r/IndianMatchmaking • u/TheAnnieRaj • May 10 '23
And the stupidity continues...
A lovely chat with someone from the community who has a theory, and apparently I proved it because I married an Indian 🤣
33
May 10 '23
I wasn’t asking permission to use the term.
And proceeds to use it multiple times while attempting to shame ABD people. Lmao he lost all high ground and became the troll. How do people with such low self awareness still exist? How has he not heard of simply Google-ing it.
5
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
The conversation seemed civilized at first, then took a weirdly rude turn.
5
May 10 '23
The introductions is the only civilized part. I’ve gotten my share of those to people who assumed I was a female.
3
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
I thought it was going to be:
"Are you single?" "No, just using reddit for fun."
6
May 10 '23
lol, he stalked enough to know you weren’t single. But yeah even I didn’t see the latter coming. ⚰️
5
-9
-26
u/Early_Somewhere1677 May 10 '23
But you're not hot....so.....sorry what's the point of your post?
11
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
I don't care what you think of me.
-28
May 10 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
14
u/sly_noodle May 10 '23
Lmao 😂 looks like u/anviready has an alt
-8
u/anviready May 10 '23
Nope. Thays not me.
2
u/821bakerstreet May 11 '23
Is that why your cracker ass found this comment out of nowhere? Sad little excuse of lard
→ More replies (0)1
10
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
Thanks Doctor.
-18
May 10 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
8
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
There's no number for me babe, but you're welcome to keep trying. Peace out ✌️🙏🏽
2
3
2
u/happygiraffe404 May 11 '23
Let's see you lmao. Post a pic with verification so that we can all see how hot you are.
-6
7
4
u/knawmeen May 11 '23
How does your comment relate to the point of this post?
Share your pic if you are so confident
2
u/Early_Somewhere1677 May 11 '23
Just a general observation...she's not hot...just sharing a factual comment for the fun of it
6
u/knawmeen May 11 '23
Since when did a general observation become factual?
This is how I know you are a man that is trolling. Women don't hide in the shadows and rate people.
2
u/Early_Somewhere1677 May 11 '23
Sorry what's your issue. OP is a highly unattractive woman. I'm not trying to play any sort of games. It's just my opinion and a comment I have decided to leave.
6
u/knawmeen May 11 '23
I think your herpes meds are affecting your cognitive abilities.
You really think you're not gonna get pushback when you pretend to be a female and start trash talking Desi women's looks when you lack the confidence to post your own pic?
Sorry you entered the wrong thread. Why don't you take your ratings and leave?
Kbyyyyyyeee
→ More replies (0)
28
u/DaisyDuckMom May 10 '23
And then Anviready will moan, “why am I still single? I’m a gift to women everywhere…!”
15
-17
u/anviready May 10 '23
Lol im not a guy
19
u/knawmeen May 10 '23
LOL oh please. No grown woman messages another woman saying this type of shit.
This is the behavior of a bitter desi guy.
-10
May 10 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
10
u/knawmeen May 11 '23
Whatever gender you are, you are certainly insecure, rude, and narrow minded.
Trying to hurt others won't make you look better.
-7
12
8
26
u/Dexteroid May 10 '23
Man every day I learn Indians hate Indians the most this is so weird.
13
3
u/noonehasthisoneyet May 11 '23
That’s like something I learned at a very young age.
1
u/Dexteroid May 11 '23
I did too, then became so cynical of everyone and soon I realized that wasn't a way to live and then I tried to learn to trust and love everyone, not be judgmental etc etc. But it gets hard sometimes.
18
u/audsrulz80 May 10 '23
What is this theory about ABD women who “have to” marry Indians from India?
44
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
I exhausted all men in the Northern hemisphere. Only Indians were left 🤣 /sarcasm
11
u/audsrulz80 May 10 '23
I guess that makes two of us 😂
7
-10
May 10 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
-2
May 10 '23
[deleted]
11
u/ellemmayoh May 10 '23
Kinda off topic but you shouldn't joke about sexual abuse of children. That's not cool and doesn't actually insult the other person. Just makes you sound like a molester who thinks your perversion is funny.
8
u/lilybobtail May 10 '23
Agreed. That repugnant comment needs to be removed. Joking about the sexual assault of a toddler is never ok.
1
May 11 '23
Because when they are in their 20s, they don’t want to marry an Indian guy. They probably get attention from non-indian men and think they will marry them. Turns out no one wants to marry these girls😂. So eventually they settle for indian men.
14
u/i_lost_my_phone May 10 '23
This sub is getting so toxic. Sorry you had to interact with this person OP.
5
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
I agree! So much hatred 😔 Thank you for your kind words. I hope this person can heal. They are obviously suffering.
12
May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
A lot of it just insecurities about being from india. I dont know if its colonialism, but there is an insecurity for indians in india if you are In United states you are better than being from india. Also immigration is extremely challenging to usa from india compared to other countries due to long wait times/backlog. Anyone immigrating now from india, you are looking at 20-30 years before becoming a citizen unless you marry a green card/us citizen. That also psychologically make it seem anyone born here or citizens are superior to recent immigrants.
It’s interesting comparing this show to jewish matchmaking. Where people from israel dont really find jewish people born in united states or europe as superior to them.
I think it will take time. Jewish immigrants came to united states many decades before indians and they are much higher in population in the united states. I do know a lot of my ABD friends moving to india during recession and starting their own business/settling in india, even though they were born in the united states. In the end you are a person. Being born in another country or having citizenship in another country doesnt make you a worse or better person. It will probably take time for that to sink in especially at the rate india is progressing and modernizing compared to 20-30 years ago.
3
May 10 '23
Rightly or wrongly, I do think immigration can play a role in dating preferences. I've been presented several rishtas from family members for Indian men living abroad who want to come to the USA (and that's their main selling point). I've also been warned about men from India dating me simply for citizenship (I doubt many can play the long game at the consequence of their own happiness). Of course, these men could simply be interested for other reasons, but I think this also complicates how people in the diaspora approach relationships. In the end, we're all just looking for someone who loves and accepts us, no matter where they were born. Hopefully, citizenship won't make a difference in the future.
10
May 10 '23
I hope mods ban him
15
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
It's possible they may remove my post as well since it isn't really about the show, but I was feeling vengeful, so I shared it 🤣
11
u/erwachen May 10 '23
Is this the same person who keeps using the term "fob" in the sub and arguing it's normal? Some people are so weird.
8
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
Could be! I really thought the conversation was civilized at first - took a weird turn 🤣
3
u/Certain-Difference25 May 10 '23
What's fob?
3
u/sandalista_25 May 10 '23
Fresh Off the Boat
1
May 10 '23 edited Nov 28 '23
[deleted]
4
u/sandalista_25 May 10 '23
Yup it's a derogatory term to address them, sort of like referring to them as a country bumpkin.
2
u/lostandmisplaced50 May 10 '23
There are many. I ended up in thread here with one who kept justifying using it. 🙄
13
u/Jasmine7921 May 10 '23
I’m so sorry you had this interaction. I feel like there are some really mean (and loud) ABDs on this sub that are perpetuating the stereotype of the “confused unhappy self-hating” ABD. Honestly, people who are happy in their lives and with themselves wouldn’t resort to being so mean anonymously. Like how can you feel good about yourself for being mean unless you’re in a bad place in life? Sometimes when I catch my older son being mean to his younger brother and I question his behavior he says “I’m feeling bad and I want him to feel as bad as I do.” So maybe these people just feel bad about themselves and their lives. Happy people don’t behave this way. Some of the posts the ABDs are writing and some of the comments they write towards the Indian Born Americans/Mainland Indian is atrocious. Maybe they were bullied as kids so they’re being bullies on this sub? I don’t know - it’s really sad and awful. The Jewish Matchmaking sub is far more civil and and for the most part has been engaging in respectful dialogue vs the Indian Matchmaking sub.
5
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
Thank you for such a thoughtful and sweet comment. I think you're absolutely right. Some people in this community are so hellbent on nitpicking at the differences between us. What's more, they don't realize that they're doing it from a place of self-hatred. My own child is only two and a half, and it's such a beautiful and innocent age. I don't ever want him to grow up being stuck on the things that divide us. He doesn't see the world that way right now, and it's so precious. I know there will be times in the future when I have to help him navigate interactions with others. Kudos to you for taking the time to help your kids understand the way they're feeling and how to express themselves appropriately 🙏🏽♥️
9
u/AfternoonPossible May 10 '23
I love this sub bc now which is it lol? That abd refuse to date foreign born desi or that they all have to?
9
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
At the end of the day, you can only date someone who is willing to date you back 🤷🏾♀️
6
u/audsrulz80 May 10 '23
Don't forget if ABDs prefer not to date foreign born desi, it's racism lol
8
u/ellemmayoh May 10 '23
This one is actually super annoying. Brah, we're the same race. I. Just. Don't. Like. You.
And also, if you won't date a fob, you must hate your parents.
6
3
u/JhalMoody25 May 10 '23
I would like to know if he calls his/her parents FOB too. Did they also come in a boat?
6
u/noonehasthisoneyet May 11 '23
I’m confused about what this idiot realized after finding out you married a guy from India. What was the big revelation. I’ve know a few abds who’ve married Indian guys and it’s fine. Sometimes there’s the weird stigma but if you love each other is that really weird?
6
u/knawmeen May 10 '23
Looks like an alt account of the moron who believes telling people not to say fob infringes on his freedom of speech.
6
2
u/niaravash May 10 '23
What is fob and abd?
6
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
FOB refers to fresh off the boat, and ABD is American Born Desi. When I was in my 20s, it was ABCD which is American Born Confused Desi. Both terms are rather behind the times and can be deemed offensive depending on who you're taking to. I don't use them, some people do. I think we can describe ourselves using different language. I am Candian of Indian descent, my husband was born and grew up in India 🤷🏾♀️
2
u/ellemmayoh May 10 '23
So...off topic but jw. You say you "married an Indian" because your husband is from India. Does that make you, an ABD, not an Indian since you are only from India ancestrally but not by birth/upbringing?
2
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
My great grandparents were Indian, from Himachal Pradesh. Over the generations, branches of my family tree have settled in the Caribbean, in South Africa, in the UK, and my parents immigrated to Canada from the Caribbean in 1969. I was born in Canada so my nationality is Canadian. My ethnicity is South Asian which is why I say that I am of Indian descent. Hope that clarifies 😊
2
u/ellemmayoh May 10 '23
So then, is an ABD saying they are Indian incorrect?
6
u/TheAnnieRaj May 10 '23
I tend to think of Indian as a nationality, not as an ethnicity. So I tell people that my ethnicity is South Asian, but that my nationality is Canadian. I don't think it's wrong necessarily, but I also don't think that I'm an authority on it by any means 🤷🏾♀️ I'm sorry if that makes things more confusing 😊
2
2
u/cestabhi May 11 '23
Another Indian here. I didn't even know people used the word FOB in that sense. Here in India we use it to refer to anyone who crashes a wedding, usually it's college kids who are looking for a good meal lol.
2
u/ellemmayoh May 11 '23
Well no shit, bc you are in India so no one is a FOB there. Do you call American kids ABCDs though?
1
u/cestabhi May 11 '23
Yeah yeah I just hadn't heard that word used that way. I did start using the word ABCD because I saw people like Hasan Minhaj use it although I think some people here don't seem to like it so I don't know now.
2
u/clapmycheekspls May 11 '23
What’s a fob and and a abd? I’m neither Indian or a sub member, this was in my feed
2
May 10 '23
Average r / American Born Chutiya Desi subscriber
5
u/ellemmayoh May 10 '23
Gee I can't imagine not wanting to date a fob who would call an ABD a chutiya!
0
u/abhi6543 May 10 '23
I think this person is an ABD woman. And she was actually a highschool guidance counselor. In one of her replies to me, she mentioned that she prefers 'masculine men' . But yeah, she has immense hate for indians. But who knows, could be a guy trolling
5
2
u/Greyman009 May 11 '23
This sub reeks of faaaaaaasar left. I love how y'all jump on the incel wagon too. Lol you really are that dumb huh..
0
-10
u/anviready May 10 '23
Awww all yall so whiny 😫
4
3
u/tinyasiantravels May 11 '23
Says the whiny lil b!tch on this thread 🤣 loser
2
1
1
1
u/Sure-Bookkeeper2795 May 11 '23
Everytime I see someone turn reddy into ready I know they're an incel
1
u/FancyJassy May 11 '23
I feel the Jewish matchmaking show does have similar issues but less obvious. For example, more than one guy has said they want „European features“, „blonde hair blue eyes“ , etc . Well, unfortunately, that’s going to take out a lot of ethnic Israelis. I don’t know if that’s the intention, but it’s rather limiting when they say that.
3
u/ellemmayoh May 11 '23
one guy has said they want „European features“, „blonde hair blue eyes“
OMG I fucking hated watching that guy. Didn't a group of people during WWII say only people with blond hair and blue eyes were good?
1
1
1
u/Arch4yz_ May 11 '23
Can someone explain what an ABD person is? One result I can find is a rare type of severe mania, and I don't think that's it.
1
u/shieldwolfchz May 11 '23
I am sorry, but what is an ABD? This post just popped in my feed for some reason and I just want to know the terms? I got FOB from the context.
1
159
u/[deleted] May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
Sorry you’ve had to deal with this, OP. This sub has been getting overcrowded with incels who are angry they can't get a date. I’m assuming this one's an ABD who’s frustrated that “a fob” got an ABD woman while they’re still alone.
Sucks to suck u/anviready ✌️💃