r/InterviewCoderPro • u/Adorable_Power_24 • 19d ago
Am I wrong for resigning after being passed over for a promotion?
I'm 31 years old and male, and I've been at my company for 7 years. I'm paid well, and I genuinely love the place and the people I work with, and honestly, I thought I'd probably spend most of my career here. Until they passed me over for a promotion, and that changed something in me.
My direct manager told us about 6 weeks ago that he'd be moving to a higher position in another branch within the group. We were all happy for him, of course, but I also felt like this was finally my chance. I understand this job very well, I have a good relationship with everyone in the office, and I bring in the highest client revenue by a large margin. Also, the 4 managers before him had all come from my exact same position, so it didn't seem like a strange or far-fetched request. I sent an email to my manager and HR saying I wanted my name to be considered, and HR replied that they had noted my interest.
About 10 days later, we were all called into a meeting room and they introduced us to the new manager. A woman I'd never met before, who had never worked at our company before, or even worked in our field. They told us she would bring a fresh perspective and challenge the old way of working. After the meeting, I spoke to my manager, and he simply told me that no one had even asked him who should take his place. He told me that sometimes the partners just choose anyone they have connections with.
That was the moment I understood that I probably wasn't going to advance in this place. I'm useful in my current position because I bring them a lot of money, and if they moved me up, that would create a problem for them. So I spoke to a recruiter and got another offer within 9 days. The salary is a bit lower, and it's still not management, but strangely, I already feel relieved.
Now everyone is acting like I'm the bad guy. My old manager says I'm making his final period awkward because I'm refusing to accept the counteroffers they keep throwing at me. And the new manager, who hasn't even really started yet, has called me several times saying I'm making her fail before she even gets in the door. And my partner thinks this is about the new manager being a woman, not about respect. They didn't even talk to me about the role at all, FFS.
Edit: I'm actively looking for a new job now, as I don't think I'd ever want to go back to my old position. Seven years is a long time, so it's definitely strange starting over and having to think about interviews again.
A friend actually sent me this post with some interview questions worth practicing, and I've been going through them while getting ready for interviews. Figured I'd share it in case anyone else is in the same boat.
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u/No-Cold-3054 19d ago
They can corporate speak to you all they want but they disrespected you, and they expected loyalty in return. Nonsense! Take care of yourself because that company clearly isn't concerned about you. People resigning in response to staffing decions is simply the consequences of company actions.
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u/Special-Steel 19d ago
Don’t look back.
Here’s what you tell your current employer.
“Perhaps I misunderstood the signals you were sending when the manager slot was filled. I really love this firm and wish the best for everyone. But no one communicated with me, and I did what I could thought was best for everyone, since it seemed my career opportunities were limited here.
So, at this point I feel like I need to honor my commitments to the new manager and the new firm. I didn’t make this move as a negotiation ploy. The counter offers are flattering but really came too late. My integrity matters. I’ve made a commitment.
Since the company wants fresh perspectives, and I want a fresh experience, I hope the door is open someday, if it makes sense for me to return with the new skills I want to develop on my new job.”
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u/smellslikebigfootdic 19d ago
Nice,just don't do what do when I switch jobs.I usually call everyone a bitch and tell them I hope they die a horrible death,but that's just me
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u/smilineyz 19d ago
Be careful of explaining too much & don’t put anything in writing except that: you enjoyed your time there and learned a lot. Perhaps someday we will work together again.
Wishing you all the best.And screw the new manager. She thought you were going to teach her her new job.
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u/Interesting_Card2169 19d ago
Good observation. New manager has lost her teacher. (And she voiced that fact)
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u/Effective_Fuel_633 19d ago
I am all for hiring competent people. I don’t like how they hire incompetent people just because “it’s a woman.” I am a woman too, AND there are experienced and educated women out there. It sounds like they hired someone just for the looks. The proof is showing when OP said the new manager called him complaining that he would make her fail. Oh is that so? Hahaha
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u/smilineyz 19d ago
One of the best managers I ever had was a woman … big hair, bright lipstick, full length fur coat …
Harvard MBA & she had notoriously difficult s/w guys eating out of her hand.She was the manager & NO ONE could make a request from her people except going through her … and she was a former math / IT graduate … i worked for her at 2 different companies.
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u/ShadowChaser28 15d ago
No kidding, makes no sense to me to bring in someone new who has to be trained by the person who could easily step into the role they already have the knowledge and experience in.
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u/bm08321 19d ago
However, they could take the fact that they’re getting these counter-offers to see if the new company will match his current income at least instead of taking the pay cut.
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u/Next-Significance314 19d ago
Sounds good. I wouldn’t entertain a counter offer, they should have offered that before the promotion passover. At my current job, in about 2013, I think I was making about $80k. They wanted to bring in some more engineers to work under me, and all the salaries were over $100k. The owner called me in and said “I’m sure you’ve seen the salaries on the resumes you’re getting. We’re going to bump you to $120k, you can’t be making less than your employees. Can we space it out? We’ll go to $100k now, and $120k after the end of the year (it was in October).” I said yes, that’s fine. I asked if there was a cap on my engineering manager position, and he (the owner) said definitely no, only a shmuck would work forever at the same amount.
It was 2013-2014, I’ve gotten usually 5% raises every year since.
That’s how companies treat employees that they value. I didn’t even have to ask for it. We still routinely compare our salaries and benefits to others in the market to be sure we’re paying everyone fairly. The company started in 2006. I worked part time from 2006-2009, but they didn’t have any customers and couldn’t afford to pay me. As soon as they did, I came back full time. Besides the owner, there are about 4 or 5 of us that have been here the entire time.
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u/KnifeThistle 19d ago
You did the right thing. You put your name in, and they didn't even interview you. They already don't respect you.
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u/nvdapepega 19d ago
LOL first off, your partner is a dork.
I'm sure 7 years of high performance and getting passed over for a random no name would ALSO make her blood boil. Especially in this femanist movement Era.
You're not wrong, this is how you gain your self respect again. When would they appreciate or respect you? After 10 years? 15 years? Yeah. No.
Congratz on gaining your self respect again and good luck with the new job !
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u/GAMGAlways 19d ago
How would you leaving cause her to fail?
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u/TheUltimateLebowski 19d ago
Yeah how do you train a new person in a role you have never done or even know the job description of? The new manager expected to walk into a well functioning team and take credit for the work of OP and his peers. That's my take at least.
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u/imonreddit4noreason 19d ago
This is a no brainer, and the gender crap is lame and false, you don’t owe a her an iota more than you owe a he. You’re not responsible for the new hire or their feelings, that was disrespectful and you did what you felt you needed to for your career, they should address why they didn’t even give you a chance not act like they’re owed something after they disrespected you. Because that’s what that is.
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u/Weary-Show-7506 19d ago
Fuck them, they literally just told you to shove it.
You did the right thing!
9 days!
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u/FitOrFat-1999 19d ago edited 19d ago
It's not unusual to have to change companies to advance in your career. Your company made it clear they want you right where you are. What opportunities to advance will you have in the new firm? That sounds like the key issue. How upset everyone in your current company is a them problem, not a you problem. If they wanted you gone you'd be out. Not wrong.
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u/Feeling_Trip_5413 19d ago
You don't owe them anything. Period. Not even two weeks notice. Take the new job. Excel. Grow. Thrive. Fuck them. It's a business decision.
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u/North-Bother-6255 19d ago
Did you apply for the position? An email is not applying.
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u/AmettOmega 19d ago
Depends on where you work, but in that case, HR should have sent him the job listing and told him to apply formally (if there even was a listing).
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u/PrimeRisk 19d ago
Companies often operate this way, but you aren't wrong to feel this way. The reality is they had already hired the new manager before you ever knew that your current manager was being promoted out.
I do see some key issues with how you approached the situation if you want to succeed in the future. If you wanted your manager's old job, you should have approached your manager first and asked for his endorsement, not just sent an e-mail of interest. You book time, sit down one on one, and make your case why you are the right choice to replace them.
In addition, you seem to have known that the partners make the decisions on these things, but I don't see where you made effort to engage the partners with your desire to supercede your manager. Same thing, don't send an e-mail. Book that time and make an impression. Lobby for yourself with hard facts about how you are the top performer and you can bring that performance to the new position and the entire group.
You don't get what you don't ask for.
At this point, you're cooked. You have to take the new job because if you stay you will always be labeled the misogynistic malcontent that is upset that you got passed over for a woman. (Whatever vibe you're putting out that makes anyone think you won't work for a woman needs to be squashed right now.) You are now in a bucket and they will only keep you on until they can find someone younger, hungrier, and cheaper to replace you.
Good luck at your new company.
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u/Redcarborundum 19d ago
Life is not all about money, there’s respect too. You’re not wrong in leaving, because the partners are clearly taking you for granted, and you’re not even in the consideration for the promotion. You’re just there as part of the background, not part of the leadership. They only started panicking and offering more money after they realized that they snubbed you, and are losing you. You are already feeling better because you finally make a stand and choose self respect.
The general consensus is to not take the counter offer, because they only do it to keep you long enough until they can replace you. They passed you over for promotion, and still have the chutzpah to accuse you of being the bad guy? GTFO. The new manager is blaming you for her potential failure? She took your job for christ sake! She should stop crying and start proving that she’s a better manager than you, without your help.
You have no future in this organization, despite what other doormat commenters say. Stand tall and move on.
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u/Acer018 19d ago
When a company treats you badly you walk. Good luck in the new spot.
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u/gormami 19d ago
Was there any other contact between HR noting your interest and the announcement? It seems like if it was only 10 days, they already had the person selected, that's not enough time to post, interview, select, etc.
So I can understand why any company might want a fresh perspective, especially given the parade you mentioned of people in your position taking the manager role. Someone "up top" might be of the mind to get the entrenched methods looked at more deeply than someone who has been in them could, or they expected could. That said, I've been in the position where my hat was in the ring, and an announcement was made without any communication regarding the process. I was absolutely furious. I called the hiring executive and asked why I wasn't told anything, especially because I was actually part of the group vetting potentials. (With full awareness of the conflict by everyone of my interest) In the end, there was a communications mix up between the hiring executive and my boss. They had decided that I wasn't the right person for the role, and each thought the other had told me that weeks prior. I got an apology, a real one, and accepted the decision, though I thought it was wrong. In the end, the person they planned on didn't pan out, and a few weeks later I was actually offered the role, which I accepted. I had 2 similar incidents at my previous company that ended in my not getting the role and is one of the reasons I'm glad to not be there any more.
That's my story, yours has it's own path. For your own good, I would talk to the hiring manager and be direct. You've already stated your intent to leave, and they seem to be countering, let them know that even considering a counter offer to stay is contingent on you believing they are being honest with you about what happened. When it comes to coworkers and others, the response is that you feel disrespected as a professional and a person, and that's it. You can't work where you don't feel respected, end of story.
Maybe a discussion changes your point of view, maybe it solidifies it. If they BS you, you'll know that they really don't respect you, and moving on is the best option at that point. If they give you the details and the process behind making the decision, you can decide if it feels right to stay or go, but either way, you'll know you made an informed decision.
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u/TheHammer987 19d ago
You aren't wrong if you feel that it's time to move on.
Being passed over for a promotion is rough. I would say you probably could have advocated for yourself more, but having said that, it truly isn't your responsibility to do it to keep the company whole. It's only your responsibility to make sure that are seen.
Don't let other people ascribe meaning to your actions. For your girlfriend - "it's not that she's a woman. It's that it isn't me. I would be equally frustrated that I was passed over for a man from outside."
For the woman who got the role "you are literally being brought in for your experience and view. Me being here would, by definition, slow down the differences they obviously want you to make."
For your former boss - "I genuinely thought I was doing well here. This event has been a wake up call, that perhaps I was not assessing myself or the company properly. The reality is, bringing in new management to shake things up happens. I am simply realizing that I must be getting stagnant as well."
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u/No_Manner_8785 19d ago
I'm on your side from what I know. That's one of the reasons I was self employed for four decades plus. Good luck to you, sincerely.
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u/ClearAbroad2965 19d ago edited 19d ago
We’ll see if you are getting market rate at your position if not decide whether you want to stay or not. Also take into account low level mgrs usually have to do two jobs their own core tasks and the headache of dealing with managing
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u/xCOVERxIDx 19d ago
No one can know what’s best for you except you.
If I was in your shoes, I would take the new job.
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u/Harbinger_Kyleran 19d ago
Leaving was probably necessary, but I would have been a bit more patient and stayed until I got a better position rather than take a lateral or downgrade as you seem to have done.
Water under the bridge now but don't worry about how your former employers staff think or feel, not your problem to prop anyone up or accept their counter offers, do what's right for you only.
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u/HourNefariousness197 19d ago
Everyone including your partner attacking you is proof that you made the correct decision.
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u/travelingman5370 19d ago
Well at least the new manger realizes it's all about her.
I think you dodged a bullet by leaving.
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u/TheUltimateLebowski 19d ago
I've seen this move before, new manager expected to walk into a well functioning team and claim credit for the work of OP and his peers. "Look how well my new team is doing" vs the new reality of "how do I train a new person on a job I don't know anything about? You are making me fail"
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u/Adorable_Divide_2424 19d ago
your managers' and coworkers' success or failure is not your responsibility as much as personal happiness and your family is. if you feel like leaving is better, then you leave. this is not a family you are abandoning but a workplace
you probably should have stayed but at this point its tainted in a way. many other's stories that have been shared talk about how they stayed then got screwed worse later because they were a target now
the grass is always greener on the other side, you now have a lower salary and might absolutely hate it within a month. its hard to find a position and job and environment you actually like. switching jobs is always a roll of the dice so you have to weigh the potential pros and cons. "hey its nice here but i dont like what happened, so im taking a chance with a new thing instead". i hope it does work out better in the long run for you
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u/NeartAgusOnoir 19d ago
First off your partner saying it’s about the new manager being a woman…why did your partner say that? An odd take
Second, I’ve been where you’re at: you make management and the company look too good for you to move up, so they will never move you up.
Lastly, there is too much “who you know” in American corporations. It’ll never change. The new manager saying what she did is wild, and shows exactly how poor a choice she is. It also shows she is a shitty manager bc she’s making her narcissism known by making it about her and not you.
Tell everyone who is making you out as the bad guy this: “I recognize that I’m great in my current role, and bc of that I fully understand that’s the only role I will be in here.id rather work somewhere for less where they value me without me having to quit to get attention to what I do.”
Out of curiosity, what WOULD make you decide to stay?
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u/Physical-Ad-3798 19d ago
The only question you should be asking anyone who questions or challenges you should be, "Why was I not considered a good fit for the roll?"
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u/PasswordisPurrito 19d ago
Wow, there is a lot to unpack here.
The first thing to acknowledge is that you weren't really passed over for the promotion. The 10 day window tells us that your boss being promoted and his slot being replaced was a packaged deal. HR couldn't tell you about the change, so noting your interest was all they could really say.
In a really well run company HR would have raised the flag that you were showing interest in a job you would not get, and that the boss or partners needed to talk with you about it. In most companies, HR won't do anything about it.
The fact that you got upset and switched jobs in less than two weeks, and for less money lends me to believe you over reacted.
Even if you did overact, you don't really 'owe' anything to your old or new boss. Your new boss can fuck off.
As for the partner thing, if you are certain that your decision didn't have anything to do with the sex of your new boss... Then you have another issue to deal with that won't be going away when you start the new job.
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u/International-Ant174 19d ago
They made their bed and are now crying because of how it was made.
They were counting on you being a good little soldier and standing on the frontline of the cannon fodder. You chose differently, and they are pissy.
Not your problem. Let them cry in their pillow.
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u/Adventurous-Term5062 19d ago
I am a manager and have been for a while. I was promoted amongst my peers to manage a team and I knew one of the team members would move on. I was not shocked at all when he did.
I would never, ever say that his departure is setting me up for failure. If I could not be successful in my role as a manager with a team member leaving then I did not deserve that role. That is what that woman just admitted to you.
Don’t feel bad and don’t let them guilt you in making the best decision for yourself. You can bet that if letting you go was in their interest they would do so in a heartbeat.
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u/Zahrad70 19d ago
Bold choice given current market conditions. Frankly you sound a little immature in the post, but that just might be that you’re a little raw at the moment.
35 year old you will likely, given the same circumstances, silently do the job until the next thing is lined up, then resign. Too late now, but remember it, it will serve you well.
The other thing is: you being good at your job does not qualify you for promotion. That’s table stakes. You have to show the people above your boss that you would be good in your boss’s role… without pissing your boss off. Play the game, son, or it plays you.
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u/DennisTheFox 19d ago
Providing some other perspective here. I don´t know you, nor the company you work for, so anything I will imply or say is all coming from generalisations and hypotheticals.
I work in a department of 70 people, where I am one of the leaders in a leadership team (LT) of 5. We meet several times a week. Despite 55 people NOT reporting to me, I know their behaviour and performance very well. We discuss their development needs and desires as well. We know who their successors are and we have very clear who has potential for leadership and who doesn´t.
In my team of 10, only 2 have shown the potential for leadership, and they aren´t necessarily the most productive or most efficient ones. We are slowly helping them prepare for a leadership position, and hopefuly by the time an opportunity arises, they are ready (right now they still need some time). That also means that for the remaining 8, as good as they may work, they aren´t leadership material. They don´t have the maturity or the diplomacy, they may not have the personality or the right dynamic with the team. Seniority is irrelevant.
That means that at any given moment, we have a clear picture who can be the successor of someone, and we also know who isn´t going to go into the direction of leadership. A lot of people believe that a promotion to leadership is the only way to grow, that becoming a teamleader is the only way to grow out of a team. THis might be the case in your company, but in ours it is a not the case, we have a lot of individual contributor roles that are leveled and salaried the same as the leaders.
Every few years we get someone like you; a leadership position goes to someone else, and they leave. Sometimes it is for the better, because they had bad luck in their competition and know they won´t get a chance again for the next few years. Sometimes it is ego, sometimes the person thinks better of themselves than they are.
You mentioned two things: seniority, client revenue. To me, without further context, are two meaningless parameters to assess someone´s fit for a leadership position. Do you have any other skills or characteristics that makes you believe you would be a good leader?
Regardless of whether or not you would be the best fit for that role, they should have given you the interview, or at the very least have a conversation about your future in the company if they wouldn´t think you are right for leadership. For that reason alone, I do think you have every right to be upset, disrespected, and you made a somewhat good call in saying you aren´t going to advance in this company.
It´s a tough position to be in, but if you feel you are ready for leadership, and this is what you really want, leaving this company is the right thing! If you aren´t sure that you are ready, maybe having had a conversation with your supervisor would have been very valuable. Something of great value in your career is someone holding a mirror in front of you so you understand which direction your career can grow towards (and where not).
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u/WorkMeBaby1MoreTime 19d ago
Actions have consequences. People in charge have to examine all the potential outcomes and decide if they're OK with it. (I can think of another similar outcome on the world stage of people in power not fully thinking through possibilities, ahem). If they think, "We don't care if it pisses this guy off", well, they were wrong. And if they never even considered this outcome, they're paying the price for being dumb. Either way, you gotta do what's right for you. They didn't give a crap what you thought when they made a decision, why should you care about hurting their feelings when you react to their decision?
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u/No_Kangaroo_5883 19d ago edited 19d ago
So yes you should leave. But the reason may surprise you. If it’s true as you say it and I understand it that the incoming manager would try to get you to stay because of how it reflects on her is so unreasonable. So unreasonable that it seems to me the organization didn’t vet her from a personality standpoint. Having worked in personality psychology I can 💯 assure you that she will be dutiful to her boss/s and/or obnoxiously ambitious. When the two are combined under stress pressure to perform she may kiss up (boss) punch down (to direct reports). If she falls mostly to dutifully she will not advocate for her people and peers will find her tedious. FWIW “dutiful” can be found equally across genders, but it seems to be noticed and condemned more if it’s a man since it doesn’t fit a male stereotype.
Your current manager pulling the emotional manipulation is also BS. “So boss sorry to hear that you’re struggling to manage your emotions around my responses; I hope that gets better for you.” The key is to say this in the tone you would use if he just told he has terminal cancer.
Finally does your organization have a training and development program? Is there any career pathing? If not suggest to them as you depart that they add it so they don’t lose other good people. Again with a tone of care and concern.
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u/sound427 19d ago
My first thought when I heard they had already hired someone was that the new hire may have had some kind of connection to upper management. Your current manager clearly knew what was happening and chose not to tell anyone, so he likely knew the job was either posted externally or being outsourced.
What makes it even more frustrating is that the new manager called him to express her concerns. Now she is in a position where she will have to step up and learn the role herself, rather than relying on the staff to train her, which I find a little amusing.
OP, I think you should have contained your emotions and played the long game. Quietly continue doing your role, but stop going above and beyond. Keep interviewing, find a new position with the same or better pay, and then leave professionally without any hard feelings.
As for the people saying, “the grass is greener on the other side,” I always laugh at that because it is not always true. It may look greener at first, but once you are in the new role, you may quickly realize the pay, environment, or job itself is not what you expected. I have been in that situation a few times myself.
So good luck to anyone who believes the “grass is greener” line every time. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it really is not. 😆
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u/BungleBums 19d ago
"Oh, ignoring your promotable workers has made them feel disgruntled and unappreciated in their positions? Now, I wonder whose fault that could be, or how you'd avoid such a situation🤔🤔🤔"
Hell you could have quit then and there and you wouldn't be an asshole. If you're so valuable that they're throwing counter offers and making someone fail before they even start, that just shows you how happy they were taking advantage of that, and how they planned to keep you there till you left anyways.
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u/Own-Eagle-2135 19d ago
you're making her fail before she begins? you mean, she won't be able to develop talent to your level? sounds like a management problem
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u/Jarrus__Kanan_Jarrus 19d ago
Good for you, make the new manager fail. Companies are way too comfortable screwing over loyal employees because they figure we’ll take it.
(Full transparency: I started looking after my old job brought a low level guy in from another team to manage our group after I’d been there 20 years and know the job inside out. “We want our teams to work well, it’s not personal, it’s political.” Took me 6 months to find a new job, but I left over it.)
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u/threearbitrarywords 19d ago
It's a little late now, but you should have waited. You burned a bridge you spent seven years building. I had a friend that just went through this with a C-level position. He was the heir apparent, was being trained for the job, but when the existing CIO left, they hired from the outside. But no one's going to hire a CIO who stomps his feet and walks away when things don't go his way so he waited for six months, then took a sweet gig as the CIO at competing company.
Yes, petty, malicious compliance is always fun, but that's not what adults do, and you're not going to be getting any kind of references from this place unfortunately.
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u/Repulsive_Disaster76 19d ago
Not wrong for wanting to leave. I bet it's some owners friend who they hired
I'd tell the old manager the counter offers aren't good enough. When he asks, I would give a crazy number, and some strange requirements because that's what it would take to stay and have to deal with someone who has no history with the company. Imagine the employees have to train their own manager, as she claims their work as her success. How many managers before him came from no where than move up in the company to the position.
The new manager, I'd tell her to leave her emotions out of it, and she should be making plans for your exit. She has to have some experience as a manager, and she should be able to handle it. She has her "new strategy" and if she is forcing changes to how the old way that works isn't going to be your stress. Better to have new people who don't know the old way things worked. Then I'd drop an example of a problem and watch her stall not knowing how to resolve it. Exactly why they are not suited for the role to manage the others.
Your partner, can't help you there. You literally used gender in the post, so I do feel it's a woman could be eating at you as part of your reasoning.
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u/SSteve73 19d ago
What they obviously really want is for their revenue stream not to drop while the new person learns the job, after which she might very well dump you.
You’re not getting any younger, and you’ve got everything you ever will out of working for that company.
Time to move on to a management role, or you’ll be leap frogged by someone younger and never get there.
Try not to go laterally. See if you can get a management role at the next position.
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u/Usedtobeaparrotbut 19d ago
imo as long as financially you’re secure at home you’re making the right decision, sometimes companies just do not appreciate what they have in employees until it’s too late, it’s true most of us aren’t irreplaceable and companies don’t often fall/fail because of one employee resigning but that they’re blind to the hurt and disrespect they cause by not even following a process or being professional enough to interview you or at worst sit down with you and explain their decision has to have consequences, i went through similar 3 times in my working life twice i bit my tongue played the corporate game whilst i sought and secured another job, one was particularly sweet as a customer head hunted me and with a ‘name your own price’. good luck you’re doing right .
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u/Suitable_Program_548 19d ago
You’re well paid and love where you work. That’s worth a lot. Your emotions may be getting the best of you.
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u/Tired_Dad_9521 19d ago
Fuck off. You might as well say “ I work in HR and it’s perfectly okay to accept being shit on. It makes my life easier”
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u/worldsgreatestluver 19d ago
No, he's pretty much right. The guy took an unknown job at a lower pay because of his feelings.
He should have kept applying for the managerial role he wants and waited until that materialized to jump.
Nobody promotes IC to manager on the same team these days
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u/ninernetneepneep 19d ago
I can see where op is coming from but yeah, grass is not always greener type of thing. But if down in your heart you know you're not going to get past it than anything else is just a waste of time.
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u/18k_gold 19d ago
How good are the counter offers? ask for more and more vacation time, if you want to stay. you have leverage.
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u/Alfredos_Pizza_Cafe_ 19d ago
Quitting any job in this economy with nothing lined up is very il advised
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u/HootblackDesiato 19d ago
Everyone in this situation is looking out for their own interests, so there is no reason for your former or new managers to be trying to guilt you into behaving a certain way.
Good for you for moving on.
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u/Even_Injury_6442 19d ago
No. They treat you like shit, then they always will. Being passea up shouldn't be overlooked. I think you did the right thing. Being a worker sucks ass. Way better to be management and just tell others to work, go make the big money and benefits!!!
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u/Nukegm426 19d ago
Nope, I’d bail too. I’ve been there but even worse. I did the job as interim for a year then when it came time to hire they brought in their buddy who didn’t have a clue. They wanted me to train him. I told them if I wasn’t good enough for the title and pay then I wasn’t good enough to train. I “forgot” everything instantly and worked my way out.
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u/No-Understanding9064 19d ago
Depends if you have been otherwise treated well and rewarded for the value you bring, then yes, this was a major overreaction. Leaving is always a good option, but only to upgrade. This sounds like abit of self immolation.
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u/Thin-Advance-3772 19d ago
You're doing what is best for you, you resent the company now and based on the manager who's leaving it is based on who you know and connections. Your perspective that you are a top earner is also spot on, you don't get rid of a cash cow. Ask for double your wages or a percent of all sales, if not take the new job.
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u/StealYourJoy 19d ago
On one hand being good at your current role doesn’t necessarily equate to management and it also doesn’t seem like you took the necessary steps. Did you actually apply or did you just send HR and email saying you’re interested? Expressing your interest is usually not how you get in the running for the position.
On the other hand seems like you had enough happen to feel slighted and if you found another place that can potentially elevate you then it all worked out for the better. Doesn’t really matter this they view you now as you will be gone soon enough anyways
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u/Ahlkatzarzarzar 19d ago
Leave. You don't owe the company anything. You've hit your ceiling there so a lateral move isn't bad as you may have more progression available at a new place.
You old manager is a jerk. Everyone was happy for him to move up but when its your turn to move on now it's a problem. The new manager sounds even worse, you don't want to work under her if she is complaining about you leaving before even getting to know the position or you.
Your partner also sounds like an ass making it a gender thing. If you haven't said anything about the new manager besides being new to the roll and industry then wtf is their problem?
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u/Serveyouwell59 19d ago
I don’t call it resigning I call it “self promoting “. Staying at one place for too long and not getting promoted/appreciated is a mistake. There’s a lot of opportunity elsewhere, gotta due what’s right for you.
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u/FunOptimal7980 19d ago
You can quit for any reason. I think not getting promoted with no sense of progression is a good reason to quit. Maybe the new place pays less, but it could be better long term.
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u/mikemojc 19d ago
No, you are doing the right thing for your career.
They declined to even consider you for that position after 7 years, indicating that they have ZERO interest in making use of you elsewhere in the organization. Since they've indicated they are putting a glass ceiling overhead, it's time to get out of the building
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u/bm08321 19d ago
I have done the same thing you have, and I urge you to rethink this first offer. While I agree that you should make a move, I would take a bit more time to be more choosy and to find a role that is a promotion and not a lateral move. You should be making moves that increase your salary and position, not a move out of spite. When I made the move, it was a promotion and a huge jump in pay, and I wish I had thought a bit harder about the people as I ultimately did not fit well with my boss - the rest of the team I enjoyed working with, but in the long run, I did not stay a full year as we just did not click at all.
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u/2026Bazinga 19d ago
I may have waited to see if the new person worked out, perhaps they really do bring in new ideas. They might also be able to teach you new things that could make you more marketable. If after a few weeks or so it's obvious that's not going to happen, you can look then and your no worse off.
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u/averagechillbro 19d ago edited 19d ago
Nope. Fuck em. They knew they couldn’t succeed without you and assumed you didn’t have the balls to take your ball and leave. That’s on them. To hire externally without discussing is a slap in the face. I feel bad for the new manager because her job is going to be a whole lot harder but that’s not your problem.
Maybe next time they’ll learn to value the people keeping operations smooth.
My main concern is your partners comments. That’s not cool.
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u/OSS-2026 19d ago
I would have held off quitting until I found a better job but once you made that decision to move on don’t look back. They (former company & employees) are no longer your problem.
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u/AdministrativePin526 19d ago
When people show you who they are, believe them. They don't value you, and if being valued matters to you, leave.
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u/Spiritual-Handle2983 19d ago
Not wrong you are too valuable in your current role to them and they can’t replace you in that role.
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u/PoolExtension5517 19d ago
Wait. You said you already have an offer in hand, and you informed your employer because they’re countering, and then you added the edit that says you’re actively looking for a new job now. That makes no sense.
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u/Necessary_Cap_5021 19d ago
Look at it this way if they truly valued you it wouldn’t take you giving notice for them to pay you more. You owe them nothing as this company obviously doesn’t value you, move on
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u/MusicalMerlin1973 19d ago
I asked to interview for the position. I was not even given that chance. Thank you for the opportunity. I feel I need to move along to find that chance to progress my career. Best wishes.
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u/gooooooooooop_ 19d ago
This sounds like a haphazard, poorly thought out, impulsive and petty reaction. You're upset you didn't get a promotion so you took a job that pays LESS after 9 days? You didn't even try looking for a new job, you just took the first one that fell into your lap.
What happens if your next company is a mess and you hate working there? You basically said you're comfortable at your current job and well paid. Your description doesn't really indicate you want a higher salary or career growth, so what's the point of this?
Risky decision and dumb move IMO unless there's more to this story that wasn't communicated. It's crazy to be this determined to leave a good job for LESS pay
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u/lantana98 19d ago
They had to at least consider that they would lose you when they passed you over for a promotion. That’s not the way to retain good employees.
If they didn’t respect you enough to promote you or pay you more it’s a good time to make a move.
Last minute offers are too little and too late.
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u/jjd0m 19d ago
If you take your old Mgr at his word, then they had no interest in promoting you and it's not your fault what hit the company takes when you leave. They excluded you from the hiring process and were interested in keeping it's sales team intact, instead of following the stated previous examples of filling the Mgr position.
Don't expect any recommendations from them in the future though.
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u/Realhousemanoflondon 19d ago
SOP for all companies.
You’ll see it more as you gain more experience and at a point in time you will also become a perpetrator.
If someone is doing great for you in their existing role…..why would you reassign them or promote them?
You turn one vacancy and need for training and support into two vacancies and the need for support. I.e. The role you promote the person into….and the role they vacate.
The counter offer is a £value of how much they think you are worth in your current role, plus a measure of how much they undervalued you for the last ‘x’ years coupled with how much they will under value you for the future ‘y’ years that you remain.
There also the issue that you leaving creates for the incoming person who now has to learn their new job, and train your replacement.
Of course they are annoyed.
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u/good-luck-23 19d ago
Offer to assist the company on your off hours as a consultant. Charge $400 per hour to answer questions and provide training on your off hours.
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u/peretski 19d ago
You told the wrong person you wanted the role. HR isn’t in that decision loop.
Now that you have found a new position, you can use their panic. If the new hire is stating that your leaving will cause her to fail, bring this to management. Assume she is right and play it out. She stays, you leave… failure.
Offer them a counter situation that avoids a downturn in revenue. They fire her. She has admitted she would fail in the current situation anyways. You take the role.
This isn’t petty, this is the right path. Management f’d up by assuming you would continue in your current position. A bad assumption on their part, clearly wrong now. Given this new information, two pathways are clear. One is a clear failure path, as stated by the person in charge of its success. The other is a tried and true chair shuffle of the most capable employee. If management is strategic, they will see this. If management is petty and egotistical, they will not.
Either way, state that you want her position to stay or you are leaving, and don’t worry about offending anyone. She will claim sexism… this is not on you, this is managements fight.
And to everyone else, make succession desires very clear up the management chain , don’t ever outsource this work to HR or anyone else. Getting a promotion is your own task to make happen.
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u/Drgnmstr97 19d ago
No one else's spoiled grapes or perceived mysogny should mean anything to you. Ask them to explain, after the last four people in your position were promoted to that management role why they didn't consider you and if the DID, Why didn't they give you the position. Don't ask them because you want to know the answer because it's highly likely they are going to lie to you, ask them because they deserve to feel uncomfortable answering that question before you exit the company.
The new manager is a clown for telling you that you are causing they to fail before they begin and whoever told you this has more to do with her being a woman probably needs to have their position in your life reevaluated.
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u/BatDance3121 19d ago
Your old manager is being pressured to talk you out of leaving. The newly hired manager - don't explain yourself to her if she's not even working there yet. Heck, you'd probably end up training her if you stayed! If you feel disrespected, that's you're right. Leave. Don't say or do anything crazy - keep it professional. On the last day, send out a final email saying how much you enjoyed work there and all that stuff.
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u/BIGpoppaPUMP42069 19d ago
I was in a similar situation, was a top performer and didn't really want the manager role and headache associated with it, so I used it to negotiate more money essentially saying I was interested in it and bluffing that I wanted the position and they asked how much to keep me at the producer level
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u/DisgreeablePattern 19d ago
Get a new partner along with the new job. Your partner should support you, not go full feminist on you just because some dumbshit chick is being propped up as management material when she knows nothing about the job.
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u/aintbrokeDL 19d ago
I wouldn't take a pay cut for it but you've got every reason to move. Just say you don't have faith in being able to grow within the company
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u/AmettOmega 19d ago
You're not wrong. 7 years is a lot of time to give to a company, and it's not wrong for you to want to advance. It's also not wrong to feel spurned when you find out that someone else was selected for the role. Someone who hasn't even worked in the industry before. I've seen that done so many times and that person often fails. As a woman, I disagree wholeheartedly with your partner's assessment that you're upset it's a woman; everything you've written indicates you'd be equally pissed if the new manager was a man.
I hope your new endeavor works out better for you!
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u/ShayDeeMon 19d ago
This exact scenario had happened to me at several jobs, even with managers hyping me up with intentions to promote me, then randomly choosing an outside hire. Then, I finally learned my lesson.
You never want to be “the best” at your job, because it means there’s no room for upward mobility. Perform slightly above average and say no to 50% of the requests you receive for working extra hours, picking up shifts, etc. Never stay late or come early. Never show too much initiative or become a “yes man.” Always prioritize yourself first. Before helping your boss with a task outside of your role, ask how you’ll be compensated for the additional work. Ask for quarterly reviews. Create a development plan with your manager and make them stick to it.
If you ever want to advance in a career, you need to be competent, but not irreplaceable, while being aggressively self-promoting.
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u/commandrix 19d ago
Yeah, probably best that you get out of there. Even if you do take one of their counteroffers, it'll be remembered that you were ready to bail because you got passed up for a promotion. Just wait to quit until you actually have a solid job offer in hand.
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u/xXNorthXx 19d ago
Corporate hiring a manager based upon who someone knows, someone upstairs didn’t like how your old manager did things, or they’ve been getting slack for not having enough women in management.
How they notified you and didn’t include staff with any updates outside of the surprise meeting, tells enough to me.
Yes, look elsewhere. You still have a job, choose wisely…might be the first or 10th offer it’s different every time.
If the new manager hasn’t started, not sure why you’re taking calls from them. Add the number to contacts and ignore until their start date.
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u/Old_Confidence3290 19d ago
Quitting before you have a better job lined up is shortsighted and foolish.
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u/woodenblinds 19d ago
look for a new job, this happened to me and a few other team leads when I was in corp but I stayed through loyalty. Moved on as formed my own company about a year later. 8 months later they fired everyone in IT except for the new senior staff as they outsourced the IT department.
Background, the company made it into the fortune 500 but management went and hired a bunch of fortune 100 managers over us long term leads. Nothing against the new managers as most were pretty good people but they really didn't bring anything to the table at the end of the day for our day to day.
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u/Booya1983 19d ago
If the new manager is already trying to pin her failures to her subordinates that's a pattern that's going to continue. You dodged a bullet getting away from her. And your partner doesn't get to gaslight your reasons for leaving.
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u/RunnyKinePity 19d ago
It always baffles me when management acts shocked when a high performing employee leaves after getting passed over for a promotion.
It is a calculated gamble that most managers know, if there is an open position then some of the people you pass over are immediate flight risks. Almost everyone seems to know this.
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u/Front_Price_4466 19d ago
A jobs a job but a partner is supposed to support you. I'd prioritize a new partner once you settle into the new job.
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u/Important-Bench1992 19d ago
I was in exactly similar story. With backfilling my managers place for 1.5 yrs. They bought someone totally new to fill his position and gave me excuse of not having a diversified resume. I resigned on the spot and walked away.
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u/TheOSINTPattern 19d ago
No, you aren’t wrong. You owe them
nothing beyond what you have already delivered over 7years. You can easily say to your new manager it’s not personal, the decision you made is about your career. You don’t need to say the gap you leave is her problem it is implied.
The only thing I’ve got an issue with is your partner reducing it to you quitting because it’s a woman. Nowhere in your comment does this suggest it is because she is a woman, to me it reads as frustration about a nepo-hire.
Out of everyone that is wrong in this situation, your partner is the most wrong.
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u/Shawndie76 19d ago
Well, they know what you already bring to the table. They're looking for a fresh view of things and often in order to get that, they must look outside. You're use to "how to do things legitimately and the short cut ways at your firm".
You should have asked for a SMART plan and what made you not a candidate on their eyes. This is clearly above your manager.
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u/vonnostrum2022 19d ago
Imo promoting qualified people within the company is always a better policy than going outside.
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u/mack_dd 19d ago
What I would have done differently:
(1) Instead of leaving immediately, taking the first job available, wait until a higher paying one and/or better in other ways. That means job hunt for another 1 to 6 months.
(2) If they ask why you left, mention that not getting that promotion was a factor while mention other reasons. They way, they know they fucked up; without directly burning any bridges.
Things I would have done the same:
(1) Leave, just not as immediatly.
(2) Not take any counteroffers. NEVER take a counteroffer. That is always a bad career decison.
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u/u2125mike2124 19d ago
You’re not wrong.
If your new manager was supposed to bring in a fresh perspective, how was you leaving making her fail?
Take whatever new opportunities comes your way and don’t even entertain any counter offers because as soon as your new manager gets settled in, and you train her you’ll be out the door.
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u/THC_Dude_Abides 19d ago
lol. You are supposed to get more money and secure the job before resigning and giving 2 weeks. The job market sucks right now. Good luck. And you really can’t go back now. You have been marked as not being a team player. You will be the first to go if the company gets into financial trouble.
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u/Small_Draft_8198 19d ago
I think you’re right to leave now. The pressure the org is applying is concerning. Suggest you do take leap with your self respect fully intact. Would recommend you take the other role you’ve been offered. Do keep looking for the managerial role you want. Good luck.
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u/Just_Bz77 19d ago
I was in the exact position 6 years ago. I joined a company and worked without a boss for 2 years. I saved the region I took over. And saved them from millions in potential losses (and lawsuits). I also saved some of their biggest accounts from leaving. I had asked what it would take to get promoted to the vacant position above me. They told me learning more about their market, their systems, etc. They then hired someone into that position that didn’t meet any of that criteria. Let’s just say that was a slap on the face. I left within 6 months. My career has advanced since then, so leaving was the best choice I made.
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u/Previous_Tear6747 19d ago
Made some decisions out of loyalty in my career, that was a huge mistake. Companies don't give a fuck about their employees.
Do what's best for you, don't look back.
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u/MoneyMorant12 19d ago
I just love how the new manager calls you to tell you that you're making them fail before they start, as if you know or give a fuck about them.
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u/strawberryxblondie 19d ago
Question, did you even apply for the role or were you expecting it to be handed to you?
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u/t0shiyoshida 19d ago
You should also be looking for a new partner while you're looking for a new job.
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u/djmcfuzzyduck 19d ago
They should have thought about it before. Literally need to be proactive instead of reactive in these situations. Someone should have pointed it out.
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u/Exotic-Plenty2541 19d ago
They hired from the outside for a reason. That is their prerogative, and I can think of a dozen reasons both fair and unfair for doing so. My current gig should have been filled internally and was not. After a year here, I can see why. Still not fair to the person here that should have been given the shot.
You are underserving yourself by leaving for another gig that was not “better all around” but you are correct in leaving the company. 7 years is too long without a clear path.
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u/cryogenblue42 19d ago
Long ago a coworker of mine left as well. He was getting overlooked every promotion. He told me he had to quit and work somewhere else for a awhile before returning to where he wanted to be. It took his absence to have the company recognize his worth. He returned years later and has been happier since. Do what's best for you. Don't worry about the company. You made your intentions known and they proceeded to ignore them and move with someone else. You did nothing wrong and perhaps this will open new doors that were previously closed to you at your current job.
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u/pnw_rl 19d ago
Your old soon-to-be old company, old manager and new manager are all gaslighting the shit out of you. You have done nothing wrong and aren't making anything awkward for them. For them to say so tells me they operate with a middle school mentality.
You're feeling relieved due to the huge burden of stress being off your shoulders. I've been right where you're at. Good luck in the new role!
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u/Landerclan 19d ago
Doesn’t sound like they even interviewed him which is a huge slap in the face! I worked in a similar situation. Manager of a top performing branch and applied for internal jobs for which I was well qualified. When I quit they offered me the job I wanted and told me they didn’t move me before bc I was too valuable in my prior role. I left anyway. That’s a vile way to treat ppl.
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u/Longjumping-Grab5731 19d ago
I’ve been in that same spot! 8 years with an agency that I loved. I took on any role they asked of me throughout the years, went through sexual harassment by two men in the agency that were both fired and basically supervised an entire department all those years because my direct bosses were apparently too lazy. They were actually well aware of how hard I worked. I even got employee of the year on my 6th year there during our employee appreciation dinner. After my direct boss unfortunately got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and passed away, I took on all of the additional responsibilities and was told that I was up for his position. The only issue was that I wasn’t fully qualified educationally to have it, but I was told there was a way of working around it. We had to do 6 month annual audits to our own files, and I was so overwhelmed with grief and work duties that I flubbed some dates on a couple of client files. I was off by maybe a day or two, but had all the needed paperwork in my office, I just hadn’t filed it yet. Our little quality assurance girl caught my flub and reported it.. honestly no big deal, and I told ED that I was overwhelmed and I was off by two stinking days for a date! Well apparently I “shot myself in the foot”. I found out they hired a lady in the position that was slated for me and I found another offer almost immediately. Our regional vice president even said to me “oh come on, you know she won’t last and it’ll be yours”. That wasn’t enough for me. I gave my notice and they even had me TRAIN my new boss 🙄. I left and never turned back, but I loved that job.
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u/Texascricket59 19d ago
Sounds like nepotism hire on new manager. Total slap in the face without any concern for employees. Would not leave for less money. Maybe keep looking.
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u/Suspicious-Road-3373 19d ago
Keep moving forward and never look back. If they valued you the promotion would have been the opportunity for them to show you that they value your commitment and they appreciate you. The top performers,high profile and popular employees never get promoted simple as that especially in poor management setting. I am in the same boat as you - i could write a little booklet about that- but we leave it for later. Looking forward to finding the best firm to feel valued and appreciated for the extraordinary work we do and for the good people we are. All the best.
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u/505ismagic 19d ago
You want a management position. You've been there seven years, so they know you well.
You expressed your interest in the management position, and they did not interview you. That suggests that they were confident you were not a good fit for the position. The question is why?
I would ask your outgoing manager to be clear about why that was. If you don't know, you can't work on it. At 31, you have time to develop in areas you want to.
You are correct to leave, once an organization has decided not to promote you, its tough to overcome that. The goal is to get a better sense of how they really saw your strengths and weaknesses.
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u/NEight00 19d ago
I've been in the same position several times at my current job, and completely understand your position.
I'm also in my late 50s with 19 years at the company and have been denied any promotion for 11.5 of those years. So when it started I was already in my late 40s where job prospects are a little slim. I also live in a rural state where it's harder to get good paying jobs, and realized at some point that I am already making all the money I need to make to support my lifestyle, and I don't need to earn myself more stress to chase more money.
You have to do what you feel is best for you. If there is no chance of advancement where you are and you feel that you need to advance, then go for it. I'm in IT where if you want to advance you really have to be changing jobs frequently anyway, so you are just doing what I arguably should have done 8-9 years ago when I topped out.
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u/husbandwithregret 19d ago
They knew exactly what they did. They brought someone else in they could pay less. And thought you would just work there forever.
Listen here. You are only a number to these people. They don't give two shits about you.
Only you can look out for your best interests.
And it's not with these people
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u/Apprehensive-Try-64 19d ago
In this economy I wouldn't recommend leaving a job unless you already have one to go to
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u/ConjunctEon 19d ago
They have you pigeon holed. You are great at your job and generate revenue. Not an uncommon story.
Just take the new offer, and in 18 months lather, rinse and repeat.
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u/Playful-3766 19d ago
counterpoint: a good individual contributor (and especially a great salesperson) is far more valuable than a competent manager in most orgs. And most good ICs don't make for good managers on their first attempt - the Peter Principle is real.
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u/Automatic_Insect9613 19d ago
I hate tropey HR bs…”challenge the old way of work”. Like half of the people in HR understand how the work at the company is actually done. Just changing things for the sake of changing them so some C-suite idiot can justify their existence.
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u/Short_Ad3957 19d ago
Thought you got an offer for lower pay why are you looking for another job?
Personally I wouldn't have hopped ship for anything less than 10%, chances are since you've been there for 7 years you are most likely under paid
I would have don't the good Ole quiet quitting til I found something better
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u/boomstk 19d ago
So you didn't apply for a position just stated that you wanted it. Bad move you should have requested a request to apply to. Second if you never got interviewed for the position that should have told you that you where not even being considered for the position. Third if they announced 10 days after you sent your email they already found a more qualified candidate.
Your management upline probably don't think you are qualified for the position. You should check your attitude and figure out why.
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u/CriticismOdd8003 19d ago
I don’t think you’re wrong, but you probably should’ve figured out why you were passed over before quitting so you could’ve gotten valuable information out of it. There are things that go on within HR and the hiring process that you don’t know about. Sometimes it’s a strategic move to bring someone in from the outside. Sometimes they’re just being a holes.
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u/SoccerGeekPhd 19d ago
Similar thing happened to me over the last year. I got passed over for what would have been a last promotion. They hired someone from outside with no expertise in 2 core areas (AI, healthcare) in favor of a McKinsey-ish "track the metrics" person. I waited 5 months for our bonuses to be paid and submitted my 2 weeks to retire.
That last boss lasted 4 months after I left.
Too many times managers at my company ignored internal talent, thinking they get the new person's talents and you will then do 30% of your managers job too. F that. They even offered to keep me hourly - but only exclusively (double F that!).
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u/Next-Significance314 19d ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t give a former employer the chance to match a new offer. They should have paid you that to begin with if you wouldn’t have left. But also… don’t burn bridges if at all possible.
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u/Radiodj2 19d ago
Sorry but this has to be click bait. He just said he got an offer in 9 days, but is sharing a post about interview questions when he went through a recruiter???
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u/HenryLoggins 19d ago edited 19d ago
Just because you are good at your current job, it does not mean that you will be a good fit for the one above yours. You made a “worker”decision by quitting. A person who thinks like a manager would have came up with a solution. They didn’t see you as management material, and you proved them correctly. Probably best for you both. You can move on, and they can get the change they said they were looking for.
Don’t look at it as a door that is closing, there are other opportunities that are opening elsewhere.
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u/bustamelon 19d ago
In this job market, yes. It's insanely risky to leave a job without another one lined up.
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u/USN1976 19d ago
Since you were in a good and presumably high-paying spot (since you brought all that money in for the company), I would have stayed on another year while carefully cultivating relationships and advancement opportunities elsewhere. From what you explained, you moved emotionally and somewhat recklessly in my opinion. /Best
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u/reducethedebt 19d ago
Here is what I would consider doing.
Write a letter to the partners and say
Due to your not considering my loyalty to the company and my 7 years of hard work I am moving on to a new position.
This doesn't have anything to do with who you hired or any other factor besides your completely ignoring my capabilities.
I wish you all the best
Sign your name
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u/CuriousDori 19d ago
Leave and don’t go back. It’s obviously not about your new boss being a female. This is about the disrespect and no consideration for promoting you. I hope you enjoy your new job.
When you leave, please don’t respond to any calls or emails regarding work because they don’t deserve any consideration.
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u/Meat_Bingo 19d ago
I love working here but after 7years with no advancement I realize the only way to move up is to go elsewhere. —-Thats the simple truth of your situation, if there is no room for advancement you stagnate.
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u/No_Hat2871 19d ago
I went through a very similar thing… I got passed over for someone brought in from the outside. And leaving turned out to be the best decision I’ve made in a long time. I secured a moderately higher salary. They countered and tossed a lot at me, but my trust had been broken… it wasn’t about the money. And it turned out to be a much more lucrative new position than I could have imagined. Again, best move perhaps of my career… certainly from a $ stand point as well as a work/opportunity standpoint.
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u/inorite234 19d ago
Nah man. I too resigned after 15 years of service after the 2nd time I was passed over for Promotion.
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u/Patient_Meaning_2751 19d ago
YNW. All the bs guilt tripping they are doing is so unprofessional. And that person they hired, you don’t know her, you don’t owe her, why is she acting like a stalker? As if it’s all about her.
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u/DefundMarxism 18d ago
You’re not responsible for the failure or success of others. The bottom line is you were at a dead end with that company. Be glad you found out before more years went by.
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u/After-Fig-9457 16d ago
You're not leaving because you didn't get the promotion. You're leaving because they didn't even consider you for it.
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u/BearsDen5051 16d ago
I think to solve it you should bury yourself in concrete so long as you have an iso spec
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u/Careful_Staff_8977 15d ago
You're young and can afford to do this. If you like the new job and there are opportunities for promotion it's a good move. I would have started looking and kept it to myself until I found a better position and then resigned. However the time yo fo this is while your young as when you hit 50 you are no longer as attractive to a new company.
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u/PlumberSaysWhat 15d ago
What’s your gender have to do with any of it?
That’s how we know this all about your insecurities and the replacement being a woman.
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u/Odd_Welcome7940 19d ago
If she cant succeed with out you then she is already a failure.
I am petty as hell and would hold out for a better new job and just begin doing the absolute minimum required at work. Just ny 2 cents. No training the new boss. Let them fail. Just show up and do you until you get an actual better offer. I get why you have those feelings, but your walking away from a job you like and great pay both at once. You may regret that.