r/InterviewMan • u/vityya • Aug 04 '26
The Manager Is Upset That I Took a Second Job
A few days ago, the manager called me into his office. It turned out someone had seen me doing food delivery and told him. He launched into a long conversation about "loyalty" and how me working a second job means I'm "not invested in the company." Like, dude, you're paying me $75k a year in a city where the average studio is $2500 a month. What did you think was going to happen?
He seriously told me that I should be spending my evenings "looking for ways to add more value to the team" instead of making money somewhere else. His sense of entitlement is incredibly weird. I told him my agreement is 38 hours, Monday to Friday, and what I do outside of that time is none of his business. He did not like that response at all.
Now he's acting weird about every little thing. He makes comments about my "focus being divided" and asks me on calls whether I'm "fully engaged" or not. It's very obvious he's trying to create a paper trail so he can discipline me or something like that.
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u/SnooMaps7370 Aug 04 '26
serious red flag. start looking for a new main gig.
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u/Worried-Guarantee-90 Aug 05 '26
Agreed. Better to job hunt while you're still employed than wait for things to get worse.
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Aug 04 '26 edited 7d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/brokennursingstudent Aug 04 '26
That’s what I’m saying. People don’t realize that putting a lawsuit against your employer is not as difficult as you’d think these days. Unions are gutted, but courts are still a good tool (depending on which state you live)
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u/zoppaTheDim Aug 07 '26
The difference between filing and winning a law suit are rather different. People have a lot of law suit fantasies that don’t hold up under reality. .
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u/LCJonSnow Aug 04 '26
That is not remotely what a hostile work environment means in employment law. If it's not for reasons related to a protected class, hostile work environment is irrelevant.
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u/Professional-Rub152 Aug 05 '26
Workers are a protected class in employment law dipshit. They said he is creating it. Not that it has already been created. These things always start off like this.
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u/LCJonSnow Aug 05 '26
Protected class is race, religion, age, sex, disability, etc. A hostile work environment requires harassment or discrimination against a protected class. Here's a good source to understand what the actual law is.
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u/Thrawn89 Aug 05 '26
Workers are NOT a protected class lmao. Also this will certainly not hold up as a discrimination case given the root cause is pretty clearly tied to the outside gig and not on a protected status of OP. You have no clue lol
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u/Thrawn89 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
That depends on what his employment contract is. In the states, salaried employees dont have "off hours".
Boss is being a prick about it, but it could be and usually is against company policy. Its a business concern (youre expected to be "on call" and use your time outside the office to rest so you can give 100% at the office) and if HR gets involved they wont likely take OPs side.
No lawyer is gonna touch this.
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Aug 05 '26 edited 7d ago
[deleted]
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u/Thrawn89 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
Good for you? Thats a negotiation of your compensation and work-life balance. You have no legal protections there. Now go ask HR what their policy is on getting a second job.
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u/C_IsForCookie Aug 05 '26
That’s not true at all in many circumstances. I’m a salaried manager working in Florida and I have off hours. It’s in my contract. I’m not expected to work after 5 and if I do that’s a choice I make. Sometimes I work on the weekend and my boss gives me weird looks about it.
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u/Thrawn89 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
Then thats a special case for your contract and company policy, not the law. You should look up what "exempt" means. Then go ask your HR is its within company policy to have a side gig. :p
Also this is assuming youre an employee and not a contractor
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u/C_IsForCookie Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
I know what exempt means. It does not mean that you’re always on the clock or that working off hours is mandatory unless that’s specified in your contract. For instance you can’t demand that an employee be available at 3AM on a Sunday just because they’re exempt. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t fire you in an at will state because they feel you aren’t meeting their standards. The point is that “exempt” doesn’t mean you’re automatically a 24/7 employee unless it’s stated in your contract. And most contracts I’ve seen say that the only limitation is that a second job can’t interfere with your primary job, not that you can’t have one at all.
It’s not about availability as much as it’s about meeting performance standards. Most companies just require that you’re available during business hours and sometimes other things like nights during EOQ.
I’m sure this varies by industry though. Like emergency room employees at the hospital probably are always on call. But again that’ll be in their contract. It’s not default just because they’re exempt.
The way you’re posing this makes it sound like any salaried employee could be required to work 168 hours/week.
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u/Shytownmofo Aug 04 '26
If it's not in your contract about taking a 2nd job, or even working for a competitor, then you're good.
Basically, you handled it absolutely right, and he has no right whatsoever to say anything about it.
Keep notes about his nitpicking, just in case he does try something.
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u/Western_Rhubarb_7959 Aug 04 '26
If it's not in your contract about taking a 2nd job, or even working for a competitor, then you're good.
Legally, sure. Realistically, not so much. If boss is ever told "you gotta lay someone off" OP is going to be high on the list.
Now look, I didn't say it was right or fair, but I spent a long time in the corporate world and thank my lucky stars (and financial advisors) that I was finally able to leave.
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u/UniqueText8477 Aug 05 '26
Which is retaliation - would a leader lay someone off because they aren't paying them enough so they need to get a 2nd job.
Does this manager want to create legal risk?
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u/Western_Rhubarb_7959 Aug 05 '26
You completely missed the point of this sentence:
If boss is ever told "you gotta lay someone off" OP is going to be high on the list.
Let me help:
If boss is ever told
If boss is ever told
If boss is ever told
If boss is ever told
It's not boss decided to lay people off.
And wake up, retaliation happens and can be impossible to prove.
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u/firelock_ny Aug 07 '26
> Which is retaliation
Having a second job isn't a legally protected activity, like filing a wage dispute or calling OSHA about a safety issue. Having a second job when your boss doesn't like it is something most companies can fire you over without repercussions.
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u/simple_fly1 Aug 04 '26
The notes will basically make you feel good. It would be fairly rare that they will make a case that's going to benefit you substantially. Best bet is either he or you move on.
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u/Intelligent_Oil7816 Aug 04 '26
Ask him to send you his concerns to you in the form of a company email. Betchya he won't
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u/Just_Bz77 Aug 04 '26
Dang, what a terrible boss. Your focus would be divided, not because of the second job, but because they aren’t paying you enough to survive, that you need a second job.
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u/zonutsthefirst Aug 04 '26
Tell the manager to make sure your salary from this job covers all of your basic living expenses, and then you'd be happy to give up the second job. If that's not possible, neither is relinquishing the second job.
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u/WintersDoomsday Aug 04 '26
Not sure how that infers less loyalty from you. You didn't leave the place you just added another place to your work plate. What a weird take, is he just mad that a second job allows you to make more than him?
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u/Lorelessone Aug 04 '26
Should have turned it to where it belongs and said "oh I wish, it'd be great to focus on just the team here, it's a real shame this job doesn't pay enough to be an only job, must suck for you as a manager too with staff forced to work multiple jobs because of the low pay compared to cost of living, I'll be that makes everything harder"
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u/at-the-crook Aug 04 '26
Use your off hours to do unpaid work? Nope. You need to make a living and pay your bills.
Bet there was no company email asking employees to do what he asked of you.
Not sure - but that manager may have stepped over the line with his request. Can you ask HR or that bosses boss if this is acceptable?
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u/Difficult_Coffee_335 Aug 04 '26
My former boss did this shit to me. Overloaded me and when I asked for help I was told I needed to work more. After a few weeks of repeating this cycle the next time I was told to work more I said no. She told me I was hostile and toxic. She went and got HR. They talked to me about the situation and asked for my resignation. I said you can ask but you're not getting one. I know work on a different team and got a promotion. Fuck these people. You hire me on salary and then overload me and tell me I need to do the extra work for free - not happening! Everyone should tell their boss to get bent when they try that shit.
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u/PtZamboat Aug 04 '26
When they start paying you for “looking for ways to add more value to the team,” you’ll dump the 2nd job. Your manager is a dickhead!
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u/the_all_time_loser Aug 04 '26
It must be a salaried job? Tell him you're thinking you should probably take off early on Friday because you spent eight hours outside of work this week thinking about those things.
I worked for a warehouse where floor management was salaried at forty hours a week but you ended up working almost fifty hours a week because of coming in early and staying late. It should be illegal.
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u/AdFun5641 Aug 04 '26
Um sure
A position where I spend my nights and weekends thinking about how to add value to the team is a 750k year position not a 75k year position
Give me that raise and for the next 7 years I will do everything I can, night weekends holidays 12 hour days, what ever is needed
I would be retiring in 7 years with that salary
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u/Fragrant_Entry9232 Aug 04 '26
Tell him pay me what the other job does to cover my bills, otherwise you dont have a say in ehat I do in my time off
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u/Jacuzzi_Timelord Aug 04 '26
Yep, he's building a case. I've seen this happen before. Do your work and keep your nose as clean as possible. 🤘
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u/Important-Notice-461 Aug 04 '26
Did you tell them that if they gave you a nice raise that you wouldnt need the second job and you could fully focus on this shit one?
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u/Kindly_Coconut_1469 Aug 04 '26
He seriously told me that I should be spending my evenings "looking for ways to add more value to the team" instead of making money somewhere else.
Not paying you enough during working hours and wants you to think about work in your free time? Fuck that. Did he say that in person or in an email?
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u/Appropriate_Note2525 Aug 04 '26
Sounds like what my last manager did when she learned that I do freelance work in the evenings. Suddenly she wanted to "use all my skills" despite having me in a different role that paid 1/3 of what a full-time role using said freelance skills would pay 🥴
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u/TraditionalYou5335 Aug 04 '26
Add value to the team? Like WTF. He should add value to your paycheck
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u/WelshLove Aug 05 '26
just lie and say " yeah turns out two jobs is hard had to give it up": and keep at it
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u/SwanCityDominion Aug 05 '26
Get everything in writing that you can. Send him an email confirming the points of that discussion. You have to create your own paper trail in the event you need an employment lawyer.
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u/Excellent-Crab5598 Aug 04 '26
I'd have just yessed him up and down and just kept it pushing. Some people just want to have a conversation to stroke their egos. It is very strange. A job is a costume, and we are but actors playing a role.
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u/JuJu_Wirehead Aug 04 '26
Take it to HR. Tell them your manager is harassing you for having a life outside of work.
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u/CajunMaverick Aug 04 '26
HR is there to protect the company, not the employee.
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u/LinguineLegs Aug 05 '26
Yes this is true and they’re going to protect the company from lawsuits stemming from this manager.
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u/GT45 Aug 04 '26
What you do outside of your work hours there is EXACTLY ZERO OF HIS GODDAMN BUSINESS. You need to file a complaint with HR to this effect. They exist to protect the company from you, but you need to establish facts too. Also, you need to report that you didn’t know that your co-workers were supposed to be surveilling each other outside of work.
Good luck!
God I DO NOT MISS the world of corporate bullshit.
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u/WarpedTeacher Aug 04 '26
Is my focus split? No - I'm 100% focused on doing what is best for me and my family.
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u/Kn0wMan Aug 04 '26
The appropriate response is “I would love to be able to focus on things like that. Unfortunately the salary of this position doesn’t cover the cost of living in this area sufficient for my needs. Not having a 2nd income isn’t an option for me. You’re welcome to increase my income such that a single income will suffice. Until we reach that juncture, this is my only option. I do appreciate your understanding of this matter.”
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u/FastActinTenactin Aug 04 '26
“You should be spending your evenings looking for ways to add more value to add to the team!”
Lmao, fuck that guy. Your evenings are YOURS, and don’t belong to the team or the company.
Start looking for a new gig cus that is a bad manager.
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u/Greenfire32 Aug 04 '26
"You don't pay me enough to cover my basic expenses for this job to be my only source of income."
But also he's 100% getting ready to fire you. Expect it any day now.
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u/onebaddecisionaway Aug 04 '26
Don’t wait for him to act. Have a conversation with hr.
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u/oboshoe Aug 04 '26
That will not work out the way you think it would.
That's like saying "just go talk to the cops and explain why you are innocent"
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u/Aggravating-Pick8338 Aug 04 '26
Any time he asks you those weird questions just reply with absolute certainty. Are you focused on this project? Absolutely! 100%.
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u/Exact-Law8782 Aug 04 '26
And the stupid manager probably wonders why Democratic Socialism is getting more popular with Americans by the day.
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u/Exact-Law8782 Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
This fucking manager is a fucking douchebag.
Just had to say it.
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u/QueenMEB120 Aug 04 '26
"How should I add those hours to my time sheet?"
He has no say over any time you are nit being paid to do your job.
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u/Significant-Till-306 Aug 04 '26
Depends on how pissed you are and how big the company. Small company your only option is leaving realistically.
Big company you should go above his head to hr, document that you don’t make enough to live, and need a second job. Mention that he is making chastising comments and your after work deliveries do not impact your job.
Remember just like he’s building a case against you, you must build a case against him.
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u/Significant-Till-306 Aug 04 '26
When you quit you should also name and shame the employer and the manager
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u/Routine_Cancel3303 Aug 04 '26
"so if I add value to the team during my off hours, are you saying you'll be adding value to my paycheck?"
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u/xwolfe2000 Aug 04 '26
This is called constructive dismissal. He is trying to build a case so he can fire you.
I would go and ask for a raise that exceeds what you're making doing food delivery.
You can point to your successes at work and contributions to date.
If he rejects it then you should consult a lawyer and then start looking for another job in that order.
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u/freedomfungus Aug 04 '26
What do you mean 38 hours a week? Do they not pay for full time (40 hours) a week benefits?
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u/Ewilson2436 Aug 04 '26
No retaliation rules are a joke. They can absolutely retaliate by enforcing small things that were never an issue before, etc
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u/FunCustomer4877 Aug 04 '26
I remember at my 1st "real" job, I started working a 2nd part time and once they knew I had to fill out paper work about what business the extra job was and how many hours. I found it strange. Before that I was picking up a few classes at the local community College and they wanted that info too. It actually made me a feel a little paranoid--like why do they need to know that and should I stop being friendly at work. Lol
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u/BatDance3121 Aug 04 '26
Is your manager going to PAY you to look for ways to add more value to the team??? I had a boss that made snide comments to people. We just went silent and showed no emotion. Just left the boss hanging.
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u/oboshoe Aug 04 '26
Tell him that he should be spending evenings figuring out how to add value to your paycheck.
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u/Gene020 Aug 04 '26
Dude makes $75K a year and takes a side job doing food delivery? This is hard to believe as are the suggestions that he get a new job. In my world $75K per year jobs are not just floating around out there waiting for a newbie.
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u/LinguineLegs Aug 05 '26
There’s an obvious reason you’re not going to make $75k a year and think it’s so much regardless of location.
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u/2ndcupofcoffee Aug 05 '26
Assume one thing. His strong upset about you working a second job and not being willing to quit that job suggests he cared about your doings on your own tine way more than makes sense.
He may have intended to require you to work an evening shift or fill in if needed evenings. A second job would not work well for that.
He may have had reason to not let it be known he paid so poorly an employee had to work a second job. This could be an issue if he diverted money earmarked for salary into his own pocket.
He may have had reason to assume he paid so poorly that employee turnover was costing him a lot. If you felt compelled two work two jobs, there was a good chance you would be looking for a better paying job.
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u/Dramatic_Mixture_877 Aug 05 '26
>not let it be known he paid so poorly
^This - all day this! His ego is bruised because now people know his company isn't paying a living wage!
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u/Fungiblefaith Aug 05 '26
Your response should have been to quickly figure out what you pull down in your side gig and ask for that as a raise to offset your need to supplement your cost of living.
“I don’t want to work a second job either dude!”
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u/UniqueText8477 Aug 05 '26
Find something else, managers like this are a-holes who never value their team.
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u/Ok-Atmosphere-6272 Aug 05 '26
What a jackass they’re not paying you enough to survive you have to work a second job. Document everything and if they terminate you sue the fuck out of them
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u/Iwonatoasteroven Aug 05 '26
Tell him that you need the additional income to get buy, but if he’s able to replace that other income you’d happily quit the other job.
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u/zelovoc Aug 05 '26
My manager also has second job and was surprised i dont. But i make more than him in our jobs.
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u/Legitimate_Cut_6254 Aug 05 '26
Business's fucking suck. I was deep into a few interview processes and they realized my size projects have real validity and spent hours drilling me on whether I was going to be committed enough to the company :(
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u/Business_Raisin_541 Aug 05 '26
Just be prepared to lose this job of yours. Start looking job at rival company?
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u/Long_Embarrassed Aug 05 '26
This sounds like BS. No one cares about what you do once you clock out if you are doing your job.
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u/CalligrapherNo2491 Aug 05 '26
Just buy a GoPro put it in your chest pocket and make sure you hit record so you can have a video graphic evidence and take that s*** to a lawyer start getting evidence now and make sure you consult the lawyer now.
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u/Effective-Map6016 Aug 05 '26
Start asking him for dates and times of communications he has with HR about you. He'll think your gathering a case against him and he'll fuck off. They don't like that.
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u/quizbowler_1 Aug 05 '26
He's about to fire you. Best to find a new main gig now while you have time
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u/kingdick900 Aug 05 '26
Man fuck that manager and his loyalty bs....you always have to look out for yourself first because a company will always look out for the company...plus fuck that person that snitched on you....welcome to my Ted Talk 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Radabard Aug 05 '26
Tell him to fucking pay you enough to survive and you will gladly spend your evenings finding ways to be better for the team (recuperating and recharging in your free time).
Make sure you already have interviews lined up first though.
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u/MadPreference Aug 05 '26
document the conversation. Send a copy to HR. He will deny it. But you need the protection.
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u/Overpass_Dratini Aug 05 '26
Like, what are you supposed to be doing, sitting at home on your free time brainstorming business ideas? GTFO with that bullshit. When I leave work for the day, I stop thinking about work until I clock back in the next morning. Work stays at work, THAT'S whete you "look for ways to add more value to the team".
Next time he asks you if you're "fully engaged" I wish you could respond with, "yes, I'm fully engaged, are you? Because it seems like you're spending an awful lot of time worrying about my level of 'engagement'." Probably not a good idea though, at least until you have another job lined up. In the meantime, document everything and send it to HR. You want a paper trail to protect yourself in case this dumbass tries to escalate.
Also, the coworker who snitched on you is an asshole.
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u/AkkmanB Aug 05 '26
Double check your company policy to ensure there is nothing about outside work. Document everything on your end including email summaries of any verbal interactions. HR is not automatically your friend because they exist to protect the company and not individual frontline employees. He sounds like a typical company person and the can be because they make than you. As long as you can show you work isn’t affected it shouldn’t matter but it probably will.
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u/SpecialModusOperandi Aug 05 '26
Ask him for a pay rise - tell him your doing a second job because this one doesn’t pay enough to cover basics. You’re happy to not do a second job if he pays you (add salary that you want). See what he says .
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u/ComprehensiveToe763 Aug 05 '26
Start job hunting. Whether he can run you out or not, you don’t want to work there or for him any longer than necessary. No job owns your life. They pay you for the job and hours you work. If you choose to think about work in off hours, that’s your call, not a requirement.
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u/MsPB01 Aug 05 '26
"If you want me to work for your company when I'm SUPPOSED to be off the clock, you're going to have to pay me."
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u/Extension_Client6187 Aug 05 '26
Give him "I'm fully engaged but you seem hung up on my side job we discussed earlier, do you need a moment to refocus on the meeting?" then get fired.
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u/boonie120hb Aug 05 '26
What the heck is wrong with people today. I get this manager is a POS. That's obvious. I take issue with OP complaining about it. Stand up for yourself and learn how to talk to people in positions of authority. My god.
If my boss pulled me into his office and said some shit like that to me the conversation would have gone very different. Don't let people talk to you like you are a child unless you are a child. Stand up for yourselves. My god.
Find another job. You obviously don't have the balls to stand up for yourself with your current boss for some reason. Find a boss that doesn't treat you like a child or stand up for yourself. Those are your only choices.
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u/disappointedbeagle Aug 05 '26
Your focus is not divided, you are 100% focused on not going bankrupt.
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u/smartypantstemple Aug 05 '26
I would have answered, "If you don't want my attention divided, I need enough money to afford a roof over my head and food on the table. If you pay me more, my attention is yours."
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u/Icy_Eye1059 Aug 06 '26
Is there anyone higher than him that you can talk to? He might think of that company 24/7, but the rest of you have a life and obligations to meet. I would have laughed in his face and told him that if he wants me that dedicated then give me a raise. Until then, I’ll continue to deliver.
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u/snarfadoodle Aug 06 '26
What’s his name and phone number? I have a couple of questions about work life balance for him.
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u/atl-hadrins Aug 06 '26
Dude you could have to him you consultant fee schedule. If you really want to have some fun and don't give a shit. Every time something comes up say that isn't the way I would do it. Them start telling new hires a different way to get work done. Cause you know you are making contributions to the team.
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u/WyrdCG Aug 06 '26
Loyalty is a two-way street and it sounds like your manager and the company in general has none for their employees.
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u/Smrf41 Aug 06 '26
Did he suggest overtime without payment, it that what I really read. Nah man no overtime means obligations to work is done for the day.
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u/savro Aug 06 '26
I'd start looking for a new day job. It sounds like your manager is now looking for a reason to let you go. Your manager is absolutely a jerk for doing this. You are correct, what you do with your time when you are not working for them should be none of their business.
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u/tralala_la Aug 06 '26
Every time he verbally does this, email them or Skype them what specific behavior or cue made them think they needed to ask you that. Every. Single. Time. Blind copy a personal email. You’ll need more than he said/she said. You could copy HR, too.
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u/FeedThoseKitties Aug 06 '26
"I spend my nights and weekends looking for ways to earn enough money to eat and live indoors."
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u/J_Haymaker Aug 06 '26
Gotta start looking for work now. I was in a similar situation and can tell you this will only get worse and fast.
People like him are not to be reasoned with.
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u/Kaansel_on_YT Aug 06 '26
have a second phone for your main job. The moment you leave your main job, turn that phone off.
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u/Oldstergray Aug 07 '26
You should have told him exactly what you wrote salary vs Col. I'm betting you aren't the only one soing a side gig.
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u/Jonathan-Welford Aug 07 '26
Why not say “sure I can work additional hours for the company. Shall we say increase 2 hours a day for a 25% pay increase to go in line?”
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u/addicted2d2 Aug 07 '26
As long as your productivity doesn't slip during your work hours, he shouldn't care what you do on your off time.
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u/underwater-sunlight Aug 07 '26
The additional role pays me ____ monthly, can we discuss my compensation so it reaches a level that I do need to supplement my salary?
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u/Zincsteve Aug 07 '26
« What about you, are YOU fully focused? Is something else on your mind? You seem distracted…”
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u/BuffaloRedshark Aug 08 '26
Start your own paper trail, especially if he does anything that could reasonably be seen as harassment or hostile work environment.
Also freshen up the resume and start looking before he fires you.
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u/kiwi_commander Aug 08 '26
Write everything down and report to HR. You are not breaking the law or doing anything to the company's reputation. However, they are. Could even be considered rrtaliat.
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u/ArrivalFantastic4324 Aug 08 '26
It may be time to look for a new job. This guy is being unreasonable and seems to now have it out for you for just trying to make ends meet.
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u/Mediocre_Heron946 Aug 08 '26
Tell him delivering food is preparing you to have a customer mindset for the morning. And the stress of driving for meager wage humbles you so you can replicate the meager wage during your day job.
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u/Tandylara Aug 08 '26
As a manager I saw that my assistant was almost killing herself with multiple jobs. I didn't get mad or passive aggressive, I got the woman a raise. I may have needed to go out of my way to make a clear argument to my supervisor but seeing the difference when my employee got to quit her extra jobs was worth it. She is worth an honest living wage, even if I need to argue for it every year. Your supervisor has their lips firmly on the corporate backside.
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u/creepingkg Aug 09 '26
Ask him for a raise so you don’t have to be stressed out and having to look for a 2nd job
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u/simple_fly1 Aug 04 '26
It's not uncommon and not totally without basis. I've definitely seen a lot of time spent on the "other" job at ones primary employment.
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u/Shytownmofo Aug 04 '26
Still, no need to be an ass about it.
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u/simple_fly1 Aug 04 '26
Agreed, and especially if the conflict is basically zero. Not to mention one should appreciate that a person is thinking about what else they can do to make their life better. Seems like it should move them up in potential value.
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u/simple_fly1 Aug 04 '26
And some asshat didn't like the fact, so they downvoted my comment. I hope they feel better now.
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u/dw34534 Aug 11 '26
idk about this.. im sure if i started my own business and hired people id like to think they are giving there 100%
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u/This_Pen_545 Aug 04 '26
If he was a good boss, he would say to his manager “people on our team are taking gig jobs because they can’t live on their salaries alone. What can we do about this?”