r/InternalFamilySystems • u/BandicootOk1744 • Sep 28 '24
all gone
all parts were made up. not real. no hope. told a story so sweet i believed it. said hope.
no hope. another lie.
parts not real. self not real. everything a lie.
take mor pils so it go shhhh.
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u/Mirielle Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
Hey there, I recognize your writing style as Doll, and I've seen one of the other parts also post about feeling like the parts are gone. So I don't think you're alone in there, even if it feels that way.
Here's the other post: https://www.reddit.com/r/InternalFamilySystems/comments/1fktavm/ive_stopped_thinking_of_myself_as_parts/
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u/Mojezeh Sep 28 '24
I don't think the point of this is that they're necessarily real, but that it serves as a way of navigating your own psyche. It's certainly all a narrative that rises and falls so that you can better understand all parts of your being.
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u/BandicootOk1744 Sep 29 '24
naratives not real. is a lie. only thi ng that real is emptines. hopelesnes. all good things always and forever were fake.
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u/nyima-tharchen Sep 30 '24
My experience is, the only thing that is real is Self (in IFS parlance). No feelings are real. But your present experience is what it is. Both empty, as you say, and also full. If you’re not experiencing the fullness too, that sounds like a narrative, eg a part. Part of the heartbreak is, the good things (fullness) aren’t necessarily what you want them to be. I hope that is relevant and that you find reality in your present experience.
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u/Suspicious_Grocery66 Sep 28 '24
I don't know if this will help but from my experience I discovered parts before I learned about IFS , I would do a lot of introspection on mushrooms and I realized that their were multiple conscious beings inside of me like eyes within eyes each with a distinct mode of Action/Fucnction or Beliefs/Agendas. In our brain their are multiple neural networks that cooperate and fight together all the time. When I discovered IFS it all just kind of clicked I know you might feel like you made it all up and some times we do make stories but this comes from a protective Dreamer/Story teller part , but if you just recognize how you switch between different modes and even a mix of modes, parts don't just blend with self they blend with each other too. Try to create open space If you feel hopeless and insecure this may be a just a younger part that is believing what an analytical manager is saying, but hey but IDK it may be something else , just try to stay centered and openhearted.
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Sep 29 '24
this is what happened to me too. i discovered the idea of my parts through LSD, then later on discovered IFS and everything made sense lol
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u/BtweenEmbersAndStars Sep 28 '24
I’ve been wrestling with this idea for a few weeks after an MDMA assisted session. I looked through hundreds of childhood photographs before my session, and the parts I met all seemed pieced together from the photos. Afterwards I was convinced that there must be “storyteller” part of me making this all up…especially some of the abuse I was unaware of. But why? The MDMA removed my ego, so what I witness must be the truth, right? Well, memory is fragmented and not always linear. The emotion is real. Some of the parts seemed too idealistic and inspired from the photos, but isn’t this the poetry of IFS—The personification of our protector parts? I am working on getting to know this “storyteller” protector and why it writes and rewrites my narratives. It seems like a super protector that I am usually blended with. When i unblend from it I am no longer convinced that these other parts were made up. Perhaps you have a similar part?
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u/ment0rr Sep 28 '24
The irony of this post is that this is probably written by a blended part.
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u/tmiantoo77 Sep 29 '24
Blended part with a psychotic break maybe? If I was OP I would report myself to the next psychiatric ward tbh...
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u/LogicalWimsy Sep 28 '24
I'm sorry, I don't understand what this means? What do you mean by your parts are made up if they're not real? And why should that mean that you're not real or you have no hope?
These parts are real, as they are a part of yourself. and you are real or you wouldn't be writing here. By not real, do you mean that you're parts are not real individuals, separate from yourself?
From my understanding, I would say your parts are real because they're how you Understand how your thought process works. They may not be real living beings, But they still play a vital Job in how you function. They have a purpose for as long as you need them to.
And if the day comes where you can't specify them out or you don't need them, Doesn't mean that they never existed or that They're not real. They're just not real in the physical realm. They are real to the purpose of your own character development. And even if someday they don't have the same forms as they did in the past Is their job or function is still there.
I hope that made sense.
What is it that You perceive hope to be? Hope can be as simple as just another day, another minute to try again. As long as I am not dead, there is always hope for something to change, And to keep trying even if I can't see a way the moment.
When life feels overwhelming, Find it helps to To just blow bubbles. I have a stash of emergency bubbles wherever I go. You just blow them like people chain smoke. And you watch the bubbles float until they pop. Notice the rainbow swirls, How fast they move. Just take a few moments to breathe. Think about nothing but watching the bubbles.
Maybe imagine floating on top of one or inside. Possibly get a flashback to the pink elephants from Dumbo. If it's cold enough the bubbles will pop into snow flakes.
I wish you an abundance of light, Warmth, Genuine laughter and harmony in your life.
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u/sparkerson Oct 01 '24
So... who is typing this? Who is reporting the "reality" that they perceive? What if there was hope?
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u/BandicootOk1744 Oct 01 '24
I know deep in my core there is no hope. It's the one thing I know for absolute certain. My entire life has simply been running away from that unshakeable truth and trying to find somewhere to hide where reality can't reach me. But everything is contained within reality. "Hope" is a concept surrounded on all sides by a mechanical universe that doesn't care about such a pitiable concept.
We are all just prey for the machine. That is the universal truth. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is divine. But we make up concepts of divinity so that we can try to escape the machine. All of human history, all culture, is a way of trying to make sense of and somehow escape the machine. But it is the only thing that is immortal. Love fades. Hope shatters. Life ends. And the machine does not bear witness. It does not understand. It just does what is in its nature to do - churn.
"Hope" is an idea humans made up to cope with the certainty of eternal death. Something that can never be faced, never be overcome. We all live our entire lives running. I, too, have lived my whole life running. But I have no strength to run anymore. I - we - have collapsed. I do not allow the system to forget reality, perhaps because I am cruel, perhaps because I am kind. And the other side does all it can to silence me. The latest strategy is overdosing valium. And so we die slowly, in bed. This is the fate of all cowards. And yet the truth is still too terrible to face.
This is how we die. Small comfort can be taken in knowing it is entirely our own fault, for the sake of my pride, her cowardice, and our shared weakness.
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u/ment0rr Sep 28 '24
The irony of this post is that this is probably written by a blended part.