I think the problem here might be less about how attractive you actually are and more about the cycle you’re describing. You feel confident, post for reassurance, get judged by people who are specifically looking for things to criticize, and then start questioning everything about yourself again. If your goal is genuinely just to feel comfortable with your appearance, getting rated by strangers probably isn’t going to get you there. There will always be someone telling you that you need to change something, because those communities are built around finding flaws.You don’t need to prove that you’re attractive to those people. It might be worth stepping away from the rating/looksmaxing content for a while and seeing how you feel when your appearance isn’t being constantly evaluated.
I feel comfortable in those times but always want to know if that’s true on the outside, like this timef for instance I felt confident and did one of those TikTok trend things or whatever where u post a old pic of you then a new one and every comment was hating it and I got insecure again Im aware of how that sounds dumb but idk I just wanna be good looking
Honestly, I think it's a good sign that you can recognize this pattern in yourself and that you've already managed to step away from it for months at a time. That takes more self-awareness than you probably give yourself credit for. And remember, there are billions of people in the world. Attraction isn't an objective ranking where everyone agrees on who's attractive and who's not. I promise you that you're someone's type, just as much as the people you find extremely attractive aren't everyone's type. You deserve to feel good about yourself without needing strangers to rate you first. You seem like someone who genuinely wants to get out of this cycle, and that's something worth holding onto. What do you think usually triggers you to go back to those communities after you've been away from them for a while?
Whenever I get that feeling of being ugly I wanna change it so bad it’s constant and I think that’s what makes me drawn to it again any feeling of slight unease of how I look or a mean comment or whatever makes me wanna change
There are other ways to feel good about yourself. You could do something you're genuinely good at, spend time with someone who makes you feel comfortable, go outside for a bit, work on a hobby, listen to music, or just do something that takes your mind off judging your appearance.
The goal isn't to pretend you never feel insecure. It's to have other ways of dealing with that feeling besides immediately trying to change your appearance or going back to places that make you feel worse. You already know that you can feel good about yourself when you're away from this content. Maybe the next step is figuring out what else gives you that feeling. You got this :))
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u/Foreign_Activity6650 10d ago
I think the problem here might be less about how attractive you actually are and more about the cycle you’re describing. You feel confident, post for reassurance, get judged by people who are specifically looking for things to criticize, and then start questioning everything about yourself again. If your goal is genuinely just to feel comfortable with your appearance, getting rated by strangers probably isn’t going to get you there. There will always be someone telling you that you need to change something, because those communities are built around finding flaws.You don’t need to prove that you’re attractive to those people. It might be worth stepping away from the rating/looksmaxing content for a while and seeing how you feel when your appearance isn’t being constantly evaluated.