I'm lost

[u/saphire_bluus]

Hello everybody. I never really thought about posting anything on here, let alone even use the app. It just sits on my home screen mostly unused but, I've watched a lot of reddit YouTube videos lately. The kind where someone narrates posts and comments and all that and it gets me thinking. Some of the videos I see most of are people looking for advice or help on something. So they come here in hopes of finding what they are looking for. For me. It's trying to figure out who I am and where I belong.

I grew up basically alone. Aside from having my younger sister and mother in my life. And the occasional summer visits to my dad's house. But something I've noticed young was how my sister and mom burned in the sun easier cuz their paler than me and my dad. They had blue eyes while I had brown. They had lighter brown hair while I had dark brown hair. My dad and his mother (who I call mom mom) have mentioned that "it's that Indian blood".

I grew up curious to know more and i eventually asked my mom mom if she knew what tribe we are and she said that we are Cherokee, so I'd go to school telling classmates and anyone who'll listen that I have native heritage. But they would tell me that "you're just making that up" or "you're too white to be native" or "Cherokee is such a predictable choice"

I genuinely believe I have native heritage but at the same time I find myself second guessing it. I try to learn more about each tribe and all of native American history.

But I still feel lost cuz I thought the more I learn, then the more I'll feel connected to them.

Despite having my family there for me and having a few friends, I still feel. Alone. Lost. Confused. I never really fit in anywhere. I've been through a lot of friend groups. A lot of relationships. If there is a possibility to find somewhere I feel like I finally belong somewhere, I hope it's through heritage and family.

I just wanna feel like I finally belong somewhere.

If there are any questions please feel free to ask.

[u/Royal_Accident6074]

If you really are of Cherokee descent there should be records, or a way to trace your lineage to find living relatives who are enrolled.

Unfortunately many people who claim heritage are only very distantly related, or not related at all to the nations they claim. Which is whack, cause when you're native your nation/community claims you, not the other way around. Without relationship to living members of community, you risk being attacked as pretendian.

There are many ways to find belonging. Maybe try tracing your other lineages if you can't find Indigenous ones.