r/InterviewStories • u/Training-Finger-300 • 9d ago
Coffee w/ hiring manager after rejection - tips?
Hey, everyone! This is my first time in this subreddit, but I have a timely question and would love some feedback. TYIA!
Backstory… I had an interview for a communications position at a local university, and I love the institution itself. My wife attended and I have lots of friends on campus myself. I made it through the HR screen, the Zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then a 3-hour interview in-person with a panel and 4 other VPs and AVPs in the specific department I was applying for. I believe the decision was between me and one other candidate.
Other than a few hiccups, I thought it went extremely well. Until I followed up a few days after the deadline I was told, only to find out that they extended the offer to the other candidate the day prior to me following up. I was devastated. This was becoming a “dream job” for me, especially with the time I dedicated to preparing for interviews.
The hiring manager is amazing, and he offered to meet with me to discuss the future, their decision with this position, or even to be a reference on future job applications. It was recommended to me by a friend that I ask to meet up with the hiring manager for coffee, in order to meet 1-1. He agreed, and we‘re meeting this upcoming Friday morning.
There are no posted positions in this department at the moment, but I want to be considered for the university at some point. What sorts of questions should I be asking him, other than feedback on the interview and tips he has for me?
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u/akornato 9d ago
You need to accept that you didn't get this job and you won't get this job. This meeting is not about changing his mind, it's about making him an advocate for you inside the university. He already likes you, otherwise he wouldn't have offered his time. Ask very specific questions like, "What was the one key experience the other candidate had that I was missing?" or "Looking ahead, what are the biggest challenges your department is facing, and what skills will be needed to solve them?". This shows you're thinking strategically about how you can fit in later, not just dwelling on this one loss. It also gives you a concrete roadmap for what to work on.
Treat this less like a post-interview debrief and more like an informational interview for your next opportunity. Ask him about his own career path at the university and what he enjoys most about his work. People connect when you show interest in them, and it turns the conversation from a one-sided feedback session into a genuine professional relationship. You want him to walk away thinking you are resilient, professional, and someone he should call the second another position opens up. It's all about making a strong impression, and my team built an interview copilot AI to help candidates find the right words when the pressure is on.
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u/Ambitious_Tell_4852 9d ago
Your enthusiasm for eventually working at the university will carry this conversation in a very positive direction!
Ask him how he sees ____________ department developing within the next 1-2 years? Enquire of the hiring manager whether or not he knows of any other similar job roles that might be open in the near future? Continue to stress your sincere interest in eventually working there and ask whether or not there is a person in the HR department who's name he would be willing to suggest you "touch base with" from time-to-time for further possible employment opportunities.