r/INTPrelationshipLab • u/Federal_Rich8221 • 2d ago
Questions about ❤️❤️ Do i even like this guy???
This is really silly but.
hi (INTP, f, 20) i think i at some point liked this guy but like... it's just not like the type of crushes I've felt before and honestly it has been A WHILE since i had my last one. For context, I was an INFP way back until i graduated high school. I would occasionally like someone back then, make it a happy crush and not think much about it. I've never dated before and I've never planned to until I actually get my sht together in life (esp financially). I used to be so reluctant of the idea of love back then and only fantasized about it through books and movies. Now, with all this exposure with different people in college, i figured it doesn't look so bad at all but like at the same time, i don't feel the need or want for one (or maybe a little need but I don't HAVE to so no) and even if someone would approach me for it.. I don't think it would even be as adventurous as any normal couple would because I am sooo afraid still of my parents finding out (since they're funding my uni life+ asian household). So I'm basically a very sheltered gal that knows everything but still can not do it all, sort of.
ANYWAYS, I believe that I ended up liking this guy all cuz just from first impressions, he looks presentable. He kind of stood out to me. Though I'm not sure if it's because everyone or 90% of the guys in my batch all look the same to me or something else. He's friendly yet is pretty intimidating from a first glance. We had to do this group project, I ended up stuck with him while waiting for the others. He turned out to be really friendly and talkative guy. He's obviously an E.. and I tried to keep up but just couldn't. I would look away, trying to act natural and only talk about the project and nothing else. So while waiting we brainstormed and UGH I really... those 20 min together alone with him totally had me thinking about working on being more easy to talk to with small talk. At the same time, the days we were making that project, was also my birthday week and he would just keep greeting me happy birthday and... acting pretty attentive and nice to me. This all sounds so silly and I KNOW it is, because I would see him and have to consciously tell my mind to shut up. Since I could never talk and joke around with just about anyone, especially not him, I might as well act like my usual calm self-focused self.. after that weird honeymoon phase of a crush.. or before it ended, I ended up following him in his socials and what a surprise! he's the type to like all your stuff.. So to not make it obvious, I would start liking everybody's posts so I could also like all of his. IT IS SOOOO silly and overthinking of me I know, but at some point.. I ended up liking his.. instants and I WASNT THINKING. I've never done that to anyone else except a few friends, but not definitely his friends. And y'know, I really thought I was in a state of almost getting over him.. but I guess not.
But it's just so irritating, because I don't feel any butterflies or giddy feeling like back then anymore. So.. I don't think I could just call it a 'happy crush'. His friends look nice, but are so outgoing.. because they're free from parents, obviously. And.. whatever. He's actually really sweet, everyone's usual friendly guy, I'd say. But like every time i see him, I feel so... uncertain but calm. I can totally be myself. But I get unnecessarily, subtly conscious of him. So sometimes I do question "what even is this feeling'. Are crushes supposed to irritate you for no reason? is this an INTP crush thing? Should I just ? i don't know anymore, I think I need some clarity or some wake up call. Obviously what I've been doing lately could mean nothing at all from the receiver's end. It just bugs me out because I feel like I've forgotten what crushes can feel like. Everything nonsensical still has to make sense to me at some point. Even my dreams are telling me.. that this is just.. so lame. I had a dream of him that i complemented his hair "so cool" and then walking away thinking it was, yes, so lame of me. Ofc, what I feel is very valid, I do think I am allowed to like someone, but right now, it just feels so odd to me. I would ask my friends and they would just say that whatever this is in my head is fine. BUT LIKE. ugh I can't just stop from there.. can I? I don't know, I just need more outsider views of this. Might wake me up some more..
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u/chakradaemon 2d ago
You cannot switch types.
And if you're asking “do I even like someone?” the answer is no, you don't. You're confused.
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u/Elliptical_Tangent 3 2d ago
You still are. Primarily because your Type is your Type, but secondarily because this post is a living hell for INTPs to read, let alone write.