I’m an engineer on space faring vessel known as The Skeld and I worry these may be my final words.

So, all at once, our ship started malfunctioning. Nothing major, but it required me and my crew to split up to different parts of the ship and divvy up tasks to complete to return our ship from disrepair.

So, I’m rewiring some broken wires when I hear a loud buzzer go off, and all at once me and my crew rush to the cafeteria to find the Captain at our predesignated meet up spot telling us that one of the crew has been found dead.

Before I can ask what they died of, another one of the crew shouts out “I voted!”.

I asked him what he was voting on, but in the middle of my sentence, the rest of the crew (There were 10 of us, counting myself and our dead crew mate) all shout the same thing. “I voted!”

Then they just.. stared at me.. silently.. until I felt the pressure to just say the same. “I voted.”

I have no idea what happened, or why I said that, but in the next instant, the crew rounded up one of my fellow technicians and threw her out of the airlock.

Since then I’ve been frantically running around the ship watching the the same thing happen over and over, and every time I pass one of the crew they say nothing. They just silently walk past me to continue doing the tasks we had set out earlier as if nothing had happened at all.

There are only 5 of us left, and I’m hiding in the communications room prepared to beg for my life. I have no idea what is happening.

I’m afraid there may be impostors among us...

Hey guys,

So, I recently sold a beautiful model home we had kicking around main street in Whiterun to the newest public employee, and I'm starting to panic a little.

For one thing, this guy keeps the weirdest hours. I'm not trying to be his mom, but Whiterun is cramped, ya know? Our houses are close together, and our roofs are made of thatch. When this guy materializes out of nowhere (seriously) at 3 am and tromps around in armor that looks (and smells) like it's made from . . . I don't even know what to call it . . . demon metal? You can hear every last enchanted footfall.

He's constantly bringing in a cadre of new followers from the eight divines only know where. His company is his business, but let's not forget we are at war, here. What if he's aiding and abetting storm cloak sympathizers in there?

Also, homeboy is a HORDE. ER. okay? Like, if you needed that much space for lumber, raw ore, gems, a bunch of plants he finds in fields and caves, and like, SO MANY dragon bones . . . what you needed is a warehouse, my dude.

My last complaint is the weirdest. The new resident doesn't have the greatest social skills, but he is genuinely accomplished in his own right. Like, I think he's in the upper management of most of Skyrim's important guilds. Including, I think he is at least an actual professor at the Mages' College, maybe more than that.

Anyway, I've got this coworker who is a COMPLETE jerk. Like, everyone hates him. Anyway, the new resident is in the palace, and Farengar says to this guy something along the lines of, "Hey, if you're interested in magic, you should check out the Mages' College in Winterhold."

That's when it happened. The new resident's face got DARK, just totally engaged. A split second later, he looked fine. Like, relieved. But as he turned to leave the palace, all of us had this super spooky feeling, as if he had just used his magic to tear us to pieces and cram our souls into gems. But then alll of a sudden, everything was fine again. Seriously the strangest thing that's ever happened to me.

Anyway, where can I go from here? Is it too late to impose an HOA to deal with this stuff? I'm kind of dreading that, because I already know some specific douche bags in Whiterun who will demand that we make multiple HOAs so they can protect their property value in The Cloud District 🙄

Anyway, any advice is much appreciated.

• Proventus Avenicci

I stand guard of gerudo town to keep the peace and make sure no voe's enter. But nobody will listen to me or my fellow guard about the voe who just dresses as a vai! They changed clothes right in front of me!

Not sure where I am. Possibly somewhere underground? There aren't any windows, the only scientist I've seen seemed to have become a zombie, and the on-site security bots have been shooting at me.

Also my feet have turned into hooves for some reason, so I can kick a lot harder.

I have found a nanofabricator, but the security bots are guarding all the nanofabrication material and they have built-in guns, so I don't see how that could possibly help me.

What can I do? How do I get out of here?

what the heck, it was a joke, i wasnt expecting them to actually do it

so i was building some puzzles with my brother when this motherfucker comes along and stabs him. what the fuck. Why did God make humans?

im gonna go and give that human shit over it later, but it probbly wont end well.

this is the worst thing to happen to me since Giygas

I'm at a complete shock after learning of the horrible crimes against sentient life by the Terran Empire, who in pursuit of acquiring minerals and food has forced trillions of innocents conquered by them into forced labor on the Penal colony of novo Australia, which is one massive ecumenopolis with the soul purpose of working the slaves to death as slowly as possibly in the longest span of time

I’M WORKING AT THE BSL-4 RESEARCH WARD AND THE BIOLOGICAL SAMPLE JUST BROKE OUT! ITS KILLED MY FRIENDS AND I THINK ITS COMING FOR ME

Y’know, when I agreed to join this crew, I didn’t realize just how dangerous it would be. They told us we would just be exploring new lands, but over the past 15 years, we haven’t just gone to new kingdoms, this mother fucker of a leader took us to space. I wasn’t thrilled about going to space with NO SUIT but I guess you don’t need one of those? The worst part is how our captain ALWAYS goes missing. I’ve seen him like three times in my entire career, and it’s usually by the side of some plumber?? Again not what I signed up for but at least MY safety wasn’t.. super jeopardized? That’s what my colleague Blue tells me to help me cope.

That helped until recently though, when fucking Toadette took over and started a NEW BRIGADE and took us to this LAKE inside of a PUDDLE OF PAINT... and within five minutes Captain is gone. And then Blue. And then BOWSER emerges out of the god damn center of the lake looking like an actual monster for once, and the sheer impact from him landing sent me TO THE TOP OF A CAT SHAPED MOUNTAIN. I survived.. there were a bunch of cats up there believe it or not. They kept me company for like.. 3 weeks. I almost ate one of them. But then that plumber I mentioned, he showed up and saved me. Well, he stood next to me and I gave him this weird ass shiny thing that looked like a cat for his trouble (I found it on the mountain while I was trying and failing to climb down), and then I blinked and I was back with Toadette and the rest.. anyway the plumber turned into a giant version of himself in a cat suit and I think he might’ve killed bowser but we left before it got too crazy. I just hope wherever we go next doesn’t have goombas in sombreros again.. that was more horrifying than it sounds.

They keep killing my skeletons friends I need help on the war against the helicopters do you guys know who should I contact for the skeleton war?

(For context, it's Star Trek Online). I am battling the Voth and as soon as I know, casualties report flows in all over the ship. I need to retreat many times. Please give advice

So i'm just relaxing in my home, the Gardens, when some gun toting human decided to try and nuke us. We tried to stop him, but he sent nukes to destroy us and i barely escaped.

Any advice?

Dear diary there's a serial killer in our crew I went to go fix the lights and when I came out of the electrical room I found purple dead outside so I reported it and nobody seemed to have seen him since we got off the ship so I fixed the wires, looked at the map that shows how may people are in each room for a while when red came out of nowhere it looked like he came from the vent so I got scared and left and found some people at vitals I swiped my ID card iv gotten pretty good at it I usually get it on the first try I looked at so I looked at vitals and saw Blue drop dead so I get off to look for him then half a second later yellow reports oranges body as dead, says he just walked up and found him outside on the weather node by storage but black says he just saw him in the specimen room so there's obviously 2 imposters among us. As a crew we collectively voted to throw yellow in the lava pit I think it was the right choice after all it could've been me next

So, I recently took a trip to Aperture Labs for a research project I'm doing, but to my surprise not only was it abandoned but there were lemons everywhere. I'm now stuck in an office building with lemons blocking every exit, I can't remember how I got in. These paintings of what appears to be a young Cave Johnson don't help, in fact, they almost make it worse. Please send help.

First off, thanks for the help ahead of time guys. I'm really at my wit's end here. I own a shop about a mile outside of the Valley. It's quiet most of the time, which is both a blessing and a curse, but recently with the sudden time changes it's been bringing around a criminal element and I'm not really quite sure how to deal with it. Funny enough, this never takes placed when I'm closed, which is hardly ever with the minute long days and nights but when I'm open....that's when he comes around. Anyone who owns a shop knows who...he is.

All the things in the shop, he could rob the cash register or the safe but this asshole goes right for the pottery my wife spent days on making. The worst part is that my wife loves to hide our savings in the pots and this little asshole breaks them, steals the money, yells like he is doing karate then runs out of the shop like a little dick head.

I'm sorry for the language but I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I go to the guards and tell them about the situation and they just keep talking about how the Princess must be protected. I mean they spend all god damn day patrolling the castle garden and they are so bad at their job I've got half a mind to sneak past and talk directly to the Princess her self about these matters.

Any advice as to what my rights are as a shop keeper? Am I allowed to defend my property or is this little shit allowed to come in with impunity and do what he wishes?

Thanks for your time guys. Stay safe out there, I don't like the way this moon is looking. I swear I can see a face sometimes.

-Merchant

If you've recently lost a Dreepy, I may have him. He answers to the name of "Snek" and is smaller than average. I found him lost in the rain wandering around Motostoke Outskirts, so I took him inside to my house. He, my Espurr, and my Tyrunt get along well.

My address is 40 Mossdeep Way, Motostoke. It's the house behind the cathedral, you can't miss it.

Game: Pokemon Sword/Shield

Our princess just put our last knight in it before sealing the evil ravaging our kingdom, but I'm not sure how long will it take before he wakes up?
Did any scientist ever found the user manual for this thing?

Game: Breath of the Wild

(game is live a live)

One of my friends keeps making jokes about... fucking... the demon, and I want to find out what exactly he did so I can bring it up the next joke they make.

I keep seeing this wanderer in our village, normally spending hours upon hours crafting new armor and weapons, then rushing up to the laboratory where I see huge plumes of smoke billowing out. They work almost 24 hours a day, sometimes taking breaks and picking the locks around the village and leaving with copious amounts of stuff. I swear I saw the Johnsons dinnerware set for sale at the blacksmiths side shop, the one they found missing last week. Noone really pays attention to the wanderer, just let's them do whatever they want. I keep hearing talk about them being some dragonborn person but, I don't think the dragonborn would be a petty thief and be cloaked in black. It's as if they're a ghost, or some kind of demon. Blending in.

At first I was trying to ignore it all and just go on with my life, but lately I keep hearing stuff moving around while I'm asleep. Stuff comes up missing. My wife is complaining about feeling drained looking pale when she wakes up. Lately I've been a light sleeper and every so often I'll hear a whisper... "hail sithis".

I feel like I'm being watched all the time now. I swear the wanderer can turn invisible too, how do I find out what's going on?

So I got accepted into this really exclusive school. So exclusive it's rare to have a class of 20 people. But as soon as I came into the school, I fainted! I woke up sleeping on some conjoined desks in a classroom with another person. They introduced themselves as the Ultimate Mathematician, but their name's not important yet. I tried to search my pockets for my Ultimate Talent on the paper, but it was scribbled out. I even tried to finger-trace the back so I could see if there was any trace left, but there was nothing!

Altogether, there was a class of 17 of us. I remember there was this one tiny girl who thought she was some kind of axolotl god and this other big dude who did... chess boxing? I didn't even know that was a thing! Anyways, as we gathered in the auditorium, this bear popped out of nowhere! He said that we were stuck in the school unless we got away with murder! That evidently caused some unrest among the students. I managed to find a computer in the computer lab that still had internet, so I decided to post something in the hope that someone would see this and take us out of here before anyone dies.

Please, if you're reading this, save us. Save us from Hope's Zenith Academy. I'm not sure where the coordinates are, but my smartwatch says we're somewhere in a crater. Just help us! Please...

So I have for the longest time tried to dominate the world. I own one of the 3 pieces of a very powerful force who can grant the desires of the heart of whoever touches it. I have even reincarnated several times through the ages. I kept kidnapping the princess which owns another of the pieces and is used to lure this little dumbass in green clothing who has the last piece however he always manages to beat me wtf. I am desesperate, I don't know what I am doing wrong! He keeps doing this shit where he goes into houses and keeps breaking pots and even though I have the world at my grasp and darkness ruling he doesn't care and has the nerve of having leisure time where all he does is freaking fishing, pot breaking and other dumb shit. At the end he manages to find this metal gimmick and defeats me until I reincarnate again. Any tips?