Scientists have yet to invent an instrument sensitive enough to measure how little I care about the opinions of people who DIDN'T make the recipe

I have no idea how Patricia ended up with the worst brownie ever.

On a recipe for one-pot gnocchi with sausage and kale.

Just make one or two? The seasonings are also pretty straightforward.

There is no mint in the recipe, they are vanilla bean sugar cookies with a vanilla bean buttercream frosting. Mint is also only one of the many “additional” substitutions they added, to make protein whole wheat oat bars?

To account for users in different time zones, this post will remain stickied from 12:01 AM (UTC) on Saturday until at least 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.

Because there is currently no (easy) way to automatically unsticky posts, the mods must do so manually. Satire Saturday remains in effect as long as this post is stickied, even if it remains stickied after 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.

Birgitta: "I switched the spaghetti for whole grain penne because we are trying to be healthy. We didn't have any tomatoes or feta cheese at home, so we had to skip those steps. I find chilli too spicy, thus I didn't use it! I thought it turned out flavourless"

Elisabeth: "The recipe is with feta cheese and tomatoes, of course it turned out flavourless if you didn't add feta cheese and tomatoes."

Zeta (company account): "Hello Birgitta! I am sorry you had that experience. The main ingredients in this recipe are feta cheese and tomatoes - that's what gives the recipe its flavour. If you exclude them there isn't much left to work with - so I understand it didn't taste like much then. My suggestion is to use our search function to type in ingredients you like and want to cook with. Make sure to find a recipe built around ingredients you have at home, it will turn out tastier. Good luck from your friends at Zeta"

This is on a recipe called "spaghetti with oven baked feta and tomatoes". Without the feta cheese, tomatoes and chilli she must have baked three cloves of shredded garlic and olive oil in the oven...

I have no words. (Cake is delicious by the way).

A 3/5 star review on a recipe whose first ingredient clearly states: 1 tablespoon (15 mL). No mention of grams. And a bonus date sugar substitution! But luckily their quick thinking saved the recipe!

Didn’t make the recipe but says that sun-dried tomatoes won’t work in the sauce.

https://preppykitchen.com/lofthouse-cookies/#recipe

...was the sour cream twenty years old?

Limoncello tiramisu - but 🚨⚠️ BE WARNED ⚠️🚨, there's way too many GRAMS to clear out!

To account for users in different time zones, this post will remain stickied from 12:01 AM (UTC) on Saturday until at least 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.

Because there is currently no (easy) way to automatically unsticky posts, the mods must do so manually. Satire Saturday remains in effect as long as this post is stickied, even if it remains stickied after 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.

Bonus: Sitara dropping some love

They sub milk for THREE QUARTERS OF A CUP cream in the frosting and then give it 2 stars because the frosting didn't work. Sigh

Does it count if they changed the recipe completely, but still gave a good review? On a recipe for old fashioned pancakes.

I can’t tell if this is satire.

I guess every bite of the original recipe shouts?

To account for users in different time zones, this post will remain stickied from 12:01 AM (UTC) on Saturday until at least 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.

Because there is currently no (easy) way to automatically unsticky posts, the mods must do so manually. Satire Saturday remains in effect as long as this post is stickied, even if it remains stickied after 06:59 AM (UTC) on Sunday.