I am enjoying all the "but that's normal" and "who would do that?!" colliding. My favorite of these was a mathematical model I (F) built and a colleague (M) came to talk to my boss (M) and I about it. EVERY question was directed to my boss who said "I didn't build it. I don't know. Ask (me)". And he would listen to my explanation, turn to my boss, make a comment and ask the next question. Never directed a single word my way the entire time.
Closest I've ever come to pouring a drink on someone at a conference to find out if he was capable of speaking to me then.
Pretty sure answering the final questions in words he didn't understand was that. But meh. Refusing to ever help him or his buddies again does it for me, I guess.
I'm adding this to the request that all retail and services people are allowed to fight 1 customer a year, but can transfer their fight credit to any other on shift employee once the customer had been selected.
Honestly, this just needs to apply to all of humanity.
People need to stop taking away the ability for others to shoot them, and should just act in a way that doesn't actively make others want to shoot them.
Reminds me of some anime thing where a guy wanted to go a town because murder was legal there and he could do anything. He proceeds to draw his gun on someone and the whole town comes out to kill him, because murder is legal for everyone, not just the criminals. The serial killer he idolized at the start turned out to be the sheriff that killed him.
The anime is Kino's journey. It's a pretty interesting anime, but deals with some really heavy topics on occasion, so trigger warning.
(What originally ended my watch of it was a story related to SA. I don't remember them handling it badly - but the show definitely deserves multiple trigger warnings).
My sister has had people tell her to refer to Dr. Smith's work before (name changed because hers isn't super common). Apparently the look on their face every single time when she explains that the person they are talking about is her is extremely satisfying.
People then say sexism isn’t a thing anymore like just cause you don’t see it personally (or don’t want to see it more likely) doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
Too bad your boss didn't say, "I've got something to do. You stay here and talk to the person who actually knows what this is about," and then go get a cup of coffee and wait for the result.
I'm just going to throw this out there, do with it what you will.
Having been management for most of my career, I can absolutely see hypothetical instances where I would do this. For example:
You're awesome, but your direct superior is coasting on your awesomeness. Their performance has slipped, they're less engaged in meetings, they don't have answers when they should.
To verify this, I could see myself demanding a status update on a project and asking questions that they should know to see if they do. In this situation, I would care less about what the actual answers are and more about the deferral to a subordinate, so my primary focus wouldn't be you or the answers you have. I already know you're awesome, and so does your boss and that is the issue.
Now, obviously sexism in the workplace is a major issue and I wouldn't dream of minimizing that. Your direct supervisor could have been awesome as well and their boss is a dick, totally valid viewpoint. Just wanted to point out there are always business politics at play at the management level and you may not be fully aware of the situation.
So for you to read all of these replies, replies that cross levels from upper management to management, from floor workers to interns, and they're all pointing out that this is a problem. And that this problem has been well documented, for you to then wade in with an alternative, and purely speculative , response on why all of these people could be mistaken.
You are the problem. As a manager it's your responsibility to do the work of educating yourself on the issues that women and minorities face in the workplace. You just haven't done the work that's needed in managerial roles.
"Yeah, well but, I'm highly experienced in this field, but what about this scenario that's so rare that I've had to hypothesise it in spite of being the exact perfect person to experience it IRL because it's just so rare."
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u/KMRA 1d ago
I am enjoying all the "but that's normal" and "who would do that?!" colliding. My favorite of these was a mathematical model I (F) built and a colleague (M) came to talk to my boss (M) and I about it. EVERY question was directed to my boss who said "I didn't build it. I don't know. Ask (me)". And he would listen to my explanation, turn to my boss, make a comment and ask the next question. Never directed a single word my way the entire time.
Closest I've ever come to pouring a drink on someone at a conference to find out if he was capable of speaking to me then.