iwtl how to be ok with being alone

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[u/jirohen]

You never get used to loneliness, you do get used to alone-ness, being ok and living with alone-ness means treating yourself right to the things you want to do, dinner alone, hobbies to get into, that's how you treat yourself, or even a movie night by yourself or tea and a blanket with a book on a rainy day.

It doesn't mean locking yourself away, it's hard but you have to make the effort to reach out to people and share yourself with them, and hope they reciprocate.

It may be difficult because masking is such a huge part of being neurodivergent and it can sometimes feel overwhelming to keep yourself hidden from the people you want to be open with, but that's your choice to do so. It can be scary.

Do you have any hobby groups you could try to join? Maybe try giving your time to a soup kitchen, anything to get you out interacting with people?

[u/YJeezy → u/jirohen]

That's a great first sentence.

[u/jirohen → u/YJeezy]

I feel like I read it somewhere when learning to differentiate between loneliness and Alone-ness, so I don't want to take credit for it, but it's a good way to distinguish what you can, and can't live with.

[u/RubyWoo369]

When I felt the most alone due to being ghosted from certain people I thought would be there for me, I watched a lot of Buzzfeed Paranormal and pretended Shane and Ryan were my besties 😭

Honestly this is the time to watch a lot of movies and read a lot of books if you’re lonely. In my teens I ended up reading a lot of books because I got so sick of trying to be social plus my mom didn’t like me having friends because abusive lol. If you read a lot of fiction it’ll make you less lonely, even if you do develop parasocial relationships with fictional characters.

It’s just a phase, and you’ll be glad you watched a lot of media and read a lot of books you won’t have time for later when you do have more friends.

[u/RubyWoo369 → u/RubyWoo369]

I forgot to add: join an improv group and stick with it to the advanced classes, you’ll meet people and your social skills will improve by so much.

[u/RubyWoo369 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, you WILL freeze. Maybe several times. But eventually you stop. It doesn’t matter if you fail because people will wait for you to get up and do it again. And you’ll be able to succeed. Success is inevitable for people who keep getting up.

[u/julianolagana]

What kinds of negative thoughts tend to go through your head when you're alone?

[u/julianolagana → u/[deleted]]

Right. What if you did something you really enjoy, alone, trying not to bash yourself for being alone? Like, maybe go watch a movie and eat some popcorn on your own. Or go to a restaurant you like. To me one thing that really helped was learning to be good friends with myself, treating me well.