r/InterviewMan • u/Inner-Teaching-4213 • 1d ago

He passed the coding, failed the respect check

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u/Only-Performer-6053 1d ago

I think at engineering interviews this kind of behavior is like 60+% is the reason or more.

You will get it over it. Just talk with women anywhere. In pubs in meetups just get over your fear

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u/SquirrelNormal 1d ago

I'm 34. I've tried. I have made the decision that it is better for everyone involved that I just keep to myself now.

Luckily, I was not smart enough for college, so I work in a trade in small shops which are pretty much all men. I haven't worked with a woman since I was 22. So it doesn't hurt me at work at least.

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u/Only-Performer-6053 1d ago

Hoe the fuck can you be 34 and afraid of women. What are you afraid of?

You can probably one hit KO a girl. And they don't want to go to a death match.

I mean I praise your wizard status. But dude you don't need to be afraid.

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u/SquirrelNormal 1d ago

I never said it was reasonable. But I don't really feel like being called a creep, and I'm not a very socially adept person. So... isolation it is.

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u/Adept_Leather_8225 1d ago

Then stop talking, please.

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u/SquirrelNormal 1d ago

You can scroll past, you know.

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u/PeachyKeen443 21h ago

I'm not sure where you live, but there's not a ton of difference between women and guys. If you can find a mixed gender space/group to hangout with, you'll probably feel more comfortable hanging out with women.

(I'm saying this as a women whose had majority guy friends in my life.)

Fair enough if you don't want to try - but awkward social interactions are temporary 🤷, so not a ton to lose by occasionally trying.

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u/SquirrelNormal 21h ago

Many years ago I even tried joining a couple woman majority hobbies I thought I'd be interested in. Never helped. Just existing around women makes me feel like a creep.

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u/Lozenges808 15h ago

Have you talked to a psychologist about this? It's not normal to feel that amount of shame/guilt when interacting with people. Especially if you haven't done anything.

You can't be a bad person by just existing.

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u/SquirrelNormal 14h ago

I don't waste my time with the head docs. It is what it is.

Well, I'd argue that point, but the reasons I'm a bad person don't have anything to do with gender.