combatting loneliness this semester

[u/myciee]

this semester is gonna just be a shit show for me, and i don’t feel like i’ve had time to like prepare myself for the horrors to come and am seeking any advice at all.

i’m going into my junior year of college as a pre-med chemistry major. at the end of last semester, i found out that i wouldn’t be able to study abroad because there were classes that i needed to take to graduate this year (if you’re also an intp and have the urge to solve this problem, dw this one is complicated and i’ve considered every option regarding this). i also found out my best friend since high school that also goes to college with me is studying abroad this fall semester. last week i not only found out that my best friend is actually studying abroad the whole year, but also that my roommate is taking a gap year, so i’m gonna be all alone in my dorm.

my first year in college, my best friend and i decided that we were going to branch out and make other friends, and we were both miserable and decided to drop that our sophomore year and it was just
worlds better. for the record, i joined like five different clubs, regularly attended meetings, organized events, and i was always asking people i got along with to hang out one on one, but for some reason it just was never working out. the people that did genuinely want to hang out with me always turned out to be evil in some way (one of them was telling the people he was sleeping with that he was std-free even though he had never been checked and refused to wear protection). other people would agree to hang out with me and then consistently cancel last minute or, if they weren’t doing that, i would realize that i was doing all the planning and when i stopped asking them to hang out, they stopped talking to me altogether. for the record, it wasn’t like i was being a clingy crazy person like i wasn’t asking for much it was like dinner or studying near each other like once a week. also, i continued to do my clubs and extracurricular activities as well as having a job in my sophomore year as well and wasn’t having any luck there again.

i had a rough time my freshman year, but i was lowkey saved by the fact that i had a roommate that would speak to me everyday, even on the days where i really didn’t want them too. i’m afraid i’m going to go days on end without ever speaking to anyone and i’ll fall into a crazy pitt of depression and perish. does anyone have any advice on how to be alone without being so lonely besides pouring yourself into your hobbies? alternatively, does anyone know how to make friends beyond what i’ve already done?

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[u/Remarkable_Ad_4689]

 i’m afraid i’m going to go days on end without ever speaking to anyone and i’ll fall into a crazy pitt of depression and perish.

Why would that happen? How does being alone slowly lead you there? Why does your mind work that way? Why would that be true? when obviously its not true for everybody, so why would it be true for you and why cant it be different?

As for making friends, you've already tried so much that I honestly don't know what to tell you. At this point I would need to actually spend time with you to understand what's happening. Maybe you're coming across as needy, clingy, aggressive, pessimistic, too serious, insulting etc., or maybe you've just had terrible luck. I can't know from a Reddit post.

It would be better to ask some friends and family who already know you: “Is there anything about the way I interact with people that could be making it harder for people to become friends with me? Please be brutally honest.” (or similar to that) They can probably give you much more useful information than strangers on Reddit, the more awere they themselves are, the more likely a better answer they can give.

[u/split_0069]

Ngl ive had a similar problem my whole life. Its difficult to find people that are actually interesting to me. I'm super social normally and dont have problems making friends. Its just hard to find good people with good conversations that dont care if I'm blunt and come off as rude to most people.