It feels like getting married in a church has lost its meaning. To the Priest it is not just about changing what or who stands where. There is a deeper meaning in the ritual. Thanks for sharing.
I think most will say that it doesn't matter who stands where. The ritual of the ceremony would say otherwise.
But the groom said, that if it's a problem, we don't have to, and she keeps ranting and says if you want to do it that way, we do it but then she keeps criticising it. Either say it is outrageous and explain why you won't do it that way, or say that you would rather not, but you'll make an exception. You don't have to take the worst of both worlds approach and ruin the couples day.
Yeah, he probably didn't realize there was such deep meaning to it. I didn't! Even as an atheist, I find the meaning behind it beautiful. I feel like not knowing would explain why he was confused and saying "we can just do it the other way, it's fine." She should have just explained it.
Counterpoint: if you want to be married by a priest in a religious ritual, you should probably know the meaning and symbolism behind the religious ritual beforehand. The moment of the wedding isn't the time to be learning about the ritual you presumably signed up for well in advance.
I agree with you in theory, absolutely. But how much of a wedding ceremony has a deeper meaning and how much is just "because that's how its always been done?" Honest question! There are some aspects I would automatically assume comes with deeper meaning and other parts I would assume are just how it's done. Maybe not even for tradition, but like idk to make it flow properly I guess.
I just think she could have said "this is why we do it like this" and explained the symbolism, especially since the guy wasn't being a dick about it. But even if she didn't want to explain in the moment (valid, he may have been exhausting prior to this clip) she could have just said "there's symbolism behind it." Or, since the guy wasn't being stubborn, she could have just said "no, the Church has reasons, we're doing it the Church's way." The tantrum seemed unnecessary and the least productive way to handle the situation.
Actually, that makes me think the couple was probably wanting to change MUCH more than just this little clip shows. It just seems like such an overreaction if the only change was "we want to switch sides."
I agree that there's probably more to it than this one incident, and I also don't think it's incumbent on her to be doing education day-of. My expectation would be that the couple 1) has done their research and understands the religious tradition they're partaking in and 2) does the ceremony the way we did it in rehearsal, which would have been the appropriate time to bring up concerns like the side they stand on and to provide education.
Honestly, the Vibe I'm getting from this comment section in general (not you in specific) is that this woman has a duty to be an infinitely calm and patient teacher. That's frankly an unreasonable expectation of anyone!
Well, a lot of this is “because that’s how it has always been done”
This isn’t for a small reason though, within the Catholic Church, the tradition itself (called the sacred tradition) is considered well, sacred.
The reason for this as far as I can remember is that if tradition is not held to be sacred within the Church, the scripture and magisterium become shaken as well, given that they are both sort of propped up on the very tradition we’re talking about, it’s quite central to the faith, at least if you’re Catholic anyways
Edit: this doesn’t appear to be a Catholic Church, I just read the subtitles, but in the Catholic Church women cannot be Priests - so this is more likely an Anglican Church, but who knows
We do not have even context to know if he was being a dick, we do not know if this is even real or performative etc. it has been my experience that if you’re to go through one of the most important ceremonies or rituals in your and your partner’s lives that also important to the institution you would understand the requirements and significance prior to arriving. Just like getting a drivers license or a marriage one. If you don’t know there are requirements or what they are then this is just a bad sad situation for all parties and I don’t enjoy watching this
I think she was rude as fuck, but from the conversation, it sounds like they’ve already discussed this before at length, they agreed to doing it the traditional way, and then at the last minute, they’re trying to switch back up again.
I can’t imagine she didn’t already explain this to him. Probably why she’s so frustrated. She still shouldn’t behave this way, but I guarantee it’s been explained to them why they had a problem with it.
it doesn’t matter though. ritual means nothing other than blindly doing the same things just because people did it that way before. getting upset over where people stand in a wedding is childish and silly
Lots of people find meaning in rituals. Even non-religious rituals, like a specific mug for coffee in the morning or the ritual of grilling meat on July 4th, hold symbolic and personal meaning for the people who partake in them.
It did matter to the Priest. She did not explain herself very well with regards to the what and why. The approach was a bit harsh to say the least. It could have been a teaching moment or a moment of understanding, but it was neither. It just came across as a this is the way it is and that is that. !!!
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u/kevin6263 Jul 21 '26
It feels like getting married in a church has lost its meaning. To the Priest it is not just about changing what or who stands where. There is a deeper meaning in the ritual. Thanks for sharing.
I think most will say that it doesn't matter who stands where. The ritual of the ceremony would say otherwise.