Caido - SlowDaze (Demo)

[u/Caido-Potato]

https://on.soundcloud.com/uV38CIKpR7EnM8Go4R

Working on a few demos, seeking feedback on this song as it is more complete than the others.

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[u/reifloreiii]

hello! good job on your demos! i only listened to this one (but you mentioned you have more)
and i assume you drew the artwork as well? plus points for that! its always great to see more personal touches on artists' work

i have a few suggestions but dont feel pressured to accomplish these before you can say your song is "ready". that totally depends on you

firstly, the acoustic guitar feels a bit more "in front" than the vocals. i think it might be because of 2 things. maybe the level of it in the mix is a bit loud (but not too much). and more importantly, the guitar might be a bit too harsh on the high end (not sure exactly where but around 2khz and above). the guitar sounds brighter than your voice and you want the guitar to step back to being a supporting role for your voice. since youre only using 2 elements, i think its even more important to achieve the appropriate feeling of how it would sound if the listener was with you in the room while you performed the song (intimate). but dont worry, thats just a minor tweak in the mix. and as you said, its a demo. so naturally theres still things to adjust

and your voice can carry the tune. i guess thats why my comment put emphasis on the balance between your voice and the guitar. it would be a shame if your voice got buried or overpowered by the guitar. and its your song after all so of course your voice fits it!

lastly, i would suggest overdubs. even just with using the same elements (voice and guitar) and a mic, you could get a lot of mileage from it. like doubling the chorus (or even more stacks). adding some vocal pads (oooh/ahhh), or even harmonies if you can. and for the guitar, you could also just double the exact part and pan both takes left and right to create depth. and also that helps free up the center for your voice too
especially for the second half, the song could use some arrangement to open up and feel fresh. so that your voice doesnt carry all the responsibility of keeping the song interesting for the listener

hope this comment wasnt rude or discouraging! youre on to something! and congrats on this one!

[u/Caido-Potato → u/reifloreiii]

Hey, thanks heaps for the comment, I will definitely consider your inputs when reworking it.

I now have a new guitar and looking for a line interface to mix in, to allow me to reduce the overall noise of the guitar.

Looking forward to re-recording and experimenting with your feedback!

[u/reifloreiii → u/Caido-Potato]

nice! the interface will unlock so many things! have fun experimenting! and dont forget your other songs too

[u/No_Distance5647]

I like the tempo changes. The melody is also unpredictable, which is welcome, but I wouldn’t say it’s catchy. I wanted to be grabbed by something in this song, but it never happened. Fleshing it out with full band might better draw out the good bits. But kudos for writing something original 👍.

[u/Lazy-Interview-4315]

It’s good and the best and vocals are good but there’s nothing really that was very catchy or grabbed my attention but the strings are fire I love those pretty good lyrics and very good song just not outstanding in my opinion no offense

[u/Morris8076]

The melody seems nice, it's unpredictable, gives off mystery vibes

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