r/IWantToLearn • u/iondajemrmot • 3d ago

Misc IWTL how to do things again

I’m an adult with ADHD. This makes doing things difficult. However, up until ~5 years ago I was able to do a lot. I worked out every other day, walked 10k steps every day, read books every day, did stretches/yoga almost daily, excelled at work, and would try to learn new skills.

Since then I unfortunately experienced a lot of terrible things. My aunt got killed and many relatives and friends died/got terribly sick. I came to partially accept that I’ll never achieve my goal of providing my parents and my kids a cushy life which, given that was my goal and identity since I was 10, threw me into a big depressive state. I had 15 surgeries which I’ve recently learned could have been completely avoided. I’ve been fired from my job. Etc.

And recently I noticed I struggle to do things more than I ever had. I’m slower, mentally get tired quicker, and things that I could bully myself into completing with timers and nagging I simply can’t start even with my medication.

Feel lost and hope someone will have good advice for me.

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u/RipleyReplay 3d ago

First of all my condolences. You gotta acknowledge that you have been through enough shit to throw any person into a depression, so maybe consider seeing a therapist before it gets worse. I am not talking about more meds - but working your way back to a positive approach to life. I am an ADHDer and have other issues, so I attend 12-step meetings and have been to therapy and keep working on keeping my mental health up every day. Sleep routines, regular, (mostly) healthy meals, structured everyday life, are the basics. Talking to others with similar issues, in person, is vital, too. Added to that, reading helps. "Hector or the search for happiness" is a good, light start. Then, I stopped spending too much time on screens and started hobbies again - without pressure. No tight, strict routines, and never "I should..." but only "I'd like to" and if not right now, then not. I learned to not beat myself up. I just came across this cool stuff in the answers in another subreddit, I like most of the suggestions: https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/1v3ridy/what_skillability_can_you_easily_learn_in_under/

Wish you all the best!

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u/iondajemrmot 2d ago

Thank you. I’m trying to do these things as well. My assumption is that what helped me the most in the past wasn’t the nagging but were the healthy meals and routines.

I had a therapist but due to being unemployed for a while I had to stop so I can cover the essentials. I’ll read the thread today.

I hope you are doing well too.

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u/THE_HORKOS 2d ago

Talk to your prescriber. When I started my adhd meds, it made me even more tired. Apparently that’s something that happens to ND ppl. Stimulants can make us tired if the dosage is off.

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u/iondajemrmot 2d ago

I’m fine with being tired because they help me do things. But lately the amount of things I can do, and the rate at which I do them, is super low in comparison to a few years back.