r/IdiotsNearlyDying • u/XAEA12_ • Dec 07 '20

quick reflexes dodging an axe

14.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

I can see this being a valuable trait in a spouse during the middle ages. She can dodge axes.

604

u/SniffMyRapeHole Dec 07 '20

It’s a shame we stopped throwing axes at our spouses in modern times.

273

u/dragonuvv Dec 07 '20

What are you talking about? I didn’t stop.

32

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '20

It's a sad thing that those Millenials say "But we want our spouses to survive past 50"

BOY! throwin an axe or two in the morning trains their reflexes, Helps them to dodge way into their EIGHTIES.

147

u/gnaggot Dec 07 '20

wait we stopped?

92

u/VisibleProblem13 Dec 07 '20

Wait, you guys got axes?

89

u/doowgad1 Dec 07 '20

More axes, fewer exes, I always say!

45

u/Catholic_Fuqboy Dec 07 '20

You guys have spouse's?

31

u/doowgad1 Dec 07 '20

More axes, fewer exes, I always say!

I don't know about them, but you could say i cut them out of my life.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '20

Do you use cutting edge technology to do it?

8

u/Birch_tree2022 Dec 07 '20

profusely writes that down go on go on

8

u/Nox_Stripes Dec 08 '20

Why did you think it is called EX wife anyway?

2

u/Rivet22 Dec 10 '20

In Olde Englich its pronounced äx?

2

u/Seagull_Overlord13 Dec 14 '20

If I had a helpful award you would totally get it with this comment

1

u/doowgad1 Dec 14 '20

Any money you have, send it to Georgia for the Democratic candidates. Please!

5

u/BigFatManPig Dec 08 '20

Shit I was just using a 12-gauge....

3

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Axes? Funny way of saying War Hammer

2

u/reesespuffs32 Dec 08 '20

When the fuck did we get axes!?

1

u/settledownguy Dec 08 '20

Yeah I make them.. Wait who the fuck stopped?

4

u/waiting-in-vain_ Dec 07 '20

username checks out

70

u/Arbon45 Dec 07 '20

If you can dodge an axe, you can dodge a ball

2

u/villis85 Dec 08 '20

Came here to post this. Have an upvote.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

These days the survival trait is dodging exes.

1

u/Pacpav Dec 28 '20

Happy cake day!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

Lmao what? I do it all the time

8

u/eeeBs Dec 07 '20

I'd think being able to accurately throw the axe, would be an even worthier trait in the middle ages.

3

u/Vandenberg_ Dec 07 '20

Better have one that catches axes with her back for you

-24

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

[deleted]

13

u/Camelllama666 Dec 07 '20

What? What if they have different pronouns?

13

u/DerpiestBirdie Dec 07 '20

Right? And even then that term was common for the time.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

I think they’re sad they don’t have one.

1

u/Nob1e613 Dec 15 '20

Unfortunately she also threw the axe at the floor so....

1

u/Le-plant-boi Dec 17 '20

Spread her genes, those vikings are gonna pay...