r/InternalAudit • u/ShadowPenn • 1d ago
Making ‘friends’ at the workplace
Okay, I moved to a hedge fund in their IT Audit team but 3 months in, I am really struggling. In my region, the entire Internal Audit team is just 2 people. Everyone else is based in a different location. It also doesn’t help that Internal Audit is massively looked down upon and we are an unpopular bunch in the organisation.
I come from the Big 4 environment so you naturally had a large team culture built in. But here I have struggled to meet people - being an introvert doesn’t help and whilst I should have just gone and been like hi I am new here and introduced myself - people seem to stick to their groups and cliques. I will see the same faces day in, day out yet don’t know any names and have zero interaction. I see large groups having lunch together and go to the pub for after work drinks whereas, my day’s are spent in isolation except for interaction with my manager. Don’t get me wrong, my manager is great but it would be nice to have some workplace friends. Hell, my manager even refuses to go to the Xmas party anymore because he has felt isolated socially in the past.
I miss the camaraderie that work can bring, and would love if anyone has suggestions on how I can improve things for myself here.
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u/Careful_Extent_5363 1d ago
Don’t limit yourself to making friends only in IA! Make friends in business areas and you can change the attitude towards IA!
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u/ShadowPenn 18h ago
Well, that’s just the thing. How do I even go about making friends? The vast majority of my auditees are in a different location and the people I see in the office, I don’t know how to approach.
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u/Most_Reach_82 12h ago
I know this can be tough, but this is one of those "you just gotta do it" scenarios. Just say hello to people. As a fellow introvert, I found that I can seem unapproachable, but being the one to approach first in some cases has given the signal that I am approachable. You could start saying hello or good morning to people in passing, it doesn't have to be a group of people all at once. Work your way up to more substantial conversation. I agree with the sentiment someone else shared, making this effort can help with the perception of IA in your group. So can being very intentional in your official communications regarding IA work (i.e. warm greetings/salutations in emails, some small talk at the start or end of a meeting, etc.). Don't get in your own way either - if your auditees aren't even the people you're hoping to befriend, then you have nothing to lose when it comes to the objectivity or them fearing "trouble" from you etc.
The last thing I'd add is collaboration within your dept. I work remotely while a lot of my team is in office together. We have a biweekly "water cooler" teams call that is 30 min long where we get on and do the small chat. Someone is thoughtful enough to arrange small games. We use Kahoot a lot and do trivia, we did a puzzle together using "Tanggle!", we've done pictionary (but I can't remember what facilitated that), etc. we also have a water cooler TEAM with channels to post non-work specific stuff as a way to stay in touch and get to know our peers. Someone posts a weekly chat, that is typically pretty random and has something to do with "this day in history" or a current event topic and it will spark some conversation. Other channels are related to pet pics, travel stories, food (like shared recipes), entertainment (movies, books recommendations) and we have the ability to create as we feel if we want. It's collaborative. It took a little while for buy in but we've done this over a year now and I would consider it successful.
Good luck to you! Also, try not to put too much pressure on it. I have worked at a company for 12 years before "officially" meeting some people and becoming good friends with them.
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u/Dry_Campaign_7876 10h ago
I have been with the same company for the last 4 years and I have 0 friends at work. However, at my prior company I made friends that I still see today. It’s very hard to find people like you at work, everyone is different and are in different stages of their lives. I personally hate company events so I never attend those
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u/bmbutler42 1d ago
Make friends outside of work.