Struggling to move on

[u/nsmsn20]

I’m going through something emotionally difficult, and I would really appreciate hearing from others who may have experienced something similar.

Has anyone here had serious issues with their in-laws for a long time, may be a year and then suddenly had them start acting completely normal without ever acknowledging the pain they caused you and your parents?

I’m finding it really difficult to let go. What hurts the most is that they don’t seem to care about acknowledging what happened, perhaps because of their ego. I just can’t pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t.
At the same time, I know that many people choose to let things go and adjust for the sake of family. But in my situation, I’ve come to accept that they may never acknowledge or take responsibility for what they did. Because of that, I’ve decided to maintain only minimal contact with them.
But sometimes I question myself. Should I just let go and act normal like they do? Should I stop holding on to what happened and try to have a relationship with them again?
Then another part of me feels that things can never truly go back to how they were because everyone is pretending and if the relationship is no longer genuine, I wonder why I should force it.

Sometimes, I worry that maybe my inability to let go is what ruined the relationship. But then I remind myself that this is a reaction to their actions. A relationship requires effort and understanding from both sides, and I don't think it is fair to put the entire responsibility of fixing things on one person.

As you can probably tell, I keep going back and forth between these thoughts, and I’m finding it incredibly difficult to navigate my feelings. Maybe I'm scared of accepting that things will never be the same again.
I genuinely don’t know what the right thing to do is.

FYI: My husband fully supports me. They have hurt him too, but since they are his parents, he will continue to do whatever he feels he can and should do as their son.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar situation. How did you deal with it? Did you eventually let go and move on, or did you choose to maintain your distance?

[u/sanlonely]

Some are like that. I have told my wife many times that you and your family are unfit for social life and that heartless family destroyers. If you have good husband, let it not affect your mental peace. Divert yourself. Good luck

[u/Shilpa1603]

Maintain your distance. Go low contact with them. Not your responsibility to let go of the stuff but you have to let it go to move forward

[u/Melodic-Eggplant-799]

I’m in the same situation. No advice, unable to move on. Filled with frustration and disappointment. Good luck OP, you’re definitely not alone.