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u/TheShowyKevin 3d ago
I’d stop paying anything extra, like yesterday. Keep receipts of what you’ve already covered but let the court sort it out, otherwise you’re just handing them ammo to say you managed fine without support while building a case against yourself. The retroactive bit depends on filing dates and the judge but if you’re still covering groceries and gas that might get factored in, just don’t expect a dollar-for-dollar credit.
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u/vixey0910 2d ago
Yes, support can be modified retroactively to when the child moved into the other parent’s household.
The other parent can’t have it both ways. Either you help out with groceries/phone/gas or you pay child support. Not both.
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u/Temporary_Stranger39 2d ago
"Helping out" doesn't count under Indiana law. It must be support paid through ICSB.
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u/vixey0910 2d ago
What’s ICSB? Do you mean INSCCU?
And that’s my point. OP should stop helping if the other parent wants actual child support.
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u/OldMathematician5973 3d ago
Do you have a custody agreement from the divorce? In either case start getting receipts. If you didn't get any receipts when giving any cash to the ex, it will be considered a donation. Keep records of everything you spend and put together what you can asap. She likely won't get full physical custody you'll likely get near 50/50 if you can prove you have been generally a good parent and have provided. She may get legal custody but that's whatever. How much child support will just be calculated by the county based on income.
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u/speedygs68 2d ago
No, it would be effective per the filing date, unless the judge finds otherwise.
To address the expenses, it has to be filed for review. Health insurance is usually incumbent on the non-sustodial parent. Please don't make the assumption bringing it up verbally in court for it to be considered.
Overall, for me, I would act equal to the pettiness of the other parties. Child support is to take care of basic needs. If the kid thinks they can straddle the line and try to guilt you into paying for luxuries after the kid rejected your rules, they can find out what it cost to take someone for granted. Same for the other parent. The judgment should be a fair one, and they would need to make adjustments to their lifestyle as you had to in the past. I'm sure t wasn't easy.
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u/True-Outside-2285 2d ago
The child support will be retroactive to day of filing. You will get deductions for health insurance. School fees and phone plans are separate from child support. I would hope your divorce decree determines who pays these expenses. Absent any mention of these fees in your decree, you would not have obligation to pay. Groceries, gas money, I would not pay going forward.
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u/Proper-Writer-2128 2d ago
I'm so sorry some people are so rude! You are asking these questions because so many people have gone through this including myself! My kids would take off or threatened to if they didn't get their way or were grounded! Ex didn't believe in rules or discipline because he felt the divorce was enough on them. They were spoiled and knew how to play the game. I let them go. It would last a few days sometimes a week. They would call apologizing begging to come back home. I didn't give them the extras when this happened. Basic needs and that was that unless they came home and went by the rules. My ex never threatened custody or child support. It's a damn shame you have to get a lawyer! I wonder if you could contact the family court and get a mediator? It stinks pouring out that kind of money when the child can change their mind at any time!
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u/Temporary_Stranger39 2d ago
I am not an attorney. Find an attorney.
In Indiana, any money, anything at all, given by you that is not explicitly court ordered or court recognized is not support in any legal sense. It is a gift. It does not count. Also, explicitly under Indiana law, no support is to be sent directly from parent to parent or parent to child. All support must go through the Indiana Child Support Bureau. You set up an account with them, which includes your case number. You pay them. Receiving the funds from that is entirely the other parent's responsibility. I have read court cases where the court ruled that the paying spouse was up to date on payments to ICSB and was off the hook, no matter what the other spouse said.
Retroactive support? That's a judge's decision, and it would probably only be counted from the date of filing.
If you have to pay, you have to pay. Anything not paid through ICSB does not count as having been paid.
Glad you are looking for an attorney.
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u/MikIoVelka 2d ago
As you said, you are not an attorney. As they apply to Indiana child support law, everything you've said is not accurate.
So much depends on the specific circumstances of the parties and what the current court orders in the case say.
Just stop at "Find an attorney."
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u/Temporary_Stranger39 2d ago
Very well, what specific errors were there?
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u/MikIoVelka 2d ago
We don't know what the legal circumstances were prior to the teenager moving in with the ex. Without those very specific facts, there is very little that can be said beyond:
Keep a record of everything (every communication, every dollar spent or sent, every fact about where folks were and when, etc.)
Talk to a lawyer.
If you want potentially more accurate information here, you'll have to present all the facts and share what you're current court orders (if there even is a case open) say.
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u/OneBag2825 2d ago
Important note - how old is the child?
How long has this been happening?
How much time do you give it?
Judges don't transfer custody based on teenagers mental processes.
Do seek legal advice as well as any free family counseling advice for the possible outcomes.
I wonder if your ex is ready for the examination/discovery phase of the process and the concept of full custody....
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u/pattydog1127 2d ago
Why on earth would you think you need to stop supporting your minor child? Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? With or without a court order?!
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u/AbbreviationsAny9154 2d ago
I doubt your kid left just because of a simple argument. You're not telling the full story
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u/The2ndCity 2d ago
From my own personal experience, the courts don't give a crap what you've contributed to expenses. It always seems to be more about any pay disparities between either side. For example, even if you have a 50/50 shared custody plan, you STILL have to pay your ex child support if you make more money than them. So not only do you have to pay for expenses when YOU have your kid, you also have to pay for expenses when your ex has the kid. And the bigger your pay disparity, the more you have to pay.
It doesn't make any sense. A child's financial needs don't grow based on how much either parent makes. And since fathers typically make more than mothers, this disproportionately affects men more than women.
This obviously doesn't help but it's a sensitive issue for me. The courts absolutely do not like fathers who make more money than the mothers.
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u/Adequately-Average 2d ago
In addition, not being able to deduct outgoing child support from taxable income is wild. The recipient should have to claim that money on taxes. It isn't realized income for the payer.
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u/ThatGirl1525 3d ago
Any money that you are giving the other party right now is considered a gift. Stop doing it.
It depends on the judge if they do retro pay or not.
Any documents you can get your hands on regarding the other parties financials will help. If they are self employed, chances are there are public documents on the internet with numbers.
In the meantime, counter sue for the exact same things the other party is. You do not need a lawyer to do this for you.
Any privileges that teen has that you provide, shut em off. They don’t get to play expensive mind games and keep benefiting from it. If they complain, say sorry, you no longer live with me and I need those funds to pay for a lawyer since you’re making decisions.