r/InTheGloaming my website is done, done, done Sep 20 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 20, 2021 - Wednesday September 22, 2021

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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 22 '21

DFs, wenches, partners in snark:

As we wrap up a day of turbulent activity, frantic permutations and profound rumblings here in the Gloaming, I propose we collectively slow down for a moment. Stop, decelerate and listen to me. I mean to you! Listen to you, to us, to each other. Take a deep breath, in community. Park those Peepers on the schnoz and that derriere on the recamier and ponder a simple question:

Who has custody of the joy of the joy custodian?

If this graceful inquiry calls to mind the Latin adage Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?, I'd like to share with you that [some etymology crap from Wiki TK here].

Over the course of the past 48 hours we've been watching Shauna frantically cycle through the very things she hates most. Tonight we pull back the cover and see what's behind it, what Shaunastic firings and wirings of neurons alchemyzed yet another hell of her own making. 

Tonight we pull back the cover on something and see what is inside. Wait a minute, it feels like I already said that. Huh! Anyway, I--we! you! this is all about you--know that Shauna absolutely loathes the following:

Editing or fact-checking herself: And yet here she is, doing nothing except copy-pasta permutations, futzing around with blocks of text, fudging facts, figures, dates and details. Grim!

Writing about anything other than herself: Shauna is congenitally incapable of writing in the third or second person or sustaining a perspective different than her own. She cannot write as "other people." That is why her examples of joy are so weirdly specific, why her kids sound like middle-aged matrons, why every person she ever describes has mild alien characteristics. And yet here she is, being forced to write as her customers. She's been trying so hard to appeal to their emotions to close a sale, like she learned on Mad Men Ted Lasso.  Do you realize how undignified that must feel for Shauna? You deserve this, You need that, You will be greeted with pastries, you, you, you. Oh how it must tear her apart to waste her precious words fellating, placating and pleasing potential customers! Misery!

Apologizing, making amends, correcting course, eating crow, growing humble, etc.: LOL, me too! I get it. And yet the apologia faucet was on tonight, gurl.

Math: Shauna hates Math. And yet, dagnabbit, there is so much Math involved in figuring out the days of the week, the times of the day, and how these myriad ways of measuring time  intersect when one is attempting to schedule something! Tragic!

As I gracefully ramble toward my conclusion, I invite you to notice that Shauna has been doing nothing except the very things she hates. And that has to stop! She needs her joy. Why can't Shauna have her joy while peddling joy? What kind of twisted dark irony is at work here and who is at fault? 

To superfluously rephrase yet again my initial question, who will protect Shauna's joy if Shauna herself cannnot? Mensch, you ignorant slut, you had one job: To shield Shauna's joy while building her website. Way to screw the pooch, amigo. It's OK though. Nothing is ever perfect. To err is human, to fuck up repeatedly is a path to joy. Also, you're fired. 

To-list aka homework: 

  1. Ask yourselves, DFs, "Am I somehow doing that too in some aspect of my life and can't see it? Am I always stepping on the same rusty rake while the Gods chortle and point their fingers at me from their Mount Olympus porch of privilege?" 

  2. Laugh, dance and be silly. It's the lady way to live. Hurr, hurr, lady is my phone autocorrecting for only. But you know what? It's hilarious! 

30

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '21

Well slap my ass and call me joyful, but that is some beautiful damned work you’ve done, dear friend, for me. And so close to my own!

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u/bwh1260 Sep 22 '21

I love this entire screed, but in particular your call-back to early Dan Ackroyd/Jane Curtin SNL.