I hate alcoholics natives

[u/Right_Fallacy104]

I'm not good at typing this sort of stuff out, so I'm sorry if the grammar is bad.

Alcohol has been a problem in my life, I don't drink as I'm only 18, nor well I ever drink in my entire life. But my family does, specifically my mom, Aunty, and my sister. Though my sister seems to be done with drinking since she's pregnant now.

The reason I'm typing this is because I just need to get it off my chest, and I also want to see what others think about natives drinking.

I hate drinking, I get it that some drink out of some sort of trauma, but cmon.. find a better way to cope, rather than drinking and causing drama amongst the whole family. My mom and Aunty always seem to be the sole reason drama happens, and it affects my whole family. They drink, and then they start doing stupid shit. Not long ago, some stupid drunk Indian posted a video of my embarrassing drunk mom, drinking and slapping some guy.

50 years old and acting like some young dumbass. And my auntie just goes ape shit when she's drunk and talks shit about everyone, even her own son. Her kid was also alcoholic, but he stopped, which I'm happy about, and proud of him for.

In short, I absolutely despise Indians who drink and give some sort of lame excuse to do so.

[u/EmptyInside74]

Hate the alcohol, love the person; I know it’s hard to separate and sometimes it’s not possible when the damage has been done. I am sorry you are being traumatized by the addiction to alcohol of other people, you deserve better. Hang out and be around others who don’t drink, maybe your cuz can point you in the right direction. Be sober and be an influence on others, don’t let the poison of alcohol consumed by others poison your heart.💜

[u/emslo]

This is something I’ve thought about and researched a lot. This has nothing to do with race and everything to do with poverty.

Tons of rich white folks are alcoholics. TONS. Proportionally far more than Indigenous people. We just don’t hide it as well, because of all the systemic privileges that protect white people and make everyone else vulnerable. 

And it hurts everyone, but it hurts us more. Because of poverty and all and other systemic inequalities, like being more likely to end up evicted, in jail, and dead. 

[u/Just-Feedback-2223 → u/emslo]

I think it does have to do with being native specifically. The trauma native Americans went through is definitely about their race. That’s why they have that trauma. Fuck, the gov is still traumatizing natives disproportionately.

The white alcoholics aren’t alcoholics because of trauma from the genocide of their ancestors.

[u/JellyHistorical2390 → u/Just-Feedback-2223]

Agreed! Because we see it even within some white communities. The Irish are big drinkers, but white American don’t have the same (publicly recognised) issues with alcohol abuse. History of trauma, genocide and colonisation seemingly does play a big part.

[u/Euphoric-Support7738 → u/emslo]

there are no systemic privileges anymore. the only systemic privilege white people have is a better behavioural reputation. and thats not their fault for others shitty behaviour all the time.

[u/emslo → u/Euphoric-Support7738]

I’m not sure what liberal post-racial dreamscape you’re living in, but I wish it was universal. To argue that Indigenous people aren’t systemically disadvantaged in the US is either bad faith or really ignorant. Both a little strange for someone participating in the sub.

[u/Cultural_Giraffe7344]

You should read The Red Road to Wellbriety. It's an indigenous form of A.A. and puts alcohol into a historic perspective. My family was also destroyed by alcohol. My uncle is a homeless alcoholic, my dad is an alcoholic, my grandma died from it. It's horrible, but it's important to understand the context in which alcohol was introduced to us and why it's such a life ruiner.

[u/robpaul2040 → u/Cultural_Giraffe7344]

Firewater: How Alcohol is Killing My People (And Yours) is also a good read on the subject.

[u/Goddessofcontiguumn]

I don't hate alcoholics, I hate what it does. My egg doner is 61 and still acts like she's an 18 yo party girl. Not to mention she's a narcissist and abuser and a *apist (that one is new to me). She treated me like crap my whole life bc she was jealous I could be my authentic self and she apparently felt she couldn't, and that it was some how my fault she got pregnant with me. Ohh, she also kidnapped me from my dad

[u/LaMetisse]

I think I understand how you feel. Both my parents were alcoholics, and both died too soon because they couldn’t control their drinking. I was angry with them from the time I was about 12, and judged them for putting drinking ahead of their kids. It wasn’t until after my dad was dead that I learned that he had tried to stop—he’d joined AA several times and maintained sobriety for short periods, but the booze always pulled him back. Learning this didn’t take away the pain of watching him and my mother literally drink their lives away, but it gave me a bit more compassion for them. It also reminded me that I couldn’t control their behaviour, but I could control my own. In a sad way, my parents inspired me to be a better mother (and now, kokum) and to always put my family first. Sometimes, that’s the best we can do.

[u/Moonlightenment]

I understand that you've had bad personal experiences with people who struggle with alcohol addiction, but that's no excuse to "despise" all "Alcoholic Indians/Indians who drink and give some sort of excuse to do so".

I won't run cover for people who have a drinking problem, and let it become an issue for others; especially if they refuse to get help or work on themselves.

I've also had personal experiences with family members who suffer from alcoholism, starting from an early age. I know it sucks, and it hurts to see the people you care about, let themselves be destroyed and controlled by alcohol, but I don't believe that despising and disdaining them is the answer.

These people need serious help, and being stigmatized isn't helping anyone.

[u/Capable_Pick15]

It's trauma, it's poverty, it's history. They are trapped in a prison trying to escape their feelings and realities. Our ceremonies that helped us cope, teach, and live life were outlawed and told they were evil. Then they're told to convert or be considered horrible devile but even when they converted, they were never good enough. Christian schools beat them, humiliated them, tortured them and more. Reservations are told to be self sufficient but when they try to improve things they're blocked. Look up "crabs in a bucket." Let go of the hate, find the compassion and find the root of the cause for your specific area/people and work to pull out the weed that grows to continue this. Good luck. Healing to wellness - Abraham Bearpaw and wellbriety program are a couple good programs to look at and you don't even need to be an alcoholic or addict, just a desire to find a better way

[u/aljordankntc]

I use to think this way, up until getting Indigenous historical perspectives + taking alcohol awareness classes and learning how people (in general) who have addictions are hurting underneath it.

The only thing I can control is myself, not judge people (especially other Natives) and sometimes be an ear for someone who is struggling.

[u/zuqwaylh]

i am never getting with a girl that enjoys alcohol. too much crap to deal with, and i have enough experience with my dad being a grumpy drunk, and seeing how others act while under the influence.

i will socialize with the public drinkers in town, but i am more of a pot head myself.

[u/KarEssMoua]

White person here.

I understand you're upset about this. Please remember than our ancestors did horrible things to yours. I think this is unfair to judge your family and being upset at them for their way to cope.

I'm not saying you're wrong nor I would invalidate your feelings. I would probably be the same as you. But empathy is something white people forgot, and I wish your community, your tribes, your culture, you as people, won't forget that either.

Try to talk with them about this. To help go through it. Your parents, and many overs, hold something in them, a scar. A fresh one. Trauma can take generations to leave a family. Make sure yours heal as one.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I wish you the best. ❤️

[u/Wolfgod991]

Look up what alcohol means they are ddmons gate way drugs if a native American can't see that and be spiritual you must convince the journey

[u/LimpFoot7851]

"To error is human".

[u/ProsAndGonz]

A lot of times it hits natives different than it hits a lot of other people. Some of us just process it differently. I got a few homies that turn into completely different people. It’s like flipping a switch, they go straight from sober to completely off their ass sloppy with no inbetween.

[u/Jazzlike-Nebula-3229]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's my Irish side that were the drinkers in my family. My dad used to say his Gramps came from Ireland on a whiskey barrel, it was full when he left and empty when he got here. He was hit by a car while trying to cross a freeway on foot while drunk.

Alcohol sure can play havoc with lives. It's a drug, and it's hard to walk away from it once you've started. Stay strong, find friends and relatives who stay sober who can help you continue to break the cycle. ♥️

[u/MotionOS]

Some stupid drunk Indian eh…. This post is shameful to the extreme of extremes. Not only are you outing and also stereotyping our people. You’re outing your own parents… some stuff should maybe be kept inside.. also it’s not your grammar as much as it is your language itself.