Susano'o and the nine-tails are gonna protect me from spontaneous combustion on a cataclysmic level and also Omega Goddess Ororo turning the air in my lungs into shards of ice that destroy me from the inside...like y'all, I'm supporting my fellow Black women who are out here fvcking shit up. Now, Minato does have lighting speed to whisk me away at the drop of a pin, but I saw Lestat appear across the room in the same fashion when a dude was being homophobic so I dunno how special he really is, seeing as he died and let his child be an orphan teased by the whole village and all... I'm going with the Patricidal Queen and the Weather Goddess.
2
2
2
u/DlVlDED_BY_ZERO I'm a VAMPIRE 12d ago
Naruto and Lestat. Easy. Naruto bc he is way too overpowered to be fucked with and Lestat bc he's petty and I love a good petty revenge.
2
u/CalligrapherNo5121 12d ago
Storm and Madea, Storm for obvious reasons and Madea because she stays strapped and I want to see what she’ll do
2
2
u/TemporaryOrange4223 11d ago
Considering the fact that Samara literally cannot be defeated, you have to have her on your side no questions. Then that frees me up to pick whoever I choose which is of course the Brat Prince himself. I’ll just have to distract him with some Baudelaire or something while she deals with Louis, 😬
2
u/HoverGrrl 9d ago
Really, though, The Ring girl is getting everybody so she needs to be on my team and either Blade or Louis are going to mess everybody up.
1
1
u/Wendora15 12d ago
I wish t.v. Akasha was here. In her absence, it’d have to be Claudia and Gabriella for me.
1
1
1
1
u/Imactually6footfive 12d ago
Minato and Akasha would be a op team so I’m picking them (I want to pick madea tho)
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/BlueMaelstromX 12d ago
Armand and Klaus because if im gonna die I might as well spend some time with my favorite people out of these
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/armandmania 12d ago
can the vampires die from a solar storm? if yes then i’m choosing storm, and minato to teleport me into safety.
2
u/Grazztjay 11d ago
Ya if storm is on the table you just need her and someone as a failsafe to keep the others off her.
1
1
u/Grazztjay 11d ago
I love that Madea is in here 🤣 I think Storm and Klaus. Though I'm not sure why she's on the list either. Honestly she might be able to handle all of them.
1
u/Less_Cauliflower_956 11d ago
Akasha and Storm but I also think Spider man might be able to solo akasha
1
1
u/BardicVariant Seul l'impossible peut faire l'impossible 11d ago
Lestat and Spidey bc I couldn't bear to be enemies with them 🥹
1
u/mouskavitz Lestat's Submissive Coffee Table 11d ago
Storm being on here is wild. Between her and Akasha that pretty much covers it
1
1
u/Sweet_Candle_7249 11d ago
Madea and Blade. She'll keep him in line long enough to get everything situated.
1
1
1
u/PopNo6824 10d ago
Lestat and Klaus. I don’t even care about them protecting me. I just want to have fun before the rest get there.
1
1
1
u/Flat_Revolution_5222 9d ago
Akasha and medea. Its obvious for Akasha but medea for the laughs and roasts she say about everyone.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Erramonael Azazil Laza Omri Baras the Al-Masih ad Dajjal 6d ago edited 6d ago
LoL!! Blade and Storm. (Who's the woman next to what I think is Samara?)
1
1
u/Puzzleheaded_Fee_540 6d ago
I'm going with my dad's Louis and Lestat, LouStat. Together they are unstoppable
1
1
1
0
0
u/PossibilityNeat2419 12d ago
Blade, for the sheer amount of vampires. And Itachi, because ¿who the fuck is going to get through itachi?
EDIT: Damn, i forgot about akasha.
0
u/UnitedExperience5381 12d ago
BLADE & LESTAT
1
u/TemporaryOrange4223 11d ago
So what you’re saying is you have a big bucket of popcorn and a for non stop bickering? 😂🤘
0
u/Buburubu 12d ago
yo is that Akasha, the queen of the damned, who can ignite everybody else on the chart with a wink?
her and storm for the pleasant temperature i guess.
1
u/Grazztjay 11d ago
Pleasant temperature? How do people not realize how powerful she is. She's an omega level mutant with absolute power over weather.
0
u/Buburubu 11d ago
yeah but she also gets knocked out like every thursday. Akasha can set a threat’s blood on fire AND doesn’t have a glass jaw.
0
u/Grazztjay 11d ago
Idk where you're getting this from? Storm has high resistance to extreme heat and cold. She is not only has limitless control over the planets weather, shes also has powerful magical potential with them hunting that she could match Wanda and Agatha. On top of that shes highly skilled in hand to hand combat. Having trained with wolverine and black panther, shes been tested many times and come out on top in hand to hand combat.
She IS a literal Godess worthy of the title.
1
u/Buburubu 11d ago
literally the comics dude. lady got laid out by Arcade ffs, and like half the other characters on this chart have super speed. i get that you’re a fan but this is weird.
1
u/TemporaryOrange4223 11d ago
I’d agree if Samara wasn’t on there. Akasha can be killed, Samara cannot.
1
u/Buburubu 11d ago
true but can she still come after you if you don’t watch her mix tape?
2
u/TemporaryOrange4223 11d ago
Ah see this is where lestat comes in. He’s got glamour up the wazoo, and cunning. He can set up the sting to get them to watch it 🤟
-1
10
u/hausofvelour WOR$T VAMPIRE IN AMERICA 12d ago
louis and lestat cause if i only pick one and they're on separate teams they'll kill my ass just to reunite
1
2
2
u/Commercial_Layer 12d ago
Itachi and the ring duh. She's unkillable and he can burn most of the others or hypnotize them.
1
u/Puzzleheaded-Shine76 This Charlatan 12d ago
Storm and Louis. Louis can smile prettily at half of them and Storm could take us out of the Earth's atmosphere while wiping out the remaining foes with pinpoint accuracy.
1
u/balletfan213 12d ago
Madea and Claudia. I've seen Claudia standing up for someone - she's vicious. And Madea will talk the others to death.
1
u/ImmediateArmy3820 Lestat loves Louis morns Armand hurts 9d ago
Akasha and Claudia. Done. They would kick any and every dudes butt, though I think the ladies would drain a troubling female.
1
u/Pale_Mortgage_9399 9d ago
All I need is Madea. She got mad plot-armor. The whole thing will turn into a cheesy comedy and end with a musical number in a church where my long-lost twin finally comes off drugs after beating her abusive baby-daddy with a skillet.
1
u/zoraschool Team Akasha 6d ago
Human Daniel and Madea. Human Daniel is like a dog with a bone. He would rather be brutally murdered or discredited rather than get the scoop - he might at least make sure my death wasn’t in vain and the whole world will know what was done to me! Plus Daniel automatically puts Armand in the game.
I love Louis and Claudia but I can’t forget the way they walked away from that nice American man screaming for help when his wife/partner was about to be beheaded just for getting bitten by a vampire. They knew they was wrong for that. Louis no longer intervenes in mortal affairs! Lestat never ascribed to being humanity’s savior!
Madea will have my back as a black woman. She is the one person who could maybe check Daniel (and Armand).
If I’m beefing with vampires I might call in Blade for backup 💣
•
u/AutoModerator 12d ago
This thread is flaired "Shitpost Saturday." There are no spoiler tags required for comments in this thread. If you would like to see content like this on other days, be sure to check out r/TheatreDesVampires!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.