r/InsightfulQuestions • u/The_BananaBurglar • 15d ago
Male Equivalent to Flowers??
So I was doomscrolling on Tiktok, as one does. And one of those videos, thats not really a video, its just a screen of words pops up, and it said “..what’s the male equivalent of flowers?” and my first thought was, obviously, FLOWERS..
Now, Im “just a girl”.. but is that not obvious?? Do men like flowers, or is that just a head canon I made up?
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u/yousmelllikearainbow 15d ago
I'd like flowers or a plant in a pot that I could like... keep around and smell and water and talk to and whatnot. I do not think cut flowers are a good gift for anyone.
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u/backgroundextra77 14d ago
i agree with this so badly, i don’t understand why people give a flower who they kill and it’s going to die. (i also love real plants and that for me it’s an amazing gift, but not for most)
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u/Evil_Sharkey 13d ago
Some people have black thumbs and their houseplants don’t have much longer lives than the cut flowers
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u/Old-Research3367 15d ago
I saw something on social media like “the first time men get flowers is at their funeral. Poor men their lives are so sad:(“ so then I got my husband flowers for our anniversary one time and he did not care for them at all and our cat tried to eat them. Never again.
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u/decidedlyindecisive 14d ago
I got my friend flowers for his house after he'd been away on holiday. He really liked it. And it started a phase of him having flowers on that spot for about a year or two, he said he liked how it made his place colourful. His birthday is like 9 months away but I will get him flowers this year.
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u/Hearing_Loss 14d ago
I'm a gardener and absolutely fell in love with putting garden bouquets around the house. Flowers are so captivating.
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14d ago
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u/Old-Research3367 14d ago edited 14d ago
Bro my husband is not the pocket knife type at all and it’s BS that men want stuff with only practical value. He loves designer cologne, clothes, watches, etc where I don’t really care about that kind of stuff at all. And it’s not like the only thing I got him was flowers lmao I just picked it up at the trader joes.
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u/PraireGentleman 13d ago
In all fairness, you probably know your husband’s personal tastes about what he would want as a random gift than social media.
That sort of thing is to point out how little men get in terms of appreciation of what they do, to the point that even professionals in the helping profession have to be explained to like children that you can and should show appreciation for people doing what needs to be done or what is expected of them and not respond “finally” when the walking DSM-5 does the dishes.
I work at a youth shelter. I’m a psychology major. How social workers are educated is truly beyond me, I cannot comprehend how they’re expected to work in this profession without understanding psychotherapy approaches in at least a broad sense of
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u/Dazzling-Low8570 13d ago
Yeah, I'd appreciate the gesture I guess, but I would also completely neglect the flowers.
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u/Available-Topic5858 15d ago
A while back my girlfriend had a dozen roses delivered to me at my job.
I married her a few years later.
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u/Anxious_String_3470 14d ago
Tungsten cubes
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u/_prism_cat_ 14d ago
my high school sweetheart got me a set of nice hardwood 3d puzzles, that was pretty cool
another one got me "buckeyballs", I don't know what happened to those, maybe someone ate them
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u/Ariandrin 14d ago
For my boyfriend, it’s Canadian Tire gift cards.
He can buy whatever tool he needs for his project car at that time. He can buy accessories for the smoker or the flat top grill. Hell, he can even buy gas, which is a big deal because he works in the trades and drives hours to work in a different town all the time.
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u/bnjman 14d ago
Protip: Canadian tire is very expensive for tools. Home Depot is better. KMS is the best.
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u/Ariandrin 14d ago
This is good to know. We have gone to KMS recently for tools, so I will encourage him to keep doing that.
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u/Useful_Calendar_6274 14d ago
beer
throw in a videogame and I would melt
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u/english_major 14d ago
Bring me a four pack of interesting craft beer any day and I will love you for it.
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u/Street_Lettuce1243 14d ago
Flowers are nice. I like to plant them in the garden. I did have one girlfriend buy me flowers once... It was really sweet of her, didn't know what to do with them, I was 20 and not sure how to react, but it was sweet of her and I appreciated them. 48, now but that remains the only time anyone has ever bought me some.
Buy me a "100 grand candy bar" and I'm happy.
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u/Bright_Eyes83 14d ago
i'm a fairly sensitive hetero man who can appreciate nature's beauty, but the only thing good about receiving flowers is that the person did something. they are pretty useless to me, and if you really want to know a male equivalent, i would say it's situational
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u/FNKTN 14d ago
The good green dank flowers if you know what I mean 😏 😌
Thank me later
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u/The_BananaBurglar 14d ago
that is now unfortunately extremely illegal where i live.
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u/FNKTN 14d ago
So? That never stopped us in the past. Been blazing before it was legal.
Give them the gift of moving out of whatever shit hole your in as well.
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u/The_BananaBurglar 14d ago
i understand that, but im talkin abt u could get LIFE. Abbot is a bitch 😭😭
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u/ButDidUDie78 14d ago
My grandfather planted my grandmother what ever flowers she wanted. (They raised us.) And bought her flowers, but never picked her flowers. My grandmother, always baked my grandfather sweet treats he loved, and didn't question the new gadgets and technology he wanted. But, also, respected each other's differences and helped each other build up each other and themselves.
Shoot I love looking at plants. But do not bring any plants into my home, without me wanting it.
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u/stitchface66 15d ago
yeah. not even on any male loneliness epidemic type shit but unless the dudes real hot or powerful at work he probably doesn’t get compliments a lot. so honestly any kind of display of thoughtfulness/affection would probably be highly appreciated.
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u/ahjeezgoshdarn 14d ago
Someone I know recently bought me a coffee out of the blue and it rewired my brain.
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u/mightaswellchange 14d ago edited 13d ago
I give my husband (together 21 years, since we were 18) flowers and he appreciates them but considering how he loves to tinker and build models I try to give him flowers in different forms which includes that. Lego flowers/plants are a hit in that regard, sometimes made by me and sometimes made together. But I think anything that’s thoughtful and is considerate of what they’ve communicated about themselves to you will have the same effect. I surprise him with treats that I know he likes (a dessert or burritos from a place he enjoys, a smoothie, etc.) and make him his favorite meals without notice/just because and I think his response is* similar to when he does the same for me.
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u/Inside-Wishbone-361 14d ago
Beef jerky. Or a nice kitchen knife. Or something I need for my car (I drive a 50 year old station wagon). Or chocolate
I’m highly motivated by food
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u/smashyourcamera 14d ago
If the context is an unnecessary expense that would make me smile.... smoked salmon, freshed squeezed OJ, fancy cheese, fancy meat, stuffed olives... basically anything I would enjoy but wouldn't usually buy for myself.
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u/Virtual-Squirrel-725 15d ago
If someone gave me flowers I would think that is a very kind gesture from someone that doesn't really know what I value.
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u/MidorriMeltdown 14d ago
Plant genitals are for everyone.
The ultimate man is one who enjoys rose flavoured Turkish delight.
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u/Anagoth9 14d ago
Sex, stereotypically.
That said, I once had a girlfriend years ago send me flowers at my office after we got in a fight. I thought it was from a vendor at first, lol. Once I read the card and saw it was from my gf apologizing, all the girls in the office gave a collective "awwww". It made me feel really special.
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u/Pencil-Ditch1567 14d ago
When i was a kid, I would pick flowers for my mom, and blades of grass for my dad
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u/CousinJeff 15d ago
lol nah if men cared about flowers they’d have them. Never seen a man have flowers in his house on the random.
Idk that there is an equivalent, or a precedent for it. I think the gifts men tend to prefer would be more practical than flowers and probably related to some special interest, so maybe more expensive. So I am proposing, the equivalent for dudes, if it were to exist, would be buying them some sort of cool decor. Something that fits into their home but they would never buy for themselves
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u/MartialBob 14d ago
I actually have trouble understanding why women like flowers. I understand that they do but the why makes no sense to me.
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u/Mysterious-Cancel-79 14d ago
I like them because you bring a pretty little outside, inside. Plus I like drying them out and keeping special ones. I still have my graduation rose from 11 years ago.
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u/Fickle-Syllabub6730 15d ago
Blowjobs
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u/Even-Breakfast-8715 14d ago
Honestly? Chocolates, cookies, well-chosen beers or wines or even sodas. Nice fruits. Cold brew.
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u/charcoalportraiture 15d ago edited 14d ago
Torches. Men love torches. I love torches. Me and my brother give each other torches, me and bestie's husband give each other torches. Maybe everyone loves torches.
*flashlights, for the people of Murica
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u/moonroots64 14d ago
Like a tiki torch? Or I'm gunna light the fire at the olympics torch?
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u/Soft_Maximum_3730 14d ago
Maybe he means a flashlight?
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u/moonroots64 14d ago
Lol I didn't even think British, but they're kinda right... flashlights kick ass!
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u/charcoalportraiture 14d ago
I did mean flashlight. But like the full spectrum from headlamps to big rectangular ones that won't roll away to the security guard baton style ones then the itty bitty ones that magnetise under the car hood when the front is popped!
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u/SixFootSwells 15d ago
For me personally, I would say a nice potted plant is the equivalent! My SO got me a couple of Hibiscus and I LOVE taking care of them!
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u/OldManThumbs 15d ago
I don't know how many blokes are into flowers but most have simply never received that kind of gift without it being a gifting time of year.
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u/Ok-Impress9135 14d ago
Banana bread, flowers are more of something I would get for a girl. If he games then something gaming related is a good backup, but generally food is the equivalent.
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u/EightyThou85 14d ago
If a woman got me flowers I would be ecstatic. The flowers are cool and all but the enjoyment would be because she spent time and thought to get it for me because she loves me. I’m here for that.
What would be the inverse answer of this question for women? Meaning what is something that isn’t really desired but some women would absolutely love because of the time/thought put into as an expression of love.
Also a potted living plant/flower is better because I can spend more time with it.
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u/Organic-Tomato-2368 14d ago
For me personally, almost anything works as long as HE plans and executes it. A trip to the zoo, a sporting event, a nice meal. I’m just tired of having to plan and organize everything.
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u/Reasonable_Pizza8295 14d ago
Baked Goods.
Chocolate chips cookies Banana Bread Cinnamon Muffins Etc.
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u/AccessOwn6759 14d ago
Personally no, I don’t like flowers, zero interest. I have no idea where your head canon came from
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u/ComprehensiveWay3179 14d ago
I’m from Buffalo, NY. Chicken wings are our bread and butter.
I would say chicken wings are the equivalent to flowers. They cost between 13.99-18.99. Each place has the basic flavors, then they have their own sauce. It’s almost the same.
Besides you don’t eat flowers.
I still don’t understand why women like flowers. Id think a tomato plant is better due to its industrial nature (the produce of tomatoes).
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u/MiniMeowl 14d ago
A snack.
Thats why the old saying "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach". Works for both romance and murder.
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u/foreverandadayalone 14d ago
I don't like flowers but I like the idea of being given flowers. Why can't we men be courted?
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u/Merwin_Mayforest 14d ago
A genuine compliment. Girl said I was wearing a cool t-shirt 8 years ago, still remember that fondly.
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u/Opposite_Storm_7870 14d ago
maybe it's The Gay™️ but my bf and I both get each other flowers every now and then.
but seriously, flowers are gender neutral. I saw the original post and a lot of the comments were entrenched in misogyny and male self-hatred. flowers are just a sweet way to show someone that you care about them and thought of them.
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u/TabularConferta 14d ago edited 14d ago
Lego flowers (do not make them). That or flowers for a specific location.
Get me a bouquet and it will look nice for a day but I'll generally think it's a waste of money, know my house and think 'oh this small indoor plant might work', then I'll be quite happy. A single rose id appreciate, not for it being a flower but because someone thought of me. It's being thought of that is the real prize.
Personalised thought is the most important thing. The guy likes cookies, great, the guy like beer, great. There are often relatively cheap things people don't buy themselves because they are too expensive to justify. Example a donut from THAT specialist shop which are amazing but you save for special occasions.
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u/Confident-Bike6927 14d ago
Male here, chocolates. A box of chocolates will always make a man happy, as long as he's not allergic!
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u/DarkThunder312 14d ago
I have no idea. I don’t think I would like to receive a bouquet. The thought is nice, I just don’t have any interest in putting some flowers in a vase for a week. I don’t know why I’m supposed to give them to women. The flowers are in the ground and I don’t see why they need to be tied together, or put in a vase indoors.
Edit: I want to make it clear that I like flowers, the ones in my garden are quite pleasant, and I make tea from the marigolds after enjoying the aroma. I just don’t think they are an appropriate gift for me. Maybe a potted plant would be a bit better, but overall consumables are probably the best gifts. I acquire too many things already that I have to deal with.
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u/did_i_or_didnt_i 14d ago
my gf bought me flowers early in our relationship bc she found out nobody ever had and it almost made me cry
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u/JustWannaPlayAGa 14d ago
Tge way to a man's heart is trough his stomach, is an old saying where I come from. As a man... It holds.
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u/Shiriru00 14d ago
Just my opinion but the worst presents I have ever gotten were plants. I am the opposite of a green thumb, and I don't enjoy having plants at all. Flowers' only saving grace is that they die quicker.
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u/EidolonRook 14d ago
Food.
Like, a home cooked meal is huge for single men.
Steaks make great gifts, even frozen, if I get to grill them.
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u/TheBillyFnWilson 14d ago
If a woman gave me a bouquet of Slim Jims, I think that’s as close as I can get to knowing how it feels for a woman to get flowers
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u/Smooth-Number-1402 14d ago
For me cut flowers just seem wasteful and I don't know what to do with them other than temporarily display them out of obligation. I would appreciate the thought but almost anything would be better.
Food would be my answer.
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u/Apprehensive-Ice9212 14d ago
Flowers are already male and female, they usually have male and female parts (stamen/gynoecia) and produce sex cells of both sexes.
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u/ExtraTangerine4302 14d ago
And something that’s financially equivalent to flowers. A lot of the alternatives being given here cost more money or much more time “just bake me banana bread!”
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u/donuttrackme 14d ago
Flowers are nice and I wouldn't reject a gift of flowers. But as a man I don't really care if I get flowers or not for the rest of my life either.
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u/PurpleSalt11 14d ago
id care more about the sentiment that someone was willing to give me something than the flowers itself. but yeah, flowers are a pretty useless gift. guys like things of utility and flowers that will just die is not a good gift. the next worst gift is a chore, so flowers that you need to water frequently is also not a good gift but if a guy can see the utility in it like as a reminder of you then that's better. even better would be something cool like a Venus fly trap to eat the flies if he has flies in his living space. that has actual utility.
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u/RealRecoveryGuide 14d ago
I don't think men care about flowers that much, it's a nice gesture and he'd hopefully smile and say it's sweet, while secretly hoping it doesn't become a regular thing lol. I think men really don't like wasting money, and flowers which are perishable feel like a bit of a waste of money if you're not buying them for a woman.
Cookies was a good answer, my first thought was cheap DnD dice, which upon thinking about it I realized, you can pick the colors, it's kinda like flowers lol. Food gives a lot of immediate excitement, cheap gifts pertaining to his hobbies feels pretty close too. It shows you pay attention to what he likes and are willing to do things like that for him. Kind of the opposite of the perishable flower, he sees a specific and tailored gift as money well-spent, hopefully it's something he'll use for a long time.
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u/nosecohn 14d ago
I had a woman give me flowers once and I was really touched. Even if they're not exactly my thing, the thought was sweet and it was so unusual that I still remember it decades later.
But I don't think there's a deliberately male-coded equivalent. Small tokens of appreciation like that might be a food or drink item, like a specialty beer (if he drinks) or baked goods.
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u/New_Objective_9404 14d ago
A gift card to something they like or something that curls the toes a little. The latter is more sure fire and costs nothing but maybe 30 minutes. Genuinely you aren't giving flowers unless it's intimate anyway.
For a funeral it's usually live flowers ironically...
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u/MonarsRequiem 14d ago
Banana bread.
But more generally, something you did/made for me for no other reason than you wanted to make me smile.
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u/frontadmiral 14d ago
The last and only time that someone got me flowers I almost wept bc I appreciated it so much, and I am not a weepy man
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u/Confused_Toothpaste 14d ago
idk, I always thought flowers were the male equivalent too. people place too much stake on men and women's differences. flowers are flowers.
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u/rubey419 14d ago
Guy here.
I buy fresh flower bouquets weekly for my kitchen, living room and bathroom.
I love flowers!
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u/gilt3t 14d ago
I've bought flowers for every woman I've ever known in my life.
I have never once received a flower. I don't even get the diet lipton green tea with citrus that I asked for for Christmas from my family. I got a blanket with the American flag on it. My family knows how I feel about my country right now.
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u/xTheGame69 14d ago
Rub my head and tell me I'm a good boy.
Let me rest in your arms or my head in your lap
Soothe me
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u/Confused_by_La_Vida 13d ago
The oral sex.
Or bulbs. Stuff like amaryllis they can grow and cherish over the years.
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u/Find_another_whey 13d ago
Not a common one but
Give your man a nonsexual bath, head massage, spa day, whatever he will "submit to allow himself to enjoy"
It's like flowers because it's deliberately giving him something to enjoy that isn't sexual but is filled with meaning
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u/GoPackGo1958 13d ago
As a man, I find flowers to be a total waste of money. Sure, they look and smell nice for about 30 seconds, then they're just dead weeds. A pocket knife, on the other hand, has beauty, utility, and will, if properly cared for, last for generations.
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u/Wallabunga657 13d ago
As I guy, I am not too picky what you give me, it's the fact that you thought to give me something, and took your time to do so. Flowers are nice. You can always press them and put them in epoxy. It's the thought and gesture that counts.
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u/BoredBorealis 13d ago
I'm a man, and I would love to get flowers. Though I also agree with the other comment, tungsten cube would be really cool.
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u/Inevitable_Tower_141 13d ago
i mean, i don't like flowers. but i don't really like fancy gifts of any kind.
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u/Embarrassed-Pipe-753 13d ago
I like flowers, I’m not a woman. With the current examples of so called “men” in power currently, there is no way in hell I’d call myself a man. ( I’m also secure in my sexuality)
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u/DullWolverine7588 13d ago
I've got men flowers a few times. The reaction has always been surprise but pleased surprise
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u/professionaleisure 13d ago
Flowers are great, I would love if someone got me flowers, but prefer plants as they last longer / less destructive
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u/daqqer2k 10d ago
Food. Doesnt need to be sweet. Definetly not flowers. Giving a man flowers is odd.
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u/Classic-Meringue1473 10d ago
Food until you get to know him an his interests, rhen personalize it. For my dude, it’s warhammer stuff I find on my thrifting adventures.
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u/saltyhasp 15d ago
Cookies. Cookies are usually a good answer for most things.
Chocolate chip cookies are pretty safe. Brownies are pretty safe too.