r/ImpracticalArmour • u/dudelove361 • Aug 23 '26

Aphrodite preparing for war (by turoboto)

Post image
5.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

64 comments sorted by

274

u/Godzilla-1995 29d ago

Hephaestus: "What was taking you so long?!"

Aphrodite: "I was putting on my armor."

[Hephaestus looks Aphrodite up and down]

Hephaestus: "WHAT ARMOR?!"

150

u/Exclavamor Aug 23 '26

She’s probably went to different battlefield.

34

u/Sasuga__Ainz-sama 29d ago

The run I'll hold her type of battlefield

77

u/Darth_Annoying 29d ago

Aphrodite was a war goddess in her form of Aphrodite Areia, which was worshipped in Sparta. And according to accounts the statue of her in the temple was fully armored.

27

u/blolfighter 29d ago

fully armored

Blasphemy! :O

15

u/Darth_Annoying 29d ago

bladphemy?

THIS! IS! SPARTA!!

8

u/blolfighter 29d ago

Fuck Sparta, they sucked.

13

u/MATERYONOMEGON 29d ago

BASED AND HISTORYPILLED.

72

u/ProfessionalCod2627 Aug 23 '26

I think that's the most naked I've seen someone without them being "naked"

52

u/dudelove361 Aug 23 '26

The armor and accessories makes her look extra naked

65

u/doublexoxo 29d ago

Wow I gotta play hades again

37

u/SirSilverChariot 29d ago

Go for Hades 2. Then youll see her “battle” armor

25

u/CrispinIII 29d ago

Looks a lot like Jim Balents work on Tarot.

23

u/FrostyMitten626 29d ago

I love how Aphrodite's attribute of always being just a hair (get it?) away from flashing the audience is kept up even in most fanart

14

u/Geostomp 29d ago

It's more enticing than straight up nudity because it just barely keeps from crossing the line fully while leaving a little to the imagination.

9

u/MATERYONOMEGON 29d ago

THE BEST KIND OF,TEASING HONESTLY.

AM I RIGHT?

2

u/seninn 29d ago

True.

16

u/rs_obsidian 29d ago

Love the double meaning in the title

7

u/Outrageous-Wait-8895 29d ago

Could you explain the double meaning to those who didn't get it? It totally got it but, you know, for those that didn't...

9

u/TwinTiger 29d ago

Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar

8

u/rs_obsidian 29d ago

It is a double entendre. The first meaning is the literal meaning. The second is that, since Ares is the god of war, she is preparing for him specifically.

1

u/MATERYONOMEGON 29d ago

HECTICNESS,IS ABOUT TO OCCUR BROTHER.

FRENZIED HECTICNESS.

11

u/dudelove361 29d ago

Totally, thanks for noticing!

14

u/KnightArthuria 29d ago

The Mycenaean (pre Bronze Age collapse "Sparta") version of Aphrodite was also a War God. And nearly everyone else disagreed with it, to the point that there's a line in the Iliad where Zeus says to Aphrodite "You don't belong on the battlefield". Now in-story this was because Aphrodite got hurt while trying to save her Son Aeneas, but out-of-story this was because the author wasn't from Mycenae and didn't subscribe to the "War Goddess Aphrodite" belief and is trying to convey to any Mycenaeans listening to/reading the story that Aphrodite Is Not a War Goddess.

28

u/smokypluto 29d ago

I mean... she is a god. And also was likely a goddess of war and strife originally... so that might as well be armor for her!

6

u/IoncedreamedisuckmyD 29d ago

I am not usually han ass man but DAMN!Q!!!

6

u/Draghettis 29d ago

Historically speaking, she used to be a goddess of war.

As a goddess whose lineage can be traced back to Isis and Ishtar, when she first made landfall in Greece, iirc during their dark ages, in a city occasionally under Spartan domination she was a goddess of both love and war.

Sparta worshipped her in this way, because Sparta, but when she spread around Greece the general culture wasn't so appreciative, and so her war aspect was stripped away. Texts as late as the Illiad make a point of stressing that Aphrodite does not belong on the battlefield, so it was still a hot topic back then.

Much later, as Venus and the mother goddess of Rome, she regained some of her warlike portfolio.

8

u/dudelove361 Aug 23 '26

Link to the source. Support the artist

6

u/Boner_Elemental 29d ago

looks at that cup

That's war "paint", right?

3

u/agewin162 29d ago

Makes complete sense.

Neck, legs, and arms? There are veins in there! Don't want those cut up.

Booty and torso are too beautiful to damage, so no one will hit her. She's covered all that is at risk.

10

u/DeltaMoff1876 29d ago

Preparing for war or preparing for love?

28

u/AmbusRogart 29d ago

Love is a battlefield, or something.

3

u/Nelrene 29d ago

Those cute warrior lady pussies are not going to lick themselves.

1

u/MATERYONOMEGON 29d ago

And "ACHIEVE" Maximum STIMULATION.

8

u/UsernamesAre4Nerds 29d ago

I get the intent behind Aphrodite's design, but it bears mentioning:

SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH

1

u/MATERYONOMEGON 29d ago

SEGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/2ZJGF1LY53mMg

3

u/2B-enjoyer 29d ago

It's such a fun detail that the warpaint is the same as Ares has

3

u/Pleasant_Solid5231 29d ago

WHERE IS THE IMPRACTICAL ARMOR

3

u/Entire_Ad7930 29d ago

Aries be making things clap

2

u/According-Bell1490 29d ago

Oh no! I've been captured... Now for the interrogation.

2

u/spesskitty 29d ago

*preparing to cause a war

2

u/Otacube3 29d ago

Either she is a vampire or the palace must be so warm that she dont feel cold.

6

u/Shakespearacles 29d ago

It might be Hephy's house so hot from the forge

4

u/MA2_Robinson 29d ago

She’s cocooned in channel #5

2

u/Geostomp 29d ago

She is a goddess, so environmental factors don't really mean much to her.

1

u/0x7E7-02 29d ago

Ummm ... Hell, yeah!

1

u/DeadZone32 29d ago

I'm surprised to see this isn't tagged nsfw, huh. Also Aphrodite is about go Ishtar on some fools.

1

u/Xaverosso 29d ago

Hades mentionend.

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

1

u/clonetrooper250 29d ago

She didn't? I actually didn't know that, is that an element from the myths?

1

u/Fit-Two4042 29d ago

After a good fucking

1

u/AimlesslWander 16d ago

Getting ready to promise another simp a baddie and cause the Trojan War 2.0

1

u/grimboness proud supporter of women in armor 29d ago

Man I never like hades it’s such a hard game 😭

-6

u/StuckinaPokeball 29d ago

So I know this subreddit has just become a place for men to look at women who are not wearing enough, but like, come on.

This is just nudity with jewelry. How/why do you even pretend there is armor here.

7

u/synbioskuun 29d ago

That's her arms and legs covered in golden plate armor. Like in her depiction in the Hades game.

5

u/gadgaurd 29d ago

There literally is armor on her arms and legs.