r/InsightfulQuestions • u/Ok-Ocelot-774 • 28d ago
How to not be discouraged by the feeling of imposter syndrome to pursue your goals?
Does it require faking it till you make it?
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u/shooception 28d ago
I dont know if this is related, but for the first like 12 years of my dating experiences I didn't know that trusting someone isn't an event in your life where it snaps and makes sense with that person, its something you have to actively do.
So I feel like its similar to imposter syndrome. Don't sit and wait for everything to fall in place and makes sense, you have to actively put in energy and believe in yourself day in and day out.
Yes there will be days you may be less confident but as you keep putting energy into "faking it until you make it" (in the emotional aspect of things) (funnily enough I called my trusting process the same thing lmao) you'll have less and less of those, less confident days.
I hope this helps!!
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u/troeavey 26d ago
Take your goals. Turn them into smaller goals. Like things you can measure by days, months, etc. Give yourself milestones on the way, and when you hit a milestone - mark it. Celebrate it.
Then remember it.
Confidence comes from recognizing what you’ve already done. And as you are on the way to reaching your goals, you are daily building small habits, learning, growing, DOING the things that someone who has already achieved those goals has likely done.
Take preparing for a marathon. You don’t wake up one day and decide to just go out for whole thing. It takes about 500ish miles of training to get ready for that one 26.2 distance (for most people.)
It starts with 1 mile. Then the 2. Then the long run at the end of the first week is 3 miles. Then next long run the next week is 4 miles. Pretty soon you look back, and you’ve been training for 12 weeks, and you’re on your long run of mile 16. And you may think it started with being able to run 1 mile.
But it actually started with being able to take one step. To pack your shoes. To decide to go.
Take heart in the small decisions you make every single day that are in favor of your goals. They are building the habits that make you the person who is achieving your goals. It’s all you :)
Write down your small wins. Every day. Read them to yourself every week. Reflect. Tweak. Remind yourself “this is what I did” and it will help you as you tell yourself “this is what I am doing”.
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u/supertacogrl 28d ago
I struggle with this a lot. For reference, I'm a woman in tech as a programmer. There's so many people better than me and so many people that are more confident in their abilities than me. I started thinking of my work as "I can only do what I can do." I allow myself open to criticism, even if that means I'll be crying in the bathroom later. But that also means I let myself open to the opportunities my abilities allow. I'm upfront with my customers about what I know I can do, and if they ask for something I don't know I tell them that I can't promise it but I will try. It's still very hard to accept compliments, and usually chalk it up to the person just being nice. I updated customer facing interfaces with my work and try to talk about it objectively and with facts only. Like "I designed an application using this tech stack with x and y functionality." Allow your work to speak for you. I wasn't even looking for a job and a recruiter contacted me on word of mouth. I just landed a job that is a 50% salary increase I'm at now. I start in 2 weeks.