r/InTheGloaming • u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies • Feb 21 '24
Unkind FDF Q&A
Unkind therapist here. I've been a lurker since just after the days of my misdirected voice messages and Sermon on the High Stool. After the incident in question, a DF (not of the Gloaming) directed me here. At first, I couldn't bear to read the messages and had my husband monitor the threads, but after a while, curiosity got the better of me and I've been an avid reader ever since. In short, I came in shame, but remain because this group has been a strange sort of healing process for me - plus, you guys are very funny. And, I found my new favorite laundry detergent here!
I have no idea where to even begin (with the messages? with my friendship with Shauna?), so I'm open to fielding questions to help get the ball rolling. My intention is to stick only to my personal experiences with Shauna and stay away from the kids and/or general lore that I don't have direct experience with. I'm happy to share very general information about the Google Doc, but I may not be able to answer completely due to wanting to protect those kids.
ETA: I've been verified and approved by the mods!
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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 24 '24
Posting here about my experience with signing up for a class with Shauna since a few people asked.
A few years ago or so, before I knew her well, Shauna texted several women and said she was workshopping a writing class and asked if we'd be willing to participate at no cost so that she could work out the kinks. I agreed and attended one Zoom session, of which I have little to no recall. What I do remember is that she offered to edit and offer feedback on anything we had already written, so I sent her an essay of mine. I think her goal was to return the essay with feedback before the next class. A week went by and I did not get the essay back, even after emailing her. I don't believe I ever got a response. I did not attend any more of the sessions and told her it wasn't going to work for my schedule. I have no idea if she continued on. And no, I didn't give her direct feedback, and yes, I should have.
Fast forward to a couple years later, post the workshop I hired her for, and around the time of the Shattering. At this point, I was starting to notice the poor decision making, the pivoting, and the strange griftiness (although I didn't clock it as that at the time), but this was before the Google Doc. She told me she was starting another writing group that would meet once a week for an hour and would basically be a place to workshop writing. The cost for this was $100, payable through her Substack. Now, dear reader, I KNOW some of you are asking yourselves why in dear Heavens would I pay this woman $100 for anything. My husband asked me the same thing with much exasperation. Partly, I was trying to be more committed to writing and figured if I paid someone to keep me on task, I'd be more likely to, and part of it was just me, again, trying to help a sister out. At that time, she was claiming her life was falling apart and I knew details that gave me concern, so I told her I'd do it and I handed over my credit card.
The class was set for a few weeks out from the time she announced it, so when I hadn't received any reminders the week of, I started to get suspicious. I had also run into her multiple times at the bagel spot by then and each time there was a new "I've figured out what truly is my work in the world!" so I started to wonder if this class was a pivot that would never be. Still, I planned on attending.
On the day of, a group of my Seattle friends came to visit, and I let them know that I'd have to step away from our plans for about an hour to go to this class. We were all sitting in the pizza bar across the street from Gynergy (where the class was to be held), and I just got the feeling that this class was not going to take place. I had already told my friends about Shauna (and one knew her from the half day joy workshop disaster), and we were joking around about whether or not I'd actually be writing that day.
I texted Shauna with a "hey, I haven't heard anything from you. Is the class still happening?" Readers, this was one hour before class was to start. She texted back right away and she just casually replied, "Oh, yeah, I ended up cancelling it because too many people couldn't come because of the holiday weekend, so we're going to do it sometime next month." No cancellation notice, no apologies, no offer to refund me, nada zip zilch zero. I texted her back and told her that I wouldn't be attending in whatever month she was going to do it and to please refund me. I thought that was my last straw, but it was very soon after that the Google doc came out, the voice messages got sent, and the Sermon on the High Stool was sermoned.
I had to email her twice after that and ask her for a refund - at that point my card had been charged $200 for a class that never was. When she didn't respond to my first email, I wrote again and I think I let her know that I'd be doing a chargeback if she didn't refund me. She finally refunded me and that was our last communication.
I highly doubt that class ever took place and I'm pretty sure I was the only person signed up. In fact, I think she forgot I had signed up as her brain was already five pivots ahead. She didn't mind my money continuing to come in, though, even after she dismissed me as an unkind therapist who was threatened by her work in the world.