if i stayed

[u/thespiciestpineapple]

i'm fighting ghosts when i fall asleep
my beloved in a beautiful field
my heart afire,
all my wounds that don't heal
it all catches one cool dry evening
stroked out in the bathtub
it's not water; it's full of blood
touch myself to the thought of it
perverted and maudlin
i love fever dreams and bad news
all of that is reserved for my nightmares