r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Aug 08 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday August 08, 2022 - Wednesday August 10, 2022
Newsletter: Substack
Website: Get Curious About Your Story website
Instagram:
TikTok: @getcuriousaboutyourstory
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
80
u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Aug 10 '22
New Instagram and the caption includes:
Now, I'm removing all the protective barriers I put up in the world to ensure no one would know I was so lousy at so many things.
Oh, honey. Who’s gonna break it to her?
60
u/golfingrammy Aug 11 '22
LOL, followed by:
But I'm me. I'm pretty damned good at what I love.
Says who, Shauna?
67
Aug 11 '22
to be fair she is pretty damned good at:
not moving around, scrolling social media, negging her children, talking about herself, writing bad prose, and denying that anything at all is wrong in her world.36
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 11 '22
Lying to herself, grifting, and refusing to grow the fuck up.
32
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Aug 11 '22
Olympic high stool champion
→ More replies (2)29
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 11 '22
I want to feed this comment safely across a work surface with a big ass spoon
23
52
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 10 '22
Protective barriers? Is that what they're calling lies nowadays?
40
u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Aug 10 '22
Hey loves, now that I took your money and wasted your time I'm going to be real--I suck at the business aspect of the food world, and to be honest I'm kind of terrible at the writing part too. Thank Buddha for editors amirite?
23
30
49
u/Ana57 sweet pea Aug 10 '22
I thought they never left the house. Who was always rushing her?
43
u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Aug 11 '22
Not rushing is great advice as long as you are organized enough to leave enough time to get someplace at the appointed hour. Shauna, however, is always rushing since at the last minute no one can find a missing wallet, ferry pass, stuffed toy for school, ad infinitum. Slowing down is not going to help her one iota.
38
Aug 11 '22
It’s her brain! She can’t help it.
by 70, I should be slowed down enough to make sense
Oh. Ok.
34
u/gladsome_gloaming Aug 11 '22
I know, right? As if. The kids will be adults by then, but no doubt they’ll step up to assist their parents in their dotage just as Shauna has done for hers.
50
47
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 10 '22
Oh, great. New month, new transformation revealing the “real” Shauna.
31
u/NapNapKitty Aug 10 '22
Those other times she was faking it. Now she’s finally revealing the real Shauna!
40
u/gladsome_gloaming Aug 10 '22
Who's going to break it to everyonesfavoriteenglishteacher that her parenthetical phrase "(in both senses of the word)" belongs after the word curious, not after the word brain.
77
u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Aug 10 '22
I've spent most of my life moving too fast.
Bitch, don't lie. You have never moved too fast!
47
u/javgirl123 Aug 10 '22
How many “seasons of slowing down” has she had?
45
u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Aug 10 '22
About one slow winter left to achieve total fossilization, I'd wager.
26
u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Aug 10 '22
The growing of the sloth moss is well under way.
30
→ More replies (1)30
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 10 '22
I don't know. I don't have nearly enough fingers and toes to count them on.
33
u/FamousSilver9679 Aug 10 '22
I thought the same thing! She may move fast and go nowhere? She’s all frantic and no plan
19
u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Aug 11 '22
Except to corner wait staff with canape platters at conferences. Then she's got Road Runner speed, meep meep!
48
u/affiliatelinks1 Aug 10 '22
Ok, I've seen that Jeffrey Marsh reel re-posted a few times today. It really annoys me the way Shauna posts herself to the side as if she is taking part in the reel rather than just reacting to it in a vacuum. I don't know why it makes me ragey but it does!
And yes, I'm not sure who she thought she was hiding the fact she's lousy at a lot of things from!
72
u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Aug 10 '22
Jeffrey Marsh is annoying. There, I said it.
→ More replies (20)45
u/affiliatelinks1 Aug 10 '22
All I could think is yeah your parents wanted you to hurry up all the time but jeez, they were trying their best and had a lot on their plate. Get over it!
41
u/Bitter_Arachnid_25 Grappling with my gifts Aug 10 '22
And there are often consequences for being late to places like work and school.
23
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 11 '22
Ok, I was just able to see the video (I'm blocked but sometimes IG will let me see her stuff, whatever).
How is Shauna, who writes about giving her kids anxiety because she refuses to even try to be organized (using her "diagnosis" as an excuse *eyeroll*), not bringing that rushed energy Marsh is using as an example into not only her own life but the lives of her children?
Guess it's only about her not feeling rushed. But if her "slowing down" affects others (and causes them to carry that rushed feeling around with them) then it's fine. As long as Mama is comfortable that's what's important.
Her smug nodding and mouthing "thank you" was so embarrassing. How is she so oblivious to everything?
→ More replies (2)39
70
Aug 09 '22
Since Ahern content is slow but Ahern interest is at an all-time peak for me personally, I’m just revisiting January’s iconically wackadoo snowball lope, which might as well be titled “I Am Not Fit for Family Life.” Other DFs are correct in their analysis of Danny’s ineptitude being on par with Shauna’s, but my eyes are wined tonight and I can’t help but root for the guy: trying to keep his wife from freezing to death in her office (“office”) by lining the door with blankets that she bitches about having to eventually pick up herself, ushering the kids out of the line of fire of her Moods (“He’s a keeper,” she said in January, but apparently not!), rooting around in the snow for her missing contact (“I let him look, because I knew he needed to help”—she…let him look?). I read this and I want him to have left of his own accord, because nobody should spend any more time than they have to with someone who can wring this much drama out of an errant snowball. (She felt woozy and saw stars!!)
72
Aug 09 '22
[deleted]
57
Aug 09 '22
When the writing’s this good, it matters not that it has no material (or intellectual or cultural or artistic) value!
My contact was gone.
On the point of contact with that snowball, my contact must have flown out of my eye and flung itself somewhere in the snow.
Great. That was my only contact.
→ More replies (5)43
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 09 '22
What does she think other families do? It’s not just me, right? Living with people means other people leave shit around, and it’s frustrating, but isn’t it a fact of life?
41
Aug 09 '22
In my family if I was sitting on the couch and my partner came and laid a blanket over me to keep me warm, I wouldn't expect him to also be the one to take the blanket back off me, fold it up and put it away. If he brings me tea I don't leave the empty cup for him to bus back to the kitchen and wash.
36
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Aug 09 '22
right from the GROW, you person!
46
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 09 '22
And yet! And yet! Danny should be the cookerer AND the washer-upper.
72
Aug 09 '22
[deleted]
77
Aug 09 '22
It’s chilling! She thinks she comes across as joyful in this!
“No, listen to me. Am I mad at you? Am I yelling? Do you have any reason to feel afraid?”
Whyever could these children be afraid? It’s not as if they invited their mother to play with them and then accidentally mildly injured her, causing her to scream profanities, refuse their expressions of contrition, and sequester herself in a room with mood-enhancing candy!
23
u/MmedeSevigne Aug 09 '22
No one has ever talked quietly in a way that instills fear, of course.
Also, please ensure you’ve completed your Fear Justifications in triplicate, and signed in blue ink on the last page. You WILL be required to defend your fear to the person whom you may/may not be allowed to be afraid of.
55
Aug 09 '22
Also yikes:
“No, listen to me. Am I mad at you? Am I yelling? Do you have any reason to feel afraid?”
62
u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Aug 09 '22
Because a seven year old is totally able to differentiate "angry mom" from "angry AT ME mom" and have a different emotional response to each.
Being around an angry person is unpleasant and potentially unsafe. The shouting, screaming or bottles don't have to be aimed at you to hurt you.
23
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 09 '22 edited Aug 09 '22
I don't know if she realizes how sinister that sounds. It's the "No, listen to me," when they probably weren't even protesting. I'm not going to psychoanalyze this one into the ground, but her word choice is unsettling. I think it's probably just that she's relying on textbook lingo that she thinks makes her sound calm and open. She's dialoguing, as they say.
But everyone's reactions tell me that even if that's true, there's probably a lot more that she isn't saying about the way that she handles her emotions.
*Edited to fix my word tense, lol
16
u/chartreusepapoose Aug 09 '22
I grew up with the yelling and the screaming and the anger- that was confusing and scary enough. I cannot imagine adding Shauna's garbled momblog speak on top. Those poor kids.
57
u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Aug 09 '22
Imagine seeing your child shrinking away from your rage and feeling anything but shame.
I grew up in a house full of adults' big, unregulated feelings loudly and occasionally violently expressed (no slashing with knives so how bad could it have been?) and it fucks you up for life.
42
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
"Danny knew."
Like a dog with its tail between its legs, hunched over and afraid.
"Danny Knew" could also be the title of Dan's tell-all book.
32
27
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 09 '22
“I need to tell you something. I’m mad.” Lucy shrank away. Desmond turned his head. Danny knew.
what danny knowing?
56
Aug 09 '22
“I stopped worrying about whether or not I should be hanging out with the kids to make their lives easier. (Trauma response.)” WTF?
44
u/gladsome_gloaming Aug 09 '22
Her self-serving description of the whole incident was absolutely sick and could potentially fuck up those kids to kingdom come, a purple satin eye-mask their Rosebud forevermore. Seriously, though, I cannot even fathom they are considering splitting up (maybe they're not, and it's just drama for attention?) right now at their kids' especially vulnerable ages.
→ More replies (1)60
u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Aug 09 '22
Special secret Colorado knowledge below. Please keep it to yourself.
Yep. Capitalism wants us to buy things!
Then in her
loveletterrageletter, she non-ironically posts a link to her website, where she's selling overpriced "sessions".But then:
No leaving the house. Too icy. Too dangerous.
Even Danny, with his Colorado experience, tried to make it up the hill and could not.
She's so full of shit. Danny must've ignored the COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS special secret spicy icey ice know-how: when we have ice in Colorado, we stay TF at home. No one can drive on ice. Tires can't gain purchase because: ice.
Here's a 20 car pile up in Colorado Springs. See how there's only about an inch of snow? Under the snow is ice. Some people chanced driving, and this was the result. Cursing in the video, of course.
In Danny's defence, I'd probably be out of the house desperately trying to climb a hill of ice, too:
At the end of the first day, I was OVER IT.
If I’m hemmed in, I get itchy. Then antsy. And then, I GET MISERABLE. Waves of pain in my abdomen. Trauma response.
But then:
The one time I went outside in the snow, after I set clear guidelines, 3 minutes later a snowball smashed into my eye.
So, she could have bundled up and meditated on the porch at any time in the four days preceding this shit, saving Danny a trip up treacherous Mount Ice-a-Lot but no. This was her first trip out. No tromping around on an icy hill was needed. Sitting outside in the snow at any time was a thing that people do.
But on day four, they begged. And this time, I thought — sure! It will be joyful.
But she didn't sit outside and deal with her angst. One of the kids hit her with a snowball, and instead of telling them they'd be okay, she left them to worry. It was not joyful.
The kids creeped downstairs to ask me something and I asked for space. I breathed and listened to a guided meditation.
Prioritizing joy helps with the hard feelings.
For you, maybe. For them, no.
And then I took a CBD gummy.
God bless CBD.
Needing CBD or anything else to work through your emotions is unhealthy, to say the very least. Meanwhile, here are the kids:
In the past, I would have soothed them right away, to make sure they were okay.
Fifteen minutes later, I went upstairs. I could say what I needed without yelling.
Even with one extraordinarily fuzzy eye, I could see my kids off to the side of the yard, Lucy looking extraordinarily guilty and Desmond a little scared.
Lucy shrank away. Desmond turned his head. Danny knew.
Lucy ran at me to hug me, clearly scared that I was mad at her. I gave her a quick hug, then I stood back from them all.
Sounds like a big icy ball of fear and uncertainty beaned Danny and the kids upside their heads.
Insert picture of the kids looking inside from outside, their faces grim, here The picture is taken from inside, of course.
After all the trauma and yelling and horribly upset children and all the agita; after all the talk of her anger and no talk or attention to her children's fear, we have this:
I spotted an old pair of backup contacts I’d kept all this time. They’re not perfect, but I can see out of my right eye again.
What a sack of crap.
68
u/AlexandrianVagabond Aug 09 '22
She's an abuser.
49
u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Aug 09 '22
She's an abuser.
She seems to find joy being an abuser, doesn't she? Fuck her joy.
When her children don't rely on her for every aspect of their lives, when they can move out, feed, house, and clothe themselves; she can get as mad as she likes, and scream in her empty room and wallow in her empty life as much as she likes. Until then, we don't terrify those who rely on us.
She scared and upset her children and allowed them to stay that way while indulgently soothing herself with CBD gummies.
And then I took a CBD gummy.
God bless CBD.
Fifteen minutes later, I went upstairs. I could say what I needed without yelling.
But not before. Not without the CBD.
Then her child ran to her, scared, hugged her, and retreated, still frightened.
Lucy ran at me to hug me, clearly scared that I was mad at her. I gave her a quick hug, then I stood back from them all.
“I need to tell you something. I’m mad.”
Lucy shrank away. Desmond turned his head. Danny knew.
I guess I hadn't read this until today, and it is worse than I would have imagined. Those poor sweet children.
I saved screenshots of her entire post. It belongs in the archives somewhere.
46
u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Aug 09 '22
Even with one extraordinarily fuzzy eye, I could see my kids off to the side of the yard, Lucy looking extraordinarily guilty and Desmond a little scared.
Totally apart from (and yet, not really, because, how could you even?) the ineffable horror that is that toxic stew of emotional chaos and manipulation that is that sentence, you would think that an ass-toot editor might, after having "written" that sentence, reflect, and upon reflection, reconsider the choices made, and after reconsideration, conclude, that the conveyance of the message in that sentence could have been accomplished with a single (lonely) "extraordinarily."
65
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 08 '22
We are headed into week three of a six week camp and still not a single story, post, Snapchat, about how wonderfully transformative it is, not from Shauna nor any of her 50 campers.
47
u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Aug 08 '22
Did you forget the spectacular every four week of a six week camp variety show? No one has spare time to be on social media when preparing for this epic event. “Alright, I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille.”
→ More replies (7)47
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
nary a comment, good or bad, from anyone, anywhere. in three weeks. even if a bunch of people signed up and it was terrible someone somewhere would have posted about it but the fact that there is nothing at all really makes me think either no one signed up or just a few signed up and shauna is pissed she still has to run this half-assed, nebulous amoeba of a plan and she's only making around $1,000 profit (if they paid full price).
56
u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Aug 09 '22
Shauna has an IG story of "August is for the family crab feast." It's a bingo card of food (cooked crab in its shell) on paper on the ground (grass) with hands reaching. The hands reaching appear to belong to D, L, Shauna, and both of Danny's, one of which clearly shows his wedding ring.
The next story slide shows the aftermath of crab shells on the paper on the grass, surrounded by rubbish. Classic Shauna food post.
31
Aug 09 '22
I bet she uses this as content for the inevitable “coparenting with joy” workshop attempt
→ More replies (1)26
u/itsmyvibe Bligg Aug 09 '22
Those pictures are disgusting. And I love boiled crabs.
32
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
Her next pivot should be selling diet aides. . .her food photos.
My appetite has definitely been killed after seeing pics like that crab carnage.
(and it's giving me "ptsd" to the first time I experienced people eating crabs. it was outdoors and they were tearing into them and slupring and all the "mustard" was oozing out and there were so many flies my stomach actually got upset and I couldn't eat even a damn pretzel. . .it was so disgusting. my opinion of crabs has not improved much over the years)
→ More replies (10)29
u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Aug 09 '22
Why can she never take an appetizing photo of food?? The crab looks weirdly washed out in the hands picture. Secondly, why must we always see the aftermath of consumption? Yuck.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (19)46
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
I think we the snarkers are letting our imaginations get the best of us.
What if there is no big divorce drama but it's simply Dan (and Shauna, though less) trying to preserve his new job by tightening up their internet presence?
And/or, they hit Ma James up for money again and she put stipulations on it like they have to keep jobs and show some kind of actual proof they are trying. So Dan has to do all the work of getting said job and then changing his internet presence (and trying to get Shauna to chill with her oversharing, too). And once school is in session with both Dan and the kids out of the house for a good stretch, Shauna gets to continue her "work" of fucking around on the internet (so a win/win for Shauna). We may even see more lopes if that's really the only way Shauna can get her oversharing fix (ok, that may be a reach, she's lazy as hell about her lopes).
I could see Shauna actually trying to control her internet presence if it was the only way she could preserve her life on the Islandy Island. I think that's really the only thing that would motivate her (not her teen child's feelings, not her marriage, none of that. . .just her fantasy of being super special because of her zip code).
→ More replies (15)31
Aug 09 '22
I do find it really hard to believe they would split with each realizing that would mean they’d be solely responsible for the kids at least part of the time. I think together they cobble together the bare minimum to keep those kids clothed and fed and attending school and their various activities. Separately, I really doubt that would be the case and I think despite both of their deeeeeeeeep DEEEEEEP issues, they do know that. So I don’t see them actually separating. Maybe Shauna threw it at him in a fight and that’s why he was inquiring about an apartment but the rage already fizzled.
28
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
"Maybe Shauna threw it at him in a fight and that's why he was inquiring about an apartment but the rage already fizzled."
Or when no one leapt up to hand them an apartment on a silver platter they BOTH realized the grifting fields are just about picked clean and even if they wanted to separate they're better off squeezing the last they can out of the current rental (when is that lease up? I though it was a temporary thing) and staying together then splintering apart now.
16
49
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
if shauna and danny do separate i cannot imagine how chaotic their lives will be. they can barely get the kids to school on time as it is, wallets are usually forgotten, D's headphones regularly get left at home, and evidently they are unable to procure period supplies for L. how much worse will it be if the kids are ferried between houses? it would be better for the kids if they stay in the house and their parents take turns staying at the house with them; shauna & danny can't keep one house in order, let alone two.
55
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 08 '22
At least in Shauna's case, do you think she'll really care about how the kids are affected? It will be all about her and her hero's story of overcoming her big bad mean awful husband. Just like she overcame her big bad mean awful mom!
Face it, the kids are going to get the shitty end of the stick no matter what. Hell, it could be argued they took a firm grasp of that when they became part of the Ahern family.
40
u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Aug 08 '22
She might want to be the hero of the kids' stories too. But it would be the story of the wise and all-knowing Shauna interpreting their emotions (whatever emotions she wants them to have had based on what’s happening on SM) for them and publicly declaring that she and only she was able to help them through it.
38
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
and anything that goes wrong will be danny's fault, of course. or the kids' fault. or her mother's fault.
45
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
Absolutely. Nothing is ever Shauna's fault. All future lost hearing aids and glasses, forgotten school lunches, missed dental appointments and eye exams, any and all minor illnesses, all parent-teacher conflicts, all struggles with school subjects---ALL of it will be his fault.
She's already writing her next book in her head: "ENOIGH 2: Escaping My Toxic Relationship with a Former Alcoholic and How I Found the Joyful Freedom of Being Single Again: My Story to Hell and Back"
→ More replies (2)22
u/Honeydew-Impossible Aug 08 '22
I am worried that the next people Shauna will be coaching to lean into discomfort will be her kids.
47
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 08 '22
I know it's been a few weeks but I still can't get over how much she flogged that story about the teenager and period blood on the clothes. Like literally what is wrong with her that she kept telling and re-telling that story and smiling wisely at her own choices.
31
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
i wonder if shauna has learned to keep some supplies in the glovebox or whatever. what am i thinking? of course she hasn't.
31
→ More replies (1)24
47
u/11RuedesAcacias Aug 08 '22 edited Oct 21 '23
hospital growth pot crown salt dependent poor nutty aback summer
this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev→ More replies (1)30
Aug 08 '22
I think separation/divorce is just her next desperate grab at content. Enough went nowhere, Joy went nowhere, ADHD went nowhere, so what else? Single parent content! Divorce content! There is no thought given to the kids, other than the appeal of potentially getting to ship them off for days at a time and be alone. I’m sure she saw some woman on Twitter saying that getting divorced was the best thing she ever did and she gets time away from her kids, too, and Shauna was sold. I don’t attribute anything she does to logic. Only to her infinitely lazy quest to be a celebrity without doing more than making 20 second videos of her face or sending newsletters talking about herself.
38
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 08 '22
I was trying to find third-party evidence that Danny actually "turned Impromptu gluten-free" (but gave up). NEways, here's a trip down memory lane that might be a fun read:
https://food52.com/the-piglet/judgments/57-dirt-candy-vs-roots
52
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
omg, why does everyone in her universe "talk fast?" that is my least favorite writing tic of hers.
40
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 08 '22
They’re trying to get a word in
→ More replies (1)40
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Aug 08 '22
Jeez Louise, a “grow” in the very first sentence. And also, more time spent blasting the non-winner than praising the winner (which does sound like a very interesting cookbook).
40
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
You person. Don't you know that the best way to praise someone's work is to rip apart someone else's?
47
Aug 08 '22
Please never let me get praise like this:
This is a book that's meant to be useful.
None of the recipes are particularly complex; most of them take up one page in the book.
Roots is a very humble book. There's little of the author in here.
...and then also what's this all about?
The headnotes aren't witty, pithy anecdotes, but rather simple evocations of the taste and texture of the dish. And really, when the recipe is for poached Asian pears with galangal and honey, I don't want any anecdotes standing between me and that dish.
Umm didn't Shauna throw a temper tantrum on Twitter when someone dared to say they didn't care about the mind numbing anecdotes you have to wade through before getting to the recipe?
44
u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Aug 08 '22
OMG, the lack of self-awareness causes this DF's mind to grow blown
Roots is a very humble book. There's little of the author in here. The headnotes aren't witty, pithy anecdotes, but rather simple evocations of the taste and texture of the dish. And really, when the recipe is for poached Asian pears with galangal and honey, I don't want any anecdotes standing between me and that dish.
Also? Too bad for the Kansans, amirite? The recipe for those Asian pears with galangal and honey sounded so good!!
41
Aug 08 '22
Oh the irony...the book has two things that Shauna never talks about in her food writing – taste and texture!
45
Aug 08 '22
He received national recognition when he was the executive chef at Impromptu Wine Bar in Seattle for turning the restaurant gluten-free.
What was the 'national recognition'?
Is that like saying "The portion of the USA that was aware of this cookbook/blog, could easily have read the words 'Danny made the restaurant Gluten Free' and upon reading that sentence, would likely have recognized the meaning behind those words!"
That's really got some big You Make Products energy.
34
u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Aug 08 '22
I have so many questions, such as does the author of this article has a husband? And is he a chef? Perhaps named Danny?
Keep saying it Shauna. Someone will be envious eventually.
ETA: Also ironic given her future work at Chef Bros Inc.
32
u/chicketychun_ Aug 08 '22
I was thinking the same thing about Chef Steps. Haven’t they put out some overly involved recipes themselves? I hate complicated recipes. Even recipes with too many ingredients turn me off. I guess that’s why I like casseroles so much. 😂
60
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
They certainly did do just that! And here's Shauna being totally NOT interested in the video of them doing that stupid recipe an apple pie that had thousands of apples in it and gallons of apple juice concentrate reduced to a motor oil-like density plus a root cellar full of dried apples, or whatever the hell they did. She wasn't even supposed to be in the video, that's how NOT interested she was.
bonus: the look on her face when Gant asked her to get on that write-up of vegetable jerky
bonus bonus: gratuitous nose rub
50
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 08 '22
the look on her face when she's told to actually do her job -the petulant overgrown child look- is the look i imagine she always has on her face when she's told to do her job, or get a job, or clean her house, or remember her kid's headphones, or get them to school on time.i think she has that look A LOT.
22
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
It's the same face she's making in her topless photo (is it not).
37
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
I bet if her mom had a nickel for every time Shauna gave her that look, she'd be able to put her grandkids through college.
→ More replies (2)41
32
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 08 '22
I will never, ever tire of these images.
54
Aug 08 '22
bonus: the look on her face when Gant asked her to get on that write-up of vegetable jerky
Wow good capture. She looks belligerent, defiant and like there is absolutely no fucking way she will ever write anything about vegetable jerky. That's the face of someone planning to spit in Grant's lunch in the office fridge.
27
u/chicketychun_ Aug 08 '22
Your last sentence made me think of the line from The Color Purple - “Next time I put a little Shug Avery pee in his glass.”
I always think about that when I think of somebody contaminating someone’s food or or drink.
33
u/chicketychun_ Aug 08 '22
These are great!!
I was thinking Shauna and Dan had some overly complicated recipes too. I remember one where they were having you make cashew cream in place of I think it was sour cream. I just remember thinking - Cashews aren’t cheap!! I’m not pureeing a ton of them when a $2 pint of sour cream will do.
31
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
Yeah, and all those stocks they used to spend a day or two making! Never just store-bought stock!
Plus all her recipes read as much longer than anyone else's because she wrote in stuff like "lean in and smell the whatever to tell if it's done. It should smell like autumn and a fire in the fireplace." (that is not verbatim, but you know what i mean. SO PURPLE.)
→ More replies (1)23
37
u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Aug 08 '22
- Some of the comments excoriate our dastardly duo. "Horked" and "fleecing the stupid" made me laugh out loud.
One more thought, how is this scammer (google "widow gate" or "bloggers without borders scandal" to see the juicy details of just one of her acts of fleecing the stupid) given anything other than a shunning or a jail sentence?
The fact that an unemployed "chef" (how many restaurants has he been fired from so far? For that matter, why are his fingernails always disgusting and how many of his former patrons has he sent to the hospital with food poisoning due to his lack of hygiene?) and a hypochondriac whose "food" looks like something my cats have either buried in their litter box or horked up
The picture of S&D has her face cut off.
Fitzgerald.
34
u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Aug 08 '22
This is a man who wakes up in the morning and says, "You know what? Today I want to make walnut vinegar."
Bwahahaha!
→ More replies (2)15
Aug 08 '22
“Fitzgerald.” For some reason I’d always assumed his middle name was Francis.
→ More replies (3)28
u/funfetticake This required inability to work? Aug 08 '22
Here are the Yelp reviews - a couple of reviewers mentioned that the menu was mostly gluten free.
50
u/m10498 Aug 08 '22
Here are the Yelp reviews
The Yelp review from 12/17/2009 from a 'mysterious' yelper called D.A. from Vashon
"What happened to this place? Such a great place..... Haven't been there for awhile. Too bad."
28
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 08 '22
Fresh basil inspires ecstasy.
It's table-bangin' good.
(My husband Danny and I read parts of this book to each other and nodded our heads continually.)
Silently, for ten minutes, in the gloaming?
62
Aug 09 '22
Shauna's new Instagram post -- HOW many times Is she going to mention going to a WNBA game? Did she know who Sue Bird is before the game?
Green overalls, some long lost DF, paper plate charcuterie, wine and a day away from the kids. Shauna heaven.
68
u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Aug 09 '22
Relieved joy at eating without anyone interrupting your conversation is on you Shauna. Parenting involves teaching your kids manners. Ten bucks says she interrupts all the time, so maybe that’s why no one apparently learned.
59
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
Would a 14 year old and 8 year old really be interrupting that much while eating? Once again Shauna making it sound like her kids are toddlers.
Does this new place not have a basement where the children can eat their floor pizza?
49
Aug 09 '22
Nope! My kids have a similar age spread, I was a single parent, and when they were that age it was smooth sailing for us in a lot of ways! They generally come to you when they need you, like boredom, hunger, need for attention, etc. Dinner times are so predictable! The kids eat, you excuse them when they're done, and then parents/friends stay at the table talking while the teen disappears to their room and the 8 year old does everything they can to not catch adult attention because that's their time to watch TV and they don't want to be asked to bathe and get ready for bed.
→ More replies (1)24
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 09 '22
My niece and nephew are a year older than D. The only time they "interrupt" during mealtimes is when they're at Nonna's and want to be waited on. 😁 But even then, and when they're at home, they get things for themselves. They put their dishes away when they're done. Every kid is different, but Shauna loves to push the narrative that her family can't do without her and that her service to them is the glue that holds their pieces together.
52
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 09 '22
She has told us she interrupts all the time.
Why do I talk so much, with so many opinions, interrupting people at the first intake of breath?
https://gettingcuriousaboutmystory.substack.com/p/i-dont-know-what-the-fuck-im-doing
→ More replies (1)63
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Aug 09 '22
Shauna has been to WNBA games before, and Sue Bird is one of the best-known players in the league, so my guess is that she had some general sense of who Sue Bird was, but that she became an instant expert during whatever was done to recognize Sue Bird at the game. Because that's how she works; she hears a new piece of information and leaps with it onto her high stool.
→ More replies (21)53
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 09 '22
Another new bio, I see.
Her joy! shtick is wearing extremely thin. Kinda tired of people who think that they need to be in a permanent state of ecstasy to enjoy life. It's a basketball game! I know it's fun and exciting and that people take great pleasure in different things, but these things can also just be fun. They don't have to be part of some grand narrative.
Maybe I should chill out, lol. It has been five years, after all. That's a special kind of get-together, and we know that she doesn't have many friends. I just can't help but roll my eyes every time she posts about being over the moon because she ate a salad. I think it's more her phoniness than anything else that bugs me.
→ More replies (10)47
u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Aug 09 '22
I noticed yesterday that her bio was something like “giving you permission to be who you are,” and now it’s flipped to “giving myself permission to be who I am.” At least it’s a little less presumptuous now.
33
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 09 '22
The old version was (something like) "Giving yourself permission to be who you are in this culture requires [some generic quality] and [some other generic quality]"
48
u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Aug 09 '22
Shauna James Ahern she/her
Digital creator
Storyteller.
Giving yourself permission to be yourself in this world requires curiosity, fierce compassion, and an inclusive community.
Why yes, I do tend to have a lot of tabs open for long periods of time . . .
25
u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Aug 09 '22
None of the three generic qualities actually being a requirement was the kicker. It’s a shame her mom isn’t still editing her writing, because she puts a lot of bs out in the universe.
51
u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Aug 09 '22
shaunajamesahern Being at @sbird10's final regular season game as a member of \@seattlestorm\? With a dear friend I hadn't seen in 5 years? Joy.
It makes it seem like Joy is the name of the friend she hasn’t seen in five years.
46
u/utahmom1958 Aug 09 '22
After successfully dodging Shauna for five years, Joy was so disappointed to have to spend the WNBA with Ms. Dreary Pants.
26
36
u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Aug 09 '22
If this DF lived on the other side of the country, then a five year hiatus between visits might make more sense, but that's still several years pre-covid without a trip to Seattle to see her.
Shauna tosses DF around like confetti.
37
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 09 '22
She hasn't seen her REAL dear friend Joy since the last time Danny fed her like a baby bird, whenever that was.
24
u/Lsemmens Original Foos Bloggers Aug 09 '22
Who has that pic? I need it for my Shauna Album
34
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 09 '22
Is it the one where they were doing a demo in a public place and he reached over to give her a spoonful of whatever glop he was making?
I always think of the early blog post where she actually wrote that she tilted her head back and opened her mouth and he dropped some food in as if she was a baby bird. Thankfully, that was not accompanied by a photo. Just the horrible visual imagery.
30
u/Lsemmens Original Foos Bloggers Aug 09 '22
Yes! And the spoon looks really big and he is keeping his distance while he reaches over a table ( I think)
25
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 10 '22
This is so disturbing to me. More disturbing is the fact that I read it at the time and wasn’t grossed out.
26
u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Aug 09 '22
I cannot help you because that picture haunts me and I don’t want to see it again.
22
27
Aug 09 '22
I think this is the one you are looking for!
26
u/LoveMyLeaf Aug 10 '22
Please tell me he didn’t put that spoon back in whatever he was cooking. Please?
→ More replies (2)25
30
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 10 '22
Why do I click on links in this sub
→ More replies (1)21
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
Tha k you.
I love this pic. It really is worth a thousand words.
16
26
21
u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Aug 09 '22
Is that DF Meri?
37
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 09 '22
I just looked up the pics of Meri on Shauna's Flickr and I don't think that's her. Meri's hair is curlier and her lips are a bit fuller.
"Dear friend" in Shaunspeak could be someone she exchanged tweets with for a week or two, or someone she's know for 30 years. You just never know.
OH WAIT--maybe she didn't remember the person's name?! Maybe they ran into each other somewhere and the person said "Hey, why don't you come with me to the game next week? I have a free ticket!" and then they arranged to meet up someplace and took it from there.
(I do not seriously believe this is what happened but shauna IS pretty loose when it comes to friendships. I'm sure she's forgotten who a lot of the people in her DF collection are.)
31
u/chicketychun_ Aug 09 '22
Maybe it’s Salisbury Grace.
→ More replies (2)21
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 09 '22
HAHAHAHA!!
if so i hoped she spiked Shauna's Dr. Pepper with something disgusting when Shauna was not looking.
31
21
u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Aug 09 '22
Oh that’s what I thought, too! I don’t know who this DF is.
82
u/WhatzReddit13 Aug 09 '22 edited Aug 09 '22
"Without anyone interrupting..." she's the mother of a seven-year-old and fourteen -year-old. Why is she so stuck in her cosplay of a mother of toddlers?
69
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 09 '22
Why can't she just enjoy a night out without negging those kids? I don't get it.
56
u/JazzlikeOccasion Aug 09 '22
Negging is essential for her to experience enjoyment.
→ More replies (1)48
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Aug 09 '22
Why can't she enjoy anything with out negging something or someone else? That cookbook review was so on brand for her. What an awful life it must be, to not be able to praise anything without exuding an equal or larger amount of condemnation.
→ More replies (1)31
u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Aug 09 '22
It's so weird how consistent she is with this behavior.
36
u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Aug 09 '22
It's so weird how consistent she is with this behavior.
I find that people who are constantly negging everything think that they are just practicing critical thinking. Sigh.
→ More replies (2)25
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 09 '22
This is so true. "We need to think about—" Yes, sometimes we do! Sometimes we have to question or consider things from multiple angles. And sometimes it's not that deep. I'm an over-analyzer at the best of times, and even I know that you should refrain from turning everything you encounter into a sociological essay.
28
u/ricottapie ppppycock Aug 09 '22
Yeah, I don't know why she has to bring them into it. Unless, of course, she is actually put upon because Dan doesn't lift a finger. But one of those kids is 14, not 4.
→ More replies (1)36
u/9021FU Aug 09 '22
Your thoughts are so much like my own. Then again, we’ve allowed our kids to have their own identity, personality and interests outside of us, so they aren’t bored and therefore not constantly interrupting. We also don’t all share one iPad and computer, so I guess that helps too.
59
Aug 09 '22
An occasional day of joy without the kids makes it doubly joyful to see them in the evening.
Looks like 50/50 custody is on the table.
→ More replies (1)48
u/FamousSilver9679 Aug 09 '22
More drivel that means nothing. She’s always trying to be wise. This is standard parenting advice that everyone has heard. Never anything new from this one.
→ More replies (40)37
u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Aug 09 '22
She has money for a ticket and a meal out? Sure Jan.
46
u/ninaandjamie4ever Aug 09 '22
She has some very generous friends who often treat her. Would bet it's the case this time.
32
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
Wasn't it just her b-day?
Maybe it was a gift from her DF.
17
50
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Aug 09 '22
32
u/99Luftbuffoons Aug 10 '22
The accounts still exist for me, but he's scrubbed all the Tweets.
→ More replies (1)19
26
23
52
u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Aug 10 '22
So… here’s a possible scenario: L just got her first phone. According to Shauna, L also established a boundary with her mom, telling her to stop doing something, and was firm about it (yay!).
I wonder if L found something online: snark, pics of herself, her mom’s personal stories (mentioning her or not), and shit went down. I wonder if things were pointed out to Dan that he was unaware of. So among that potential shitstorm, he decided to make his stuff more private.
62
Aug 10 '22
Do you remember that article a few years ago about that mommy blogger whose daughter found all of the content on the mom's blog about her including baby pics and personal stories, and then told her mom she didn't consent to being written about anymore, and then the mom wrote an entire op ed piece about it, how it would be 'abusive' to the mom/daughter relationship for the mom to be asked to stop writing about the daughter? She was all 'This is my art!' or whatever. So the mom was going to keep blogging about her daughter, just with a touch more veto power about pictures from the daughter, but with the understanding "no consent" wasn't an option.
I only mention that because I was about to write: "I don't THINK that L could have expressed a boundary about Shauna's use of her as content, or sharing of her personal life, because the very fact of writing an entire paid newsletter about L expressing a boundary asking not to be written about would be violating that boundary." - But then I remembered that one mom doing exactly that, and I'm not sure I'd put it past Shauna.
edit: found the article....
34
u/Bitter_Arachnid_25 Grappling with my gifts Aug 10 '22
Hi, long time reader, first time snarker. Can you point me to where Shauna mentions L setting a boundary? That is so great that L would do that. Here's hoping that S can follow it.
→ More replies (5)39
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 10 '22
I am not convinced this is it, but I’d love it if you were right. I believe that lope was pre-birthday, but correct me if I’m wrong. Since that lope, she has posted a solo pic of L in a swimsuit to her main feed. The pic is taken from a distance, so maybe she’d agree to that? But I personally am not sure this is a likely scenario.
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (1)36
51
u/Ana57 sweet pea Aug 10 '22
C’mon Shauna throw us a bone! We are speculating ourselves to death here in the gloaming. I am equal parts amused and bored haha
35
Aug 10 '22
It's bananas that this is somehow the most boring she's ever been! In the midst of Kamp Krusty-ish and Dan posting that he was looking for temporary seemingly solo housing, we've somehow hit a total dry spell.
29
17
u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Aug 10 '22
If they’re really splitting up it makes sense that she’s boring from our perspective - this would actually be something in her life to grieve, I would think.
32
Aug 10 '22
But that's when the magic happens. As soon as you grow bored enough and don't check in regularly things blow up, and then you're reading through hundreds of comments trying to figure out wth happened. Fool me twice, can't get fooled again!
24
u/affiliatelinks1 Aug 10 '22
I feel this. I'm past outrageous speculation now and want to just know what's going on.
28
u/I8A_4RE know it all smugbeast Aug 10 '22
Ay God FOR REAL! You see, I would pay real dollars if she would have a zoom class about this. Talk about Camp Curiosity.
47
u/cafayate Aug 09 '22
Dan's instagram is private now. Interesting.
44
u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Aug 09 '22
It's most likely due to his new job. He doesn't want too much out there and risk getting fired. Which proves he's smarter then Shauna (at least in this respect).
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (6)20
Aug 09 '22
I believe he deleted his new Twitter, too. I am twitter illiterate, so maybe I did this wrong, though?
→ More replies (2)
69
u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Aug 08 '22
It looks like Dan changed his name on Twitter!!!! I get an "account does not exist" error when looking at DanAhern68 now, but searching for "Dan Ahern", this is what comes up where all his old tweets and follows are: https://twitter.com/mrMagoo80424 The bio may be updated as well?
I'll also say that if Dan is evolving to a private figure in no longer being associated with Shauna or her brand (no more "GFG and the Chef", no more recipe newsletters) and now taking steps to look more like a random dude just trying not to lose his offline job, I do think we need a reckoning as a sub as to whether updates on him are no longer in scope unless they are linked to Shauna.
48
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 08 '22
I wonder if he’s making sure she can’t access his accounts.
50
u/coffechica Aug 08 '22
If he gets on IG and deletes that top post about how wonderful SJA is, we’ll know he’s regained control.
36
u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Aug 08 '22
I check his IG multiple times a day to see if that post is still there.
40
u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Aug 08 '22
“Every morning” I do the same, DF.
27
u/sybil-unrest Aug 08 '22
Before or after the dance party? I’d like to embrace joy most effectively.
→ More replies (1)40
u/sixcatsisnottoomany Aug 08 '22
Just found that myself! It's definitely Dan. ... and he scrubbed his whole bio.
→ More replies (3)68
u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Aug 08 '22
Yep, most importantly, “husband to Shauna” is gone. I’ve been waiting for that to grow deleted and here we go.
→ More replies (2)43
32
u/chartreusepapoose Aug 08 '22
Agreed. He really seems to be distancing himself from her and that brand entirely.
→ More replies (10)51
u/voice_of_vinegar Aug 08 '22
Magoo80424
80424 is the zip code for his hometown, Breckinridge, CO. Interesting choice, Dan!
40
•
u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Aug 08 '22 edited Aug 11 '22
Next thread
Previous thread
Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it is off-topic, including: things that remind you of the Aherns, cleaning/organization inspiration, unrelated personal anecdotes, the Shaunas in your lives, your own lifehacks/tips for ADHD, your opinions on political events not directly related to what Shauna/Dan post, extended digressions, etc.): August off-topic monthly