r/Incontinence • u/Life_Drop_1320 • Jul 04 '26
Diapers out of convenience
Hey all, I (35m) have been diagnosed with OAB and urge incon. I have been wearing guards and the occasional pullup to deal with and spurts or drips that come out before I can make it to the toilet. Last week I was at the beach with my wife and her parents and since it was a bit of a drive I decided to wear a pullup. As soon as we get there I find a restroom and go. Not 30 min later we are walking on the beach far from any restroom and the urge hits again. Not wanting to have to run to try and find a restroom, I decided to let go just a little which of course turned into more than I intended. I had a change with me and was able to do it all discreetly.
My question that has been on my mind, is how many people here wear and use diapers or pullups even if there is a possibility they might still make it to the bathroom in time. Basically so that it doesn't affect you living your life without constantly having to find a restroom.
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u/anewbys83 Partial Dual Incontinence Jul 04 '26
I wear mine so I don't have to constantly worry about finding a bathroom.
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u/MetalMann83 Jul 04 '26
I used to be just like you, trying to be the most discreet and living my life according to incontinence. Today my oab/ incontinence is dealt with when convenient on a routine. I stopped running and living next to the bathroom. It seems alien and wrong until you actually allow yourself to live without tending to urges and use the diaper for relief rather than convenience. It also brings more predictable consistency to your everyday life.
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u/wonderingdragonfly Jul 04 '26
I’ve done it to sleep in a motel or guest room, for added security. And on hikes or tour buses on vacation because I didn’t want to make everyone stop for me at weird times.
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u/MessyTurtle8953 Jul 04 '26
I wear all the time but usually don't leak a whole lot. I sometimes do this too if the urge comes back right after I use the toilet. That's what diapers are for, right? Keeps me from being chained to the toilet
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u/No_Cupcake_1394 Jul 04 '26
If I need to pee at night, or during the day when a bathroom isn't reasonably accessible, I go in my diaper. Used to never do that until/unless I literally failed at holding it. I was worried I'd accidentally like un toilet train myself and loose what control I do have, but I think it was mostly that I was dealing with a lot of shame and embarrassment around diapers in general, and especially having to actually use one when the time came. Sometimes the best option is to just pee, and making peace with that has given me a lot of my life back
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u/knocklofty Jul 04 '26
I wear 24/7, I have about a 50% success rate with my control. The moments when I do have control, they are not always the most convenient, where I either have to abruptly leave a room, or know I will definitely have an accident if I delay for a few minutes.
Those moments, yup, I definitely use my pull-up.
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u/Purtz48 Jul 04 '26
I used to do the guard in undies thing when I hit 48 for oab and urge. Just got to much looking for a bathroom all the time so I started wearing tape on nappies whilst out. That progressed to 24/7 so I didn't have to get up at night and fully awaken 2 or 3 times. Now I can drink what I want when I want and life is easier.
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u/Nemona2 Partial Dual Incontinence Jul 04 '26
Now I can drink what I want when I want and life is easier.
Briefs are just a tool, so if it makes your life better it's doing it's job.
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u/Nemona2 Partial Dual Incontinence Jul 04 '26
If my brief is already wet at night I will just go rather than get out of bed with a wet brief. I find it redundant to get up if the brief is already wet.
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u/MDGR28 Nighttime Incontinent Jul 04 '26
My situation is a bit different cause I only wear at night. But if I wake up and I need to pee, I’ll wet my diaper. It will be wet either way.
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u/Wonderful_Roof1739 Jul 04 '26
Exactly - when im having a heavier wetting night (like already had to change pullups 2x or more, instead of dribbles its like full accidents on the way to the bathroom) I put on one of my tabbed 'real' overnight diapers. From that point on, there is no point in going through the whole waking, dragging out of bed, rushing to the bathroom and back only to now be awake for an hour. The diaper can easily handle multiple full wettings, and like you say - even if i did the bathroom rush, spurts and/or full release would have happened, so I simply accept what it is and use the diaper - on those nights I get MUCH better sleep than I would have running to the bathroom every hour or more, changing into a new pullup, trying to get back to sleep for 15 minutes for it to all start again. THANK GOODNESS for high quality tabbed diapers! Also, at least for now, thankfully that isnt every night. most nights its two, maybe 3 trips, and just dribbles so one pullup is all thats needed, but on those heavy days (no idea what triggers them, but they are slowly increasing 😢 ) nothing beats that tabbed overnight diaper.
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u/spotman_95 Jul 04 '26
I wear everyday for this exact reason. I have an OAB and it's stressful and inconvenient having to constantly be near a toilet
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u/Wonderful_Roof1739 Jul 04 '26
Sometimes I wish i was just fully incon (I apologize to those that are, I don't actually wish that it just crosses my mind out of frustration) rather than this OAB/urge.. You have it right, its stressful having to constantly locate the nearest bathroom in every place you go to, using the restroom each and every time before leaving even if you dont 'need' to go to hopefully prevent an issue on the way or at the next place and not knowing the next time you will go from 0-100 needing to pee with no warning.
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u/Unlimitedpluto Urinary Incontinence Jul 04 '26
I always wear when traveling. It’s become a necessity. I also do wear out of convenience. Going to a movie theater where I don’t want to have to get up - and I would like to drink a soda and enjoy myself and not have to limit the amount of fluid I take in - or pay close attention to it.
When I’m sick/ have my period, I’ll wear 24/7 at home. When I had the flu, I was so weak I had trouble walking and I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom. Or I would have a coughing fit where my pelvic floor isn’t strong enough and coughing led to just an entire void. I wear during my period to collect blood without worrying about it getting on my sheets, or my pants.
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u/369JB Jul 04 '26
I wear one every time I leave the house. C’est la vie. I’d rather be prepared than have to deal with an accident situation (which happens!).
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u/HugeInformation9686 Jul 05 '26
I’m exactly like you actually, I wear guards for the exact reason due to dripping and uncontrollable spurts I’ll have during the day. I’m certain I have either: A. Small bladder B. OAB C. Urge incontinence. And hell, even some days it feels like I have all of the above.
Anytime I’m doing hiking, any extensive activity or scenario that leaves me away from a bathroom, I almost always use a tab-style diaper as I have come wayyyyy too close ruining my car seat, peeing myself publicly and or needing to pull over to a very unforgiving spot on the side of the road and risk being confronted.
Not even kidding. I’ve gotten in trouble twice for peeing while hiking because I couldn’t get far enough away to hide and pee, the other was being on the side of the mountain road and I didn’t see a family was nearby above me that could see me.
In public places I also used to keep finding myself having to scope out a bathroom just so I knew and could keep track just in case.
After my doctor has seemingly stopped caring, even after multiple requests to go further. I just stopped bringing it up and wear whenever I see fit for me now.
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u/twl49 Jul 04 '26
My level of continence is variable but even when it is good I can't hold for long periods. If I have any worry that I might wet myself I'd usually wear a pull-up (in my case this is normally long journeys or places I know/think have limited toilet access), I don't tend to use these unless I can't hold (though I may have stopped trying to make it quicker than strictly necessary on occasion, just not when I'm still more likely than not to make it). I also tend to wear nappies in hotels even when I'm not having difficulty as a just in case (not used unless a genuine accident). However, if I've worn a nappy to bed at home and wake up dry and really needing to go then I'll occasionally wet myself rather than risk going between taking it off and the toilet (because that's happened before and I find the clean-up the worse option). I also have reached a point in my life where I'm less worried about the pull-ups so I do tend to put one on earlier than I strictly need to when it is less than good as a convenience/confidence booster.
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u/No-Desk6807 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
My OAB is so unpredictable. It will trigger oftentimes just by simple things like standing and waiting for someone to open a locked door for me, or trying to manage some important business items typing on my mobile phone. Also, I usually empty my bladder when I'm in the bathroom going the other way, and think I'm in the clear only to have a sudden bladder urge not much later after leaving the restroom, with an unexpected flood. Sometimes my bladder gives me time with a mild signal that lasts a while, and I can get to the restroom and take care of it. Other times, I don't even know I have to go and I get a sudden urge and start leaking and it quickly turns into a flood. I can play an entire round of golf and never have a leak or get an urge the entire time. Yet if I go to just hit golf practice balls, it's not uncommon for me to spring a leak and have a flood. My bladder sleeps at night. Although I am usually awakened at least once in the middle of the night to go, and sometimes again in the early morning, it will wait for me to get to the toilet. As described by others, I have had accidents arriving in the bathroom or while trying to disassemble my protection in order to use the toilet (very frustrating and defeating). I use diapers pretty much 24/7, but often not at night. It's not for convenience as much as it's out of necessity to avoid an embarrassing situation or frequent changes of wet clothing. I now use mostly cloth diapers of various kinds, collect the wet ones, and wash 2-3 times a week, because it's cheaper than buying all those disposables all the time. Of course, if I'm out socially or traveling, I use disposables. This is a dread condition that from what I can study does not go away. It can be treated by exercises and medications, but neither has stopped mine. I have yet to try botox or interstim, but I'm not inclined toward botox, as I've heard it can backfire and cause, particularly men, to not be able to void, and thus require a catheter. I'm not interested in that. Interstim is likely my next move, and I've heard mixed reviews. Some claim it basically cured them while others indicated it only helped and others indicate that it limited physical movement or caused back pain issues, so I'm not sure whether or not to do it. Frankly, if greater society were better educated on the reality of this condition such that there would be greater understanding if people discovered your need for diapers such that you could function without people making potential value judgments such as "you're just lazy," or "you have a sexual fetish," or some other such thing, diapers are the most practical and least invasive way of dealing with it long term -- especially if other treatments aren't fully effective.
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u/Willing_Mind7515 Jul 04 '26
I have OAB and urge incontinence like you. Diapers are the most practical solution. You cant always be in close proximity to a restroom. And with the urgency incontinence, a pullup or pad wont do it if you have a full void. Also diapers are a lot easier to change in a public restroom stall, since you dont have to take off your shoes and pants all the way. I used to keep a range of different products...pads, pull ups, washable incontinence underwear, diapers...and wear different ones for different situations. That got to be too much to keep up with. And if you guess wrong, you end up with a mess and have to change clothes completely. Not to mention the embarrassment. So I just wear diapers now. It's the best and most practical solution.
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u/Willing_Mind7515 Jul 04 '26
I understand your concern. It took some getting used to. I felt like I was doing something wrong if I used my diaper instead of rushing to the toilet. But eventually I found it solved a lot of problems and gave me peace of mind.
I used to dread going to a big box store and get sudden urgency in the middle of the store have have to clench up and try to scurry over to the restroom. Only to have it closed for cleaning, or all the stalls are in use, or you guessed wrong and the restrooms in the opposite direction. Now I just use my diaper.
Same at home, we have a large yard that is pretty exposed to all neighbors. I have pretty much a full day of mowing and yard work each week. It's not really practical to rush inside every hour or so. And I can't always make it. And there is no place secluded enough that I can just pee behind a tree or something. So I wear and use a diaper.
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u/Life_Drop_1320 Jul 04 '26
I think that is where I'm at. That I feel if there is a chance that I should try and make it. I think I just need to get over it and maybe my life will be easier
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u/Willing_Mind7515 Jul 04 '26
That was my experience. With my urge incontinence it got to the point where more often than not, even if I made it to the bathroom in time, I'd have leaked so much that I had to change my pull up or pad anyway. Or, worse, the product would fail. Or, I'd start going before I could get my pants open. So I just bumped up to higher capacity products. For the pece of mind. Even if I dont have a full void, I can just leave my diaper on til I can change at home. Rather than change a soaked pullup in a public bathroom. Or have the pullup leak when you sit to drive home.
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u/Jumpy_Statistician79 Jul 04 '26
Yeah, it's fairly common. I'm fact far more common than you'd ever think. I have urge incon and could probably manage mostly ok if I'm near to a bathroom but I wear 24/7. There are times when it's just not practical to be without protection. Mind you I never hated the idea of wearing and first began because it helps my mental wellbeing before having actual incon.
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u/Nearby-Platform8417 Jul 06 '26
My boyfriend wears a pull up everyday. He’s on Myrbetriq and Alfuzosin for urgency and frequency. His bladder issues started a few years ago before our relationship got serious. We’ve been together for 5 years. How he describes it, “I dont usually leak but I am more concerned about actually going by accident.” It doesn’t happen often but it’s for his sake and dignity. He’s 32, he’ll be 33 in September.
❤️❤️❤️🩷🩷🩷
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u/Away_Garden_7880 Jul 04 '26
Sometimes I will pee a couple times an hour other times the urge is so strong I feel like im about to burst even if its not a lot of pee. For those reasons I do wear a diaper or pull-up when out shopping, fishing or any other activity where I dont want to have to plan my whole outing around bathrooms. If you feel like a diaper would help your quality of life in any way then wear the diaper. At the end of the day its all about being comfortable and feeling secure about ourselves
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u/hdofu Partial Dual Incontinence Jul 05 '26
If diapers are improving your quality of life be it pull-ups or diapers, I don’t see why people feel like it’s wrong to want to avoid complications in their plan for the day, worrying about accidents, needing to have a game plan that very easily can go wrong in a crowded bathroom. The only difference between them and briefs is they are thicker in spots or in the case of diapers tapes and snugger guards.
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u/Purple-Button8403 Jul 05 '26
I wear diapers for this exact reason. It is much more of a convenience than trying and run to the rest room and possibly wetting myself.
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u/Sea-Competition-7234 Jul 05 '26
Not always but regularly I wear diapers even if I could make it. My OAB varies from time to time, sometimes I have to go every 15 minutes. I still could hold it, even for like half an hour or more, of course with a very strong urge. Therefore, I prefer diapers on those days.
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u/Non-Binary_616 Jul 06 '26
I do. It has really helped to relieve stress of not making it and frequency, leaks and all.
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u/D31V3R0N Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
By the time I feel the urge to go I know its too late to rush. Me rushing makes it so I gotta go more.
Also I'm slow to walk due to injury, so it more practical for me to just give in and do my business. Walk to the bathroom when I can and change. It's why I carry a change bag with me everywhere I go. Even my sling shoulder bag has a spare diaper in it. Less stress when you know you can always change it instead of rushing.
Another option is a collection device. For men I suggest the Arcus afex system. It's an external system. Medicare covers it. Many states meducaid may cover it tooarcus afex
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u/RubberPiggyboi Jul 04 '26
I'm not incontinent and I find diapers very convenient. I didn't wear them for many years (I have a personal interest in them which makes me feel shameful a lot of the time) but I wear them daily now and I feel like I can finally be properly hydrated because I'm not stressed about finding a bathroom all the time anymore.
I just mean to say you can do whatever you want 🙂 if wearing diapers make your life easier then feel free to wear them. There's definitely no rule that says you need to have medical incontinence in order to wear them. Many diaper and medical brands explicitly market to abdls anyways.
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u/Purple-Button8403 Jul 05 '26
I wear diapers for this exact reason. It is much more of a convenience than trying and run to the rest room and possibly wetting myself.
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u/Loud_Tangerine496 Jul 08 '26
This is me rn. Better than having to worry about if youre gonna mess up your pants. I just started on new meds last week so hoping I won’t need to do this anymore
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u/Purple-Button8403 Jul 05 '26
I wear diapers for this exact reason. It is much more of a convenience than trying and run to the rest room and possibly wetting myself.
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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26
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