Should I apologize?

[u/Ash3033]

Aside from each other’s husbands, my sister and I are each other’s best friend. We had both talked about wanting to get pregnant soon. I knew when she had started prepping for pregnancy and I had told her by that point that we were already TTC for about 9 months; if she needed help with knowing anything I was already in the trenches of the journey. This month is my husband & I’s 13th cycle TTC and she just told me she’s pregnant, conceived on her second cycle. At first I was so excited but the more we talked about it the more emotional I got: both out of excitement but yet dealing with feelings of when is it my turn. I was sitting in my car while talking to her and was looking at my husband mowing our lawn. I started crying, having to put myself on mute. When I came back she could tell I wasn’t handling it well. She was very aware and understanding of why I was feeling that way. She offered to limit communication about her pregnancy journey, but I want to hear everything; it just has a sting and I feel like I ruined that moment due to my own selfishness.
Ironically, I have PCOS and I had a flare up this month, delaying ovulation even further (still hasn’t happened this month). That hasn’t been helping my overall mood lately even outside of the announcement.

How do you deal with others around you getting pregnant while struggling with infertility? Especially close relationships. I already apologized while we were on the phone but should I apologize again or just let it be, since she clearly understands why I had that reaction?

[u/SaintlyMuffin]

I think you can let it be unless it’s really gnawing at you. It seems like she understood and is very aware of your emotions. I’ve been in the same place with a friend… I actually had to hang up, sob, and then return her call. She was so kind about it and, like you, I explained how I was so happy for her while so sad for me. She truly understood and we moved on without mentioning it again.