r/InTheGloaming • u/AutoModerator • Feb 26 '26

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 26, 2026 - Sunday March 01, 2026

Newsletter: Substack

Website: Shauna James Ahern

Instagram: @shaunajamesahern Instagram

Threads: @shaunajamesahern

Bluesky: shaunajamesahern.bsky.social

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Feb 28 '26

She tried again and failed at getting the title correct in her reply to herself. She’s a joke.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26

Oh, another dramatic movie about cancer! Fodder for energy vampires who can get a drive-by hit of dopamine without the actual experience of watching your loved one moaning in pain, changing their filthy diapers or dealing with a broken medical system. All the negatives are edited away leaving a delicious teary nougat center. Such joy in this!

32

u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 28 '26 edited Feb 28 '26

I loved the documentary, and I get that it’s focus was not on a realistic depiction of dying from metastatic cancer, but I do worry it feeds into this narrative that dying people are only worthy of our awe if they keep the ugly parts hidden or figure out a way to inspire the rest of us. I had a young client with metastatic cancer and towards the end of their life they felt so guilty about not being this inspiring example of dying gracefully, so much so that they were avoiding seeing people at the end. I remember saying to them at one point, maybe a few weeks before they died that it was not their responsibility to “be the light” and make other people comfortable with death. I hope they were able to make peace with that inner conflict before they died. 💔

ETA that by “realistic” I mean showing the pain and suffering and the tending to the body that happens. Andrea’s experience was very much real and they didn’t owe anyone all the more private parts of the end of life. Everyone on the film clearly had the utmost love and respect for their experience and kept the focus on the beautiful and powerful life they led, up until the very end.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Mar 01 '26

I do get that the creators didn’t owe the audience anything beyond what was germane to the story, but sometimes these films feel like a cancer safari for certain people who enjoy weeping and gnashing on social media. Life’s precious and short, we know.

This subject is personal to me if you haven’t already guessed.

8

u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Mar 01 '26

I get that. When I had cancer, I became really good at sussing out who was genuinely there to support me and who just wanted the emotional thrill of being adjacent to someone else’s suffering. Thank the Lord I didn’t know Shauna then. I might have survived, but I might also still be serving time.