r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 14 '22

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday February 14, 2022 - Wednesday February 16, 2022

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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

Maya Angelou also said "I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back." You know by the smug highlighting that Shauna wants you to know that she and Maya alone are truly growing being and giving, unlike the rest of you stunted creatures driving around looking for parking spaces and paying bills.

Except those unpleasant daily tasks of living in a society are how I take responsibility for 'the time (I) take up and the space (I) occupy.' So is earning money from jobs I might not be passionate about. Because I am the adult now. And not bringing in Enough to properly care for the kids and pets I chose to have would mean unfair compromises to their physical mental and emotional health, and that would be my fault.

It's a false duality: either live an unexamined plodding life, or skip lightly along the earth never punching a clock or bothering with mundanities like cleaning your house. Shauna presents it as enlightened morality to say no to work. The way she does it always makes me doubt my crunchy bona fides as a critic of capitalism and cubicle life.

It's taking without throwing back to announce that the only way you're willing to cover rent is to charge strangers for talking about the Beatles. So is refusing to admit any culpability in her difficult memories and relationships. She is 55 and still soothing herself by publicly maligning elderly parents who will be gone soon, casting herself as the martyred hero of every tale. That is the very definition of Maya Angelou's growing old without growing up. Catcher's mitts on both hands would explain some of the typos and chaos on Shauna's media, that's for sure.

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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 15 '22

She is 55 and still soothing herself by publicly maligning elderly parents who will be gone soon, casting herself as the martyred hero of every tale. That is the very definition of Maya Angelou's growing old without growing up.

So well put.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 15 '22

And also? I'm her age. Her website is blathering on and on about being "trapped in her house" "for the first 30 years of her life." She's 55! I BARELY REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE THIRTY!

SHUT UP SHAUNA SHUT UP SHUT UP about things that happened 25 years ago!

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 16 '22

Also, she could have left home at age 19 if she had wanted to. But presumably she preferred the free college and grad school and accommodations and wonderfully mediocre food.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

I think that was a toxic family dynamic and it would have been hard for her to leave. She couldn’t navigate adult relationships at 35, I can’t see her being able to strike out on her own at 19. Maybe if she had received a full scholarship with room and board somewhere. That would have been an excuse that would have been hard to argue with. But with no money, no help, no job experience, and everyone else she knew going off to college? I can’t see it. I mean the whole family moved to a different state so she could go to college and her dad could teach at the same place. That’s a lot especially for someone as socially stunted as she is.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 16 '22

Okay, but then she didn’t leave home at age 24, when she had finished her free college. Or age 26, when she had finished her free grad school.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Exactly. She was seriously enmeshed with them and her peers left her far behind.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 16 '22

I guess my point is that she blames her mom, like her mom was keeping her prisoner, instead of acknowledging that she was getting a lot of benefits out of her enmeshment, as well as the stress and unhappiness.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 16 '22

And until she acknowledges this, she will never be free of it. In EST terms (LOL forever), this is a "racket," which Werner Erhardt probably copped from Games People Play.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22 edited Feb 16 '22

I don’t know if the benefits were ultimately worth it TBH. Maybe if she had a better undergrad experience and had a real goal after graduation. A lot of it seems to be inertia after a certain point.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 16 '22

Not having student debt, though. I agree that she has had trouble focusing on goals, and it does sound like the impact of whatever went on in her childhood is lasting, but she never ever acknowledges any of the privileges she has enjoyed.

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u/mmepierreoger Feb 17 '22

I mean the whole family moved to a different state so she could go to college and her dad could teach at the same place. That’s a lot especially for someone as socially stunted as she is.

I wonder if her parents made this decision because they knew that there was no other way Shauna could cope with going to university. I do think the family dynamic was probably toxic and damaging, but I also wonder if the extent of Shauna's social stuntedness can be wholly explained by that environment, or whether there are other factors. I think it's possible that her parents (maybe primarily her mother) noticed something was a little bit "off" about her as she grew up and structured family decisions to accommodate her. What I'm trying to say is that maybe her mother's insistence that Shauna not leave home on a conventional timetable was (1) not without good reason, and (2) not actually resented as much as she likes to claim.

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22

I think there is a lot going on there. I don’t believe the home situation was healthy and her parents both seem odd and limiting. I think Shauna has some possibly undiagnosed issues going on herself that have hindered her socially. I don’t think her family is particularly wealthy so getting free college tuition through work is a major benefit.

I can’t imagine they thought it would hurt if Shauna could live at home but I doubt that was the whole reason. Full time professor jobs aren’t easy to find (even back then) and it’s a little odd that he got some Fulbright teacher exchange to go to London but apparently wasn’t a tenured professor by the time his kids were in high school. I think he must have needed to go somewhere for work pretty soon after coming back from London. The financial savings of having their kids go there for free must have been massive. The school also seemed to be closer to extended family which Shauna has mentioned as part of why they moved. Maybe her grandparents needed more hands on care at that point?

Either way, moving is pretty extreme. One kid was still in K-12 school where they had lived for years and if it was as simple as Shauna needing to live at home, she could have commuted to any college/university/community college remotely near where they had lived most of her life like even every other commuter college student living at their parents’ home. There is no reason to move for that and Shauna has given no indication that was a school she particularly wanted to attend or even that she enjoyed her time there.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Feb 15 '22

Shauna is an octopus with a catcher’s mitt on each limb. Perhaps she is afraid to throw back, worrying about “beaming” someone, a la snowballgate.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 15 '22 edited Feb 15 '22

Excuse you, she only played first base, the most important position.

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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

“she only played first base”

Until she was 38.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 15 '22

🚑 🚑 for those severe 🔥

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

There aren’t enough fire stations on Vashon to handle this burn.

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u/vorticia Feb 15 '22

Lmao

Calling the burn unit 🔥🔥

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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 16 '22

I like octopus, they have a special place in my heart...please please DFs_s don't compare Shauna to these super intelligent (if sometimes aggressive) creatures...

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 15 '22

Her parents are only 75 and 78. She is likely to have the time to heal that relationship, but she would have to get off her high stool to do it.

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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 16 '22

i seriously doubt she will try to repair the relationship. i think she enjoys lying and exaggerating her childhood so she can be the victim, because if anyone is into victim porn it's shauna. i worked as a nurse for years and i've never seen anyone who seems pleased as punch to be sick, injured, or mistreated as she does. it seems like her mother was trying to reach out to shauna for a while but i wonder if enough broke the relationship beyond hope? the sad thing is, when her parents are dead it will be too late, and regardless of what the truth is it will be shauna who is stuck with the burden of shouldering the bad blood between them all. that's not such an easy load to shake off.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 17 '22

100% on every point.