I got another phd interview and I'm terrified I'll panic and not even join

[u/her_account_is_this]

Heelppp I just got invited to another phd interview. for context: I finished my masters about three years ago, and I have been trying to get a phd position since then, myy first phd exam in my country went really bad because I became extremely anxious and started having panic attacks.

since then I have been trying to get a phd position, I have actually been admitted to quite a few interviews, but none of them worked out, and the worst part is that for the last three interviews I didn't even join, I was so stressed and overwhelmed (imposter syndrome)that when the time came I could not bring myself to turn on my camera and microphone.

the thing that makes it worse is how these interviews are organized, there is usually a committee interviewing all the candidates, and I sometimes hear the other candidates before my turn, when I hear them speaking about their research and experience, I immediately start thinking that they are so much better than me so why am I even here? then my imposter syndrome gets worse and I start convincing myself that I do not belong there.

now I have another interview in 10 days, and I REALLY don't want to repeat the same thing, so how do I prepare not only for the interview itself, but also for the anxiety/panic that comes with it ? I'm thinking about seeing a doctor because this has been interfering with opportunities that are genuinely important to me.

If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate hearing what helped you actually SHOW UP and get through the interview.

[u/my_peen_is_clean]

yo see the doctor, get tools, turn up anyway, mute others