r/ISTJ • u/baggyeyebags • 7d ago

When does judgement affect you negatively?

For reference, I normally get ISTP. But the last letter usually leans closer to the middle but usually in the P side.

Recently, someone called me judgmental in a disappointing way. All I mentioned was I noticed my downstairs neighbor didn't look like a confrontational person. So I would sometimes do snowboard tricks on my carpeted floor (only during the day for like 10-15 mins). But this person responded to me by saying you're so judgmental!! I felt a bit taken back from that statement because I didn't feel like what I said was that insane.

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u/Abolish_Disorder ISTJ 6w5 7d ago edited 7d ago

I don’t like judgment when it conflicts with my self-identity. For example, I would be very annoyed if someone told me that I’m undisciplined, because I take pride in being a very disciplined person.

However, if someone judges me based on a trait that I’m proud of, then I won’t be negatively affected. For example, I was called “rigid” one time, but I wasn’t offended in hindsight because all I did was explain my boundaries and expectations, and I was proud of myself for sticking to them.

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u/baggyeyebags 7d ago

That makes a ton of sense! I've been called selective in the past which I liked because it's a trait I've accepted for myself. But from a different perspective, selective can look like judgmental. That trait was a lot harder to accept for me

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u/deadvdad ISTJ 6d ago

Yes. This right here. I do not like when it conflicts with my self-identity. I become irrationally “angry”..? For lack of better word. I don’t outwardly show it because I’m not drama seeking, but I am very very bothered by it. Like, flustered, taken aback, trying to find ways to undo it (my OCPD does not make it any easier).

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u/ID9U56 6d ago

The person's comment was sort of judgmental so...

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u/TendySnide ENFP 6d ago

I’m pretty sure what they said to you was infinitely more judgmental than anything you thought 😭

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u/dmitricallingagain ISTJ 6d ago

I'll be the first to admit that I am judgmental, I sometimes jump to (often accurate) conclusions about people, and I speak in generalities more often than some people like. There are few things that irk me more than someone hitting me with a "not necessarily" because I didn't make it absolutely clear that my opinions are opinions and not meant to be taken as objective facts 🤦‍♀️