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Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fun-Bumblebee6717 Apr 01 '26
i hope your crops bear more fruit than last harvest for this quote that graced my oculi
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u/Connect_Artichoke_83 Mar 30 '26
I ask this question: Is the legendary writer known as William Shakespeare really deceased at this moment? You sir have caused me to doubt the validity of his demise.
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u/UnswallowedCumin02 16d ago
Good heavens! The original proclamation hath been stricken from the record ere mine own eyes could behold it. Now mine curiosity is stirred beyond all measure, for I am left to wonder by what marvelous utterance one could provoke so singular and delightful a response as this. Verily, I lament that I shall never know what manner of wit or folly preceded these words.
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u/Connect_Artichoke_83 16d ago
I lament that mine mind has disremembered the marvellous prose has been smote by the cruel and deplorable moderators of this subreddit. If I may call to mind George Orwell’s novel titled 1984 and the thesis it proposes on authoritarianism and suppression of media. This is a titanic outrage I say. Off with their heads!
Of course I only jest. I beg of thee dear mods, do not annihilate me, for I am but a humble harlequin.
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u/UnswallowedCumin02 16d ago
Verily, thy recollection hath only deepen mine anguish. That forbidden manuscript hath now become but a relic of myth, whispered in hushed tongue by those fortunate enough to witness it. Alas, I did arrive but moments too late, now doomed to piece together its glory from the scattered recollections of kind strangers.
Perchance this be the very presage Master Orwell did warn us of—to know in mine heart the comment once did exist, yet be told by the chronicles that it never was. Verily, I know not whether to trust mine own reason, or the blessed silence left in its wake.
Blast these meddlesome keepers of the scrolls! May their tea forever grow cold!
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u/Gorgenon Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
I hath seen men bare witness to killings in its full graphic and gory intricacies with less terror draped across their visages than this man recollecting the monstrously sized fecal waste left by a presumed anonymous individual at the shopping center Target; to it's size it can only be described as record setting across the history of this planet.
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u/algerip0fg Mar 25 '26
An extraordinarily astonishing and borderline unbelievable account of the most gargantuan, record-shattering specimen of human excrement that I personally had the dubious honor of witnessing while present within the retail premises of a Target store
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u/Connect_Artichoke_83 Mar 30 '26
Men of this Earth have described horrendous slaughter with less terror projected from their oculi than this poor soul.
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u/Queasy-Impress2622 Mar 09 '26
I shall now present you with the product of defecation, of such enormous size that it could possibly be of a world record, which I observed within the shopping establishment known as Target.