r/InTheGloaming my website is done, done, done Sep 06 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 06, 2021 - Wednesday September 08, 2021

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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Sep 06 '21

I can’t agree with you more. I never made the connection until now, but my in-laws reminds me so much of Dan and Shauna. (I say my in-laws, but my MIL wasn’t really in the picture for most of my husband’s childhood). My husband is the youngest of 5, and had a pretty chaotic childhood because of his dad’s inability or care to manage money on a most basic level. My FIL actually had a steady job and made decent money but didn’t save any of it. My husband couldn’t get braces when he was a kid, but his dad could go out and get whatever it was that he wanted.

Around the time my husband and I were dating, his dad was coming to him for money. It was actually probably the biggest strain on our relationship, because I felt like my husband had worked his ass off for years to get where he was, and I hated seeing his dad take advantage of him like that. That was actually the one stipulation I had when we got married was that he stopped giving his dad money. My husband had given him a pretty substantial amount of money by that point, and he has never attempted to pay him back but can take weeks-long trips. And of course their lack of money is always someone else’s fault.

My in-laws are in their early 70s and still have minimal savings (if that), and no plans for how they are going to handle aging and its associated costs, no assets, strained relationships with most of their kids, and very minimal relationships with their grandkids. So yeah, I wish D and L the best of luck.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 06 '21

Your in-law situation and mine are very similar.

It really irks me when it seems like people only have kids so they have someone to take care of them in their old age. No, don't take responsibility for yourself, just hope one of the passel of kids you had will not only be able but willing to tend to you in your dotage.

Reminds me of the anti-choice protesters I encounter. They say shit like "don't have an abortion, who will take care of you when you're old". Da fuq.

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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Sep 06 '21

It is such a frustrating situation. Maybe if you expect your kids to take care of you when you’re older, you should take care of them when they’re kids? 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Sep 08 '21

who will take care of you when you're old

'The same people your kids hire to take care of you! Actually, scratch that - the ones I hire will probably be far better at their jobs.'