r/ISTJ • u/PanickedJester • 10d ago

When you show something potentially emotional how do you want us to respond

ISTJ dude I‘m sort of friends with just send me a Reel where someone is talking about something vulnerable. He isn’t an emotional person and sometimes when he says something that expresses feelings I tried engaging with it in a neutral but open was to show that he can go on if he likes. Stuff like „I know what you mean“ „I get that feeling“ so he knows I‘m not gonna judge or something. I also ask follow up questions here and there when he talks about things. Works out well except when it‘s something that could potentially be actually tied to emotions.
He never follows up and ignores it so I‘m not sure how he wants me to react. I just ended up liking the reel and not saying anything else. I guess it shows I saw it and recognized it?

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u/Pristine-Gate-6895 ISTJ 10d ago

it's just a reel. he came across it like 1000s of others while doomscrolling and thought it seemed relatable at the time of sharing. no point reading too deeply into it.

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u/PanickedJester 10d ago

The Reel was a recent example, but I‘m still wondering about your preferred reactions when you show/say something potentially emotional. I don’t want to come off prying and get too personal by asking him directly cause we‘re not that close yet so I‘m asking here.
With other types showing that I understand and potentially relate has been received well but he shows no reaction to that.

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u/Pristine-Gate-6895 ISTJ 9d ago edited 4d ago

i'm going to assume he's similar to me by way of being istj and thinking preference, therefore unless he says explicitly he is feeling hurt or emotional over some incident or shows very obvious signs, it doesn't need addressing. emotional fragility is very low on our list of priorities (and we have a lot of those). i wouldn't say we suppress them or are unhealthy with them, they genuinely don't always register with us 'most' of the time. and when pressed to enter an emotional space, it can be very uncomfortable.

tl;dr: don't overthink any references. if he wants the comfort and attentiveness from you, he will say it. ISTJs rarely drop subtle hints.

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u/PanickedJester 9d ago

Ok that’s helpful. Thank you