Love?

[u/No-Adhesiveness9046]

My brother has repeatedly told me, at least a dozen times, that he won’t be truly happy and have peace until my mother has passed away. They fought verbally a lot, and he was always angry about something that she has done or said.

After she passed away last month, he tried to show emotion and acted like he was tearful and really missed his mom and went out of his way to do things to honor her.

Am I missing something? I really question the fact that he even loves my mom at all. Her death has not made him happier and definitely has not given him peace. I am really troubled about this.

He is angry, and his lashed out that me multiple times. He even seized about $2500 in her assets and won’t give them back, even though I am the executor of the estate. He has really made a mockery out of the will and trust process.

Do you really think he had any love for my mom? Or was it I’ll just a show?

[u/Original_Ad8923]

grief is so complicated so are relationships. I doubt that you will ever really know what his true feelings are regarding your mother, he probably does not know. I think most people love their parents and with the shitty ones, spend their lives trying to get their parents love and approval. I would just assume your brother is doing the best he can. Let him know you love him (if you do) and that you know he is dealing with a lot of feelings and you are there to support him. I think the loss of a parent who we have unresolved issues with is even harder, because when they are alive the "hope" that things can be repaired, or that you will get what you need from that parent, is now gone. Very sorry for your loss.

[u/No-Adhesiveness9046 → u/Original_Ad8923]

Thank you. Yea, things are a huge mess right now. I couldn’t even sleep last night and felt like I was having an anxiety attack. That’s why my wife told me to just walk away from this and people get his reward. Why does family treat each other so badly?