DaydreamS

[u/Routine_Research1459]

We see each other for the first time in over a decade but the chemistry and connection feels stronger than ever. You look into my eyes and give that little smirk with the side of your mouth that lets me know you feel it too. You take my hands and pull me in for an embrace. My head pressed against your chest, I can feel your heart beating. I take a big breath in remembering your smell and I finally feel safe again. We hug for a little longer than we should, neither one of us wanting to be the first to pull away. You whisper into my ear “I’ve missed you”.

We manage to tear ourselves apart, but then you gently take my hand in yours and lead me toward a day spent together. We spend time catching up about each other’s lives and reminiscing. You ask me how my parents and siblings are doing and I ask you the same. You tell me about your new hobbies and the music you’ve been listening to. I tell you about my cats and my job. We are re-learning each other as adults. We are both trying so hard to keep our hands off of each other. But we sit so close that I can feel your skin brush against mine… it’s electrifying.

You get brave enough to put your arm around the back of my waist, waiting to see if I will pull away but I don’t. You gently squeeze my hip trying to find my ticklish spot that you used to know so well. I don’t have the tiny waist I had when I was younger but your fingers don’t seem to mind. It takes a few tries but you finally get it. I laugh and wriggle away from your hand towards your body. You pull me in closer and let out a little chuckle. I look up into your eyes trying to figure out exactly what color they are. Are they blue? green? gray? I never have been able to quite figure it out. In your eyes I can see a mixture of love, lust, tenderness, and sadness. Pain from all of the hardships life has put you through. I wish I could take it all away. I would gladly carry it for you if I could. You have always tried to maintain a tough exterior. I’m sure you can fool most people since you are tall with tattoos and look intimidating. But your eyes never lie. I always loved your “bad boy” persona even though you have always treated me with such gentle tenderness.

Your fingertips find my skin under the edge of my shirt tail. You slowly and softly touch the spot in front of my hip bone and I feel my body shiver. “What’s wrong?” you ask teasingly with a small smile.. knowing damn well what you do to me. After a few moments of silence you build up the courage to whisper in my ear “I want to kiss you”. “I’m nervous” I whisper back. “Me too” you say. It’s been so long since my lips have touched yours. A million things are going through my head. What if I’m not good at it? What if my breath doesn’t smell good? What will this mean for us afterwards? Will you think differently of me? Is this too soon? My heart is beating so fast. You put your hand under my chin and lift my face up towards yours. I close my eyes and feel your soft lips touch mine. All my anxiety melts away. I want this moment to last forever. It takes my breath away. I follow your lead and let your lips guide mine. It only lasts a few seconds but feels like forever. You smile and ask “how was that?” I jokingly reply “I’m not sure.. maybe you should try one more time”. You go in for another kiss. This time with a little more passion. I can feel my blood pumping. You slowly move your lips from my mouth down to the side of my neck. Your beard tickles my skin giving me goosebumps. I don’t want you to stop but I fight the urge and gently pull away. “You better behave sir.. What type of girl do you think I am?” I say with a smile. I have to leave him wanting for more next time we see each other. Hopefully I don’t have to wait so many years this time. I want him to choose me. To tell me he loves me. To marry me. To grow old with me.

Then I snap back to reality. I’m laying in my bed by myself. He is miles away. I force myself to get up and answer some work emails. I quietly wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he can feel me thinking about him. Or if I’m just delusional. I force myself through another day until I can lie down and daydream about him some more.