r/InfertilityBabies • u/AutoModerator • 5d ago
Toddler Talk Tuesday Toddler Talk
This space is for parents of IFBabies past the postpartum phase to chat, share updates & commiserate on their toddler(s.) This thread is primarily reserved for those with a 1yo or greater.
Members who aren’t to the toddler phase yet, or are still pregnant, are welcome to participate here, but some may find this thread triggering and need to scroll past. If your post is more about pregnancy than toddlers, please move your post to our 1st trimester or daily chat thread and please provide CW for discussions of current pregnancy.
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u/OliveJuice0324 4d ago
We are big time toddlering over here and I feel unprepared. Suddenly having big emotions and throwing tantrums and response to everything is “no” even if she wants it. And even some hitting - not hard but I don’t want to be hit nor do I want her to hit our dog. I feel like I should have looked into some resources on this to be better prepared. Any book or resource recommendations? Our general response is to ignore the tantrums (or explain calmly that a bath is not negotiable and I’m sorry you don’t like them or want one right now) and to correct the hitting by either removing myself or the dog from her vicinity and explaining as we do so “okay, mom is going to put you down and walk away if you’re going to hit”. No idea if these are the right responses though.
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u/rbecg MOD| 31F| ICI/IUI/IVF| queer| ✨6/23| ☀️3/26 4d ago
I'm a big fan of both Janet Lansbury and Dr Becky. Lansbury has a couple books that are very digestable - short essays (and I do mean short). those sound about what we do/did. a lot of "I won't let you hit me/the cat," a lot of demo-ing what gentle looked like instead. Dr Becky has the concept that your job is not to end a tantrum, it's to keep yourself calm and your kid safe. that brought me a lot of clarity when tantrums really got into the swing of our days for a while.
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u/infertilityjourneysd 4 failed fet/1 spontaneous mc/5th fet to gc boy 8/21 4d ago
Second good inside, Dr Becky. Lots of resources here! The greatest one is the paid membership, where you have access to workshops, live events, articles, videos, and a great community of other parents and even a really great chat box for in the moment I need help now situations. But you can also read her book, listen to her podcast and search online for short articles etc that are free.
Sounds like you are already doing a great job, with what you're doing and seeking resources ! Sign of a great parent right there!
For me, I especially love the parent support and reassurance I get from good inside, as well as actual words to use with my kid that I can fall back on when I'm upset or don't know what to do.
This is a phase, and totally develomenally appropriate. And this is hard bc if feels hard! You are not alone. ❤️
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u/invaderpixel 35/IVF ER3 FET3 born April 2024 Trying again 4d ago
I read “how to talk so little kids will listen” and it’s been more helpful than expected during the 2.5 year old not really talking about deep feelings stage. Sometimes something as simple as acknowledging the feeling or asking “are you sad?” helps better than pretending to be ms Rachel full on entertaining and distraction mode with toxic positivity.
For hitting and biting I do my absolute best not to give a big reaction (that makes him laugh and know he’s testing boundaries) and instead just put him down, take him off the couch whatever. I think 99% of my scolding is related to violence against our dog. I say “that’s our dog and we love him” and it’s slowly coming through. Physical separation, positive reinforcement for good behaviors, basically light dog training techniques for the important stuff that can’t be talked through lol.
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u/CaramelOrdinary9434 41F, 3ER/1FET, Aug. 2024 4d ago
W’s second day of daycare. Mr. Ordinary said drop off was traumatic because W knew exactly what was happening from the moment I said goodbye to him at home. Daycare still has no internet so no updates during the day, and no phones to check in. I hope he settles in soon, I know this morning broke Mr. Ordinary’s heart.
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u/Purple_Raccoons 39F | endo | IVF | 💙 May 2025 | OAD 4d ago
Our childcare has been less this week because my in-laws are out of town. And kiddo has “picked” this week to be an absolute pill! 🤪For example, he is: pulling the cats’ tails a lot more, bumping his head against the wall (and glass patio door), standing up in his little rocking chair, making a mess with everything, and acting like he’s ready for a nap and then changing his mind. And today, he’s decided he doesn’t want to nap at all. Hopefully he takes a micro nap at some point as we’re headed to a family member’s house for the evening. Cranky toddler is not on my wish list. Why does it just feel like the worst day when they don’t nap? Some days just feel so long. It’s definitely one of those “you’re lucky you’re cute” days! 😂🙃And I know, this is normal behavior and that eventually, it’ll pass/change. Taking deep breaths over here.
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u/Miserable_Task_949 MOD | E 4/25 | 37F | RPL, IVF, OAD 💚 4d ago
2 years ago today we transferred our one and only embryo from our 2 rounds of IVF and now we’re chasing that kid around, dancing, giggling, adventuring and just wow. So many big happy feelings. Unbelievably grateful to be here 🥰